


How do I Compare Thee to a Summer's Day

by Loveless_Loveagain



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Anal Sex, Android!Hide, Angst, Canonical Child Abuse, Fingering, First Times, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, General gayness everywhere, Hybrid Child AU, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Neglect, Oral Sex, Sexual Experimentation, Slow Build, Virgin nerds, casual lesbianism, fluffy sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-04-16 05:38:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 49,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4613265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loveless_Loveagain/pseuds/Loveless_Loveagain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaneki walks home one day after a long day of school when he finds something peculiar in the garbage on a lowly street corner. Upon further inspection he decided to take home a new best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What Have We Here?

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I've taken so long to update orz  
> I've been so very busy with everything I just haven't found the time! Please enjoy this one, i plan to definately continue this little story of mine-w-/

“’Shall I compare thee to a Summer’s day?’”

Kaneki looked over that line over and over again, nibbling his bottom lip as he walked along. His shoes clacked on the stone road as he trotted along, seeming to echo on the quiet road. 

It had been a short day at school, and since his mother had been working overtime lately, he had to walk. It was quiet in the small town they lived in, everyone off to work at the moment or in their homes preparing food for the night. He’d been walking for a few miles now and so he decided to sit down in the shade and rest as he read. He sighed to himself, blinking when he noticed a little boy seeming to be about his age sitting beside a house. 

Immediately upon the sight, Kaneki was more than shocked. The boy was sitting, hunched over against the house across the street. All around him were bags of garbage. His spread legs were the only things keeping his body from limply lying on the dirt sidewalk. His blonde hair swayed slowly in the gentle wind that had been blowing that day.

At first, Kaneki thought the child was dead. He had watched him for a few moments and not once had the child moved, albeit his hair gracefully flowing in the wind. He hadn’t heard anything of missing children and the boy didn’t look like anyone he’d seen before. Maybe he was dumped there? Maybe he was murdered! He’d have to tell the police immediately. 

Then again, he figured he should probably go check and see if there was anything of use on the boy. If he did go to his school, or any school around his town, then he had to have some sort of ID. So Kaneki placed his books down in the shade and walked over to where the boy was sitting. Upon closer inspection, he could see that the boy was wearing a simple orange shirt and green shorts that cut off just above the knee. His blonde hair had a distinct patch of brown hair off to the side where his cowlick seemed to be. His skin had what seemed to be a warm glow but had grown pale. 

Kaneki definitely thought that this boy was dead. He gulped, extremely nervous. What would he get if he moved him? Just how long had this boy been there? It…couldn’t have been long. His skin still looked plush and his clothing was only lightly dusted in dirt that probably brushed up when he was placed there. With trembling hands, Kaneki reached over and touched the boy’s shoulder.

He was met with a warm, soft child’s shoulder and slight movement as Kaneki pushed against his shoulder. Kaneki frowned at the softness and the warmth but figured, the sun was shining down now so he was probably warm because of the sun. He shook the boy gently. 

“U-um…hey? Are you alive?” He asked softly, reaching over to cup the boy’s face and lift it so he could see. The boy’s eyes were closed and his face was serene, as if he was sleeping. He had full lips and dark brown eyebrows that were on the thicker side. Long eyelashes casted shadows over the boy’s peachy cheeks and Kaneki immediately thought the boy looked so peaceful, handsome even. He touched his cheeks gently, remembering that this may be a dead body he was touching. 

“Are you okay? A-Are you sleeping?” he asked hopefully, shaking him again. He jumped back when he heard a soft wirring noise, much like the sound of a computer starting up, emanating from the boy. 

Then a twitch. 

The boy twitched a bit and made a more vocal noise, a small noise from the pit of his throat. Kaneki gasped softly and went over to him, cupping his face again to see. The boy’s face scrunched up a bit, his button nose wrinkling before his eyes slowly opened a little. 

Electronic looking, deep brown irises; smooth as mother’s favourite milk chocolate truffles, could be seen, peeking out under those thick lashes of his. His lips parted a bit, seeming to pout a little and Kaneki gasped softly. 

“You’re alive! O-oh goodness, okay um…I’ll take you home. You need some help.” He said quietly to himself before stepping back. He ran back to where his books were and picked them up, tossing them haphazardly into his parcel bag and came back to the boy who was still slumped against the wall.

Kaneki bit his lip, unsure how he was going to get the boy back home. He didn’t live too far away but the boy didn’t seem like he could move on his own. He had to help this boy. He was alive and rotting in garbage. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right. His mother would not be proud of him if he just left him here. 

He bit his lip and moved to lift the boy into his arms, grunting at his dead weight. He squatted down and pulled him onto his back, slipping his hands under the boy’s slender thighs. As long as the boy continued to lean on him, he should be able to carry him. He panted quietly and started the trudge back home, determined to get this boy to safety.   
It took him a little longer to make it home but he made it somehow. He had avoided stares from others who happened to see them and had made it into his house without any issues. He carried the boy back to his room and laid him in his bed, frowning as the child remained entirely unresponsive. Other than blinking periodically, he did nothing.

Kaneki frowned and touched his chest, jumping when he felt a light thump under his fingertips. He stared at the boy for a few seconds in awe.

“Y-you are alive…” he mumbled and frowned looking at his hand. It was soiled in the light powdery dirt that the boy’s clothes were covered in.

“And you’re dirty…Hold on I’ll clean you.” He said quickly and looked down at the other. He then gently (apologizing profusely) pulled off the boy’s clothing to his simple white underwear and carried his clothing to the laundry room, tossing them into the washing machine. Mother had taught him how to do the laundry for times when she wasn’t around. He returned to the bedroom, where the boy still hadn’t moved, and carried him to the bathroom. He sat him in the tub and stared a shallow bath, making sure that the water was warm. He bathed the boy, washing his hair and his body with all the care that his mother would give him and then as gently as one could, he dragged the boy back into the bedroom after drying him off. 

“I’m sorry if you don’t like this, but mother doesn’t like it when my bed is messy, you see.” He explained, getting a blink as a response. The boy’s eyes looked toward the ceiling, showing nothing but a small twinkle of light. Kaneki frowned but dressed the boy anyway and touched his hair. 

“What happened to you?” He asked softly. 

No answer. 

“Can you speak?

No answer. The boy blinked slowly and continued to stare at the ceiling. Kaneki pouted, waiting a few minutes in silence before sighing. 

“Can you at least tell me your name? Can you do anything?” he asked, sounding a tad bit impatient. The boy’s eyes rolled slightly to watch Kaneki and Kaneki quickly jumped away from him, terror crossing his face. 

The boy’s eyes watched him tiredly for a moment before he turned his head slightly to watch the other. A small noise emanated from him, the same computer-esque noise filling the silence of the room before his eyebrows lowered a bit. 

“Hide.” 

The voice was soft, having a warm boyish tone to it. Kaneki totally missed seeing the boy’s lips moving. He couldn’t take his eyes off the boy’s warm eyes. By the time Kaneki registered that the boy had spoken to him, the boy had lowered his lids a little over his eyes, looking tired now. Kaneki hurried to the boy’s side. 

“You said Hide. Is that your name?” he asked, getting on his knees and rested his chin on the edge of the bed. He watched the boy eagerly as he nodded. 

“M…master g…ave m…me Hi…de.” He murmured softly, turning his head a tad to look at Kaneki. 

Kaneki tilted his head. “Gave you?” he asked. Hide blinked his lids slowly. 

“M…ast…aster le-e-eft m…me…” he said, his voice softer now. “I fa-a-ailed…” he stuttered out robotically, his voice having a static echo that faded into hollow white noise. It was slightly terrifying.

Kaneki frowned deeply and reached up to push some of the boy’s hair away from the back of Hide’s neck. A serial number was located there, 2548-2693-55. He gasped softly. He must have been one of those android thingies; one of those Hybrid children. They were a seemingly miracle creation, designed to be the perfect child/servant/toy once they were finished growing. However, people seemed to forget that they needed to learn and love to grow and soon got bored of them- bored of the responsibility. 

Had that happened to Hide? He had obviously been abandoned, and left to rot by whoever had owned him before. Kaneki gave a look full of pity toward the now sleeping Hide and gently ran his fingers through the boy’s soft blonde hair. How could anyone abandon them? They were as close to real children as technology could get. Abandonment hurts them as it would any other child, it kills them; and Hide was utter proof of that. He couldn’t have been there for longer than a day or two but he was already so far gone. 

Kaneki continued to gently stroke Hide’s hair, thinking that he had to save him. He had to make sure Hide was loved and that he knew he was loved. He wanted to watch the boy grow. “I’ll take care of you Hide.” He said softly, blinking when he heard the door unlock. 

“I’m home.” A gentle, female voice called. Kaneki smiled lightly before blinking and looking back down to the boy in his bed. He bit his lip and covered Hide with a blanket, making sure to let his head stay uncovered so he could breathe. He wasn’t sure if he even needed to breathe but he figured that, since Hide’s chest rose and fell rhythmically, he needed to breathe. 

He then trotted out with a smile to go hug and kiss his mother, smiling up at her. “Welcome home, Momma.” He said happily and took her hand. She’d find out sooner or later, might as well be now. She looked down at him, a confused smile on her face. 

“What is it, Ken?” she asked as she followed him to his bedroom. Kaneki bit his lip. “I found something. I want you to see him.” He said, leading his mother into his room. She pushed her eyebrows together. 

Him?

She walked into the bedroom and blinked seeing the small child lying under the covers, still except for his chest which rose and fell slowly. She hurried over to him and touched his cheek and forehead. She frowned. He was cooler than a normal human being should be. She looked back to Kaneki who was watching her nervously and she sat on the bed. 

“Ah, so you say you…found him?” she asked. Kaneki nodded, twiddling his thumbs. 

“He was lying in a pile of garbage about a mile from here…I couldn’t leave him there. It didn’t look like anyone was going to come for him. A-and he’s hurt.” He said. 

She frowned at him and then looked back to Hide. “What on earth is he?” she asked. 

Kaneki walked over and knelt on the ground again, resting his chin on the bed as he watched Hide. “I think he’s a Hybrid Child. Some of the rich kids at my school have one. Well, their parents do.” He said. 

Mai looked down at him with concern clear on her face before looking to Hide and she sighed. “Did he talk to you? Can they do that?” she asked. Kaneki moved his eyes from Hide’s peaceful face to his mothers and he nodded. 

“He told me his name and that his master gave him up. Also that he failed at something…He fell asleep again really quickly. He also sounds funny.” He said thoughtfully, looking up at nothing in particular as he tried to think.

Mai pushed her brows together in concern. Was this thing broken? Well…He was just a boy. And Ken had been around him for hours without it hurting him. “I want to talk to him when he wakes up. For now, just be careful alright. You can keep him for now, but you’ve got to take care of him, okay?” she said and Kaneki sat up. 

“I can keep him? Really?” he asked and Mai ran her hand gently through her son’s hair.

She smiled gently. “Yes, but you have to take care of him when I’m not here, alright?” she said softly and Kaneki nodded. 

“I will! I promise!” he said happily. Mai nodded to him and leaned down to kiss his forehead. 

“Alright then, honey. Be good and I’ll make dinner in an hour. Mommy just needs to finish some things up for work. Tell me if he wakes up alright?” she asked and Kaneki nodded. He watched her go and crawled up onto the bed so he could look down on his new sleeping friend. 

“Did you hear that Hide? I get to keep you!” he smiled and laid down next to the other, resting his head on the pillow. He looked up at the boy with a small smile. “I’ll make you grow up with me. I’ll take care of you Hide, no matter what.” He said, curling up with the other. 

After a short nap, Kaneki awoke to little arms wrapped around his waist and a sleeping boy resting his head on his chest. As he moved, Hide scrunched his face a bit, wrinkling his nose and furrowing his brow before nuzzling his chest and falling back asleep. Kaneki flushed gently, his cheeks warming to a light pink before he smiled and pet the surprisingly silky blonde locks. When the commercials for hybrid children said that they were extremely lifelike they weren’t kidding. Hide breathed like a human, smelled like a human, he felt extremely human. He was amazing; and he was his now to protect. 

“Ken? You awake?” 

His mother’s voice called him from the kitchen and with her voice came the sweet smell of his favourite food: hamburger, being cooked with some fried rice and vegetables. His mouth watered. 

“Yes, Momma! Just one minute, I’ll be right there.” Kaneki called with a quiet sigh. He would love to stay in bed forever and continue to pet those soft locks of his. His stomach growled as he tried to shimmy his body out from under the doll, inching slowly out from his grasp. Hide looked exhausted, terribly so, and he didn’t want to wake the poor boy up. He needed his rest so he moved slowly but surely. 

Hide slept like a rock. That was one of the many observations Kaneki made as he slowly slipped out from under his firm grasp. He pawed the bed, inching away until Hide stirred. Kaneki’s heart stopped as Hide let out a soft noise, a mewl perhaps and moved his hand to rub at his nose. After doing so, Hide yawned and rolled over onto his other side, curling up into a ball around a pillow and seemingly fall back asleep. 

Kaneki let out a sigh of relief, relaxing his ridged pose. He was free. He moved his hand back so he could set it on the bed and kick his feet off. 

Missing the bed’s edge entirely and falling off was not part of the plan. Kaneki let out a soft gasp, feeling the world disappear beneath him for a split second before tumbling to the floor with a loud thud. He grunted when his body hit the ground and he rolled on his side, clutching at his head as he whimpered in pain. 

“Ugh…” he groaned as he rolled onto his knees, blinking when he heard the shift in the covers. He looked up and jumped, seeing that Hide had sat up and his large brown eyes were focused entirely on him. They were deep and warm, showing a high intelligence as they watched him. 

Kaneki half expected Hide to laugh at him, or make fun of him like the other children would, but Hide was entirely different. The boy looked down at him with confusion and worry knitting his full eyebrows. 

“Hide?” Kaneki murmured.

Hide opened his mouth and a short but startling screech exited his lips that made both boy’s jolt. Kaneki covered his ears and Hide covered his mouth with a light blush over his cheeks. He furrowed his brows further, a little line between them before he cleared his throat and rubbed a tiny bit. He eyed the boy apologetically and in a small, robotic voice stuttered out, “Are you alright?” 

Kaneki frowned. “Me? What? Oh! You mean because I…” He trailed off as Hide nodded, still looking worried and Kaneki nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. Are you okay?” he asked and Hide bit his lip.

“I-I-I beli-i-i-ive so.” Hide responded, looking down as he rubbed his throat a bit more. He wasn’t quite sure what was wrong with his vocal unit. He cleared his throat with a quick hum and moved slowly out of the bed. Kaneki watched him as the boy moved to crouch on the floor beside him, looking a tad bit like a frog would before a pounce.   
It was rather adorable. 

“Are you sure you’re okay? I heard you hit your head.” Hide said softly, his voice much more stable but still a little on the mechanical side. It was definitely better than when he first spoke, however. 

Kaneki flushed lightly, blinking as Hide reached over to gently press his fingers through his hair and against his scalp and he moved away quickly. Hide retracted his hand, not wanting to impose. 

“Sorry.” Hide said quickly, not really understanding but whatever. Kaneki rubbed his head where he had fallen and he sighed softly before smiling. 

“I’m fine Hide, I promise. I am hungry though.” He informed and Hide tilted his head. 

“Hungry?” he asked curiously, thinking quietly about the term. He didn’t recall ever being hungry before. Perhaps it was an organic only feeling. Then again, he had only been alive for somewhere around a week. And he had been turned off for most of it. 

He climbed off the bed, holding onto the side of the firm mattress to give himself something steady before he pushed off, standing on his own. He gave a triumphant smile before he offered a hand to Kaneki, who was still sitting on the floor.

Kaneki took the small hand into his own, yelping quietly when he was hoisted up and he stumbled a bit before regaining balance. Hide watched him quietly and Kaneki could feel his cheeks start to burn under his gaze. 

“S-so, you want to go get some food? I’m sure mother made plenty for all of us,” he said softly. 

Hide nodded. “I’ve never had food before, but I am willing to try it,” he said with a smile, the expression easily warming the boy’s overall dollish face and making him look even more human. 

Kaneki tugged the boy’s hand. “Well then, follow me,” he said quietly. He led Hide out of the room, smiling to himself as he watched Hide walk beside him. He noticed a few things; like how Hide was an inch or two taller than him or how the boy had an odd, stiff walk. Probably from being out of use and unmoving for so long. He also noticed how Hide’s eyes were always moving, taking in every single aspect of the home it seemed. 

They made it to the kitchen and Kaneki smiled to his mother who was setting plates out for the two of them. She looked up and jumped a bit when she saw Hide beside Kaneki, lightly holding her son’s hand with a gentle smile on his face. She didn’t like those calculating eyes Hide had but she decided that he still hadn’t hurt her son so he couldn’t mean any harm. 

“Would you like some dinner as well, Hide?” she asked kindly. Hide gave a small nod. 

“If it isn’t too much trouble, ma’am. Thank you for letting me stay in your home.” He said and Kaneki quickly took notice to how the boy spoke.   
Mai did as well. “Alright, dear. Take a seat and I’ll set a plate up just for you.” She smiled softly before walking off to quickly put together a plate for him. She momentarily wondered where the kid was from. He didn’t speak like any sort of child she knew. Still, a child was a child. She piled on some food for Hide and set it in front of the boy, pouring him some apple juice. 

Hide squinted curiously at the amber fluid, tilting his head as he watched it fill the glass. “Madam drank this with her dinners sometimes. She scolded me for trying to taste some as it was for adults only. Are you sure it’s alright for me to drink?” he asked softly. 

Kaneki and Mai blinked at his question and Mai gave a soft laugh. “Oh, dear no it’s fine. She was probably drinking some sort of alcohol. This is just juice.” She said softly, pouring Kaneki some juice before filling her own glass. 

Hide pushed his eyebrows together and looked over his own glass before picking it up and smelled it curiously. It smelled harmless enough. He led the edge of the glass to his lips and took a small sip, blinking as the sweet and tangy flavor and wet sensation washed over his tongue. He pulled away and he swallowed, looking up at Mai. 

“This is really good,” he said softly. Mai gave him a gentle smile and Kaneki laughed quietly. 

“You should try the food.” He replied and Hide nodded, picking up a fork and pushed the prongs into some vegetables and brought them to his mouth. Again, amazed by the flavours and the texture, he continued eating. Almost immediately, he felt his energy grow and his mood improve. 

“You’re food is amazing, ma’am.” Hide mumbled, his mouth full of food and he was trying not to be rude. 

“Isn’t it though?” Kaneki asked, his mouth also full, though he took the precaution of covering his mouth before he spoke. 

Hide nodded graciously and he swallowed. “Do you cook every night?” he asked excitedly as he shoved more of the meat into his mouth as he turned his bright eyes to Mai. 

Mai smiled warmly at the boy. He felt much less intimidating now that the light was back in his brown eyes. “I’ll try, dear.” She said softly.

Hide’s smile fell. “’Try’?” he asked softly after swallowing. 

“Mother isn’t home every night since she works so much. But that’s okay. It just means that every night she is home it means that our time is even more special.” Kaneki said with a bright smile and Mai gave her son a sad but gentle look. 

“I’m glad you think so honey. Now, eat your greens. You need them to grow big and strong, you know.” She said softly as she started eating as well. 

Hide eyed her, seeing the tired sadness in her eyes. Even with that she still had happiness in her eyes. He wondered if she was masking it. He wondered what she was hiding. 

“Hide! Do you remember where you were from?” Kaneki asked suddenly, breaking Hide’s focus and Hide looked over to his friend. 

“Where I’m from? I don’t think I understand.” He said softly.

“Mother wanted to know where you were from.” He said again. Hide frowned, pushing his eyebrows together before he looked down at his plate. 

“I…I don’t remember where I was from…I remember my master and mistress though. They were very kind at first but after a few days they started to ignore me, lock me away even. Eventually, they turned me off and threw me out. When I tried going back, they packed me up with the rest of their garbage and tossed me onto the side of the road. After that I gave up.” He explained, pushing the last of his food around the plate. “They wanted a servant, not a child to care for.” He sighed, taking a sip of his drink. 

Kaneki made a look of pure disgust. “But…But you’re a person! Why would they treat you so harshly?” he asked softly and Hide simply shook his head. Mai reached over and gently touched Hide on the shoulder.

“Well you can stay here with us for as long as you want to.” She said honestly. She couldn’t bear to allow the poor boy to live one more day alone.

Hide looked up at her and he gave a small smile. “Thank you, ma’am.” He said softly. She smiled to him and simply continued to eat. Kaneki did as well, smiling giddily to himself. Now he finally had a friend! He wondered if Hide liked books and if he would come to school with him and do all sorts of fun stuff. 

Hide and Kaneki helped Mai by cleaning up the kitchen after dinner while she went to go finish up some work from earlier today and they kissed her goodnight before going into Kaneki’s room once again. 

Now, during this time, Kaneki would finish up his homework and then read to himself for another hour before he would crawl into bed and fall asleep, but Hide was with him and he couldn’t stop himself from asking questions. 

They were up all night until Kaneki fell asleep laying on the floor with his head rested on Hide’s warm soft belly. Hide was now the one to watch him sleep, smiling gently as he pet the boy’s hair. He never knew such kindness before walking into this household. He never knew such warmth. He ran his fingers through the silky black locks of his new master and smiled warmly, vowing to protect the child at all costs. 

A boy like Kaneki deserved all the happiness he could provide.


	2. Unending Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Homelife is peaceful and kind, giving Hide the love he needs to grow and Kaneki the friend he needs to survive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry mom.  
> Thank you for the support you all have given me! PLease enjoy the second chapter and comment on what I should do from here -w-/

The days of fall passed slowly as Hide found himself becoming closer and closer to Kaneki. They found out early on that Hide wasn’t allowed to go to class with Kaneki so he would spend his days reading quietly in Kaneki’s bedroom while the house was quiet. He didn’t like being alone, it made him feel low and tired. 

He managed however, taking short naps and cleaning up around the house- simply making sure that when Kaneki and Mai came home it would be clean and welcoming. He would prepare Kaneki some   
lunch for after school, taking care of him wherever Mai couldn’t. 

It took a noticeable toll on Mai. She was far more relaxed around him once the one month mark approached, and appreciated his hard work and dedication toward her son.   
Kaneki enjoyed finally having someone to come home to when school let out. He finally had someone he could vent to, even if it wasn’t vocal venting. Hide actually cared about him and it was something he truly needed. 

He noticed that Hide was growing ever slightly every day, whether it be physically or in personality. Every day, something new would happen to, who he considered, an angel among men. 

Today, Hide greeted him with a wide grin and a tin of…something he had bought for them to share. Often times, while they were away, he would go help out neighbors with their chores if he got too lonely. They gave him money and generally he would give it to Mai so she wouldn’t have to worry so much. 

“Welcome home, Kaneki.” He said with a smile, bouncing excitedly as he watched Kaneki hang his coat on the wall and kick off his shoes. 

“Hey, Hide. What have you got in the tin?” he asked softly as Hide led them to the immaculate living room and knelt down at the small coffee table. 

Hide’s grin widened as he rested his weight on his legs, settling the slender things beneath him politely. 

“Mr. Shinohara down the street gave me twenty dollars for helping him clean up the house and he let me play with his children! After I finished with that, I went to the supermarket and got these.” He said as he threw off the top of the tin, exposing an array of chocolates ranging from decadent dark chocolates to sweet and smooth white chocolates. 

Kaneki’s eyes widened as he looked over all the little sweets packed neatly in the tin and he looked up to Hide, who was clearly beaming.

“Hide…How? Chocolates like this are far more than twenty dollars.” Kaneki said, worried that Hide had done something rash.

Hide shook his head. “I’ve been saving up ever since I started working with your neighbors. I give ninety percent of it to your mother and I save a little bit for myself,” he said and scratched the back of his head. “You and Miss Mai are always so stressed out and you’ve both helped me so much. I wanted to give you two a gift. I saw this a long while ago and I decided that it would be the perfect present.” He finished, smiling shyly at the other. 

For the moment, Kaneki was stunned. Hide had worked his hardest and kept money “for himself” only to spend it on a gift for he and his mother. What kind of darling child was he? His cheeks flushed a warm pink color and he smiled to his best friend. 

“Thank you so much, Hide. I’m sure Mother will love it.” He said with a sweet smile. 

Hide blushed a tiny bit as well before he nodded. “Oi, oi…It’s your present too! So go ahead! I wanna see what you think of them!” he said excitedly, trying to hide his slight embarrassment. He scooted closer to the boy and nudged him gently. 

“Please?” Hide urged, grinning widely.

Kankei pursed his lips a little, shrinking a tad from Hide’s sudden closeness. 

“I’d love to Hide, but Mother isn’t home yet. I’d like to share them with her and you. If that’s okay.” He said quietly. This much was true: if it was “their” gift then he would enjoy it with the last party involved.

He noticed Hide’s face fall just a tad before his entire expression changed from excited to thoughtful. He’d been making that face a lot lately. Before long, he gently smacked his fist into his open palm in a moment of clarity. 

“Darn it! I thought I had waited for the perfect moment…Now you’ll have to wait.” He said, sounding slightly frustrated with himself before he gave Kaneki an apologetic look: complete with a small pout of his perfectly full lips. 

“I’m sorry Kaneki, I messed up.” He said, twiddling his thumbs a bit.

Kaneki was immediately flustered as he scooted closer, taking Hide’s hands gently into his. Hide jumped a tad at this. 

“No, no, Hide! Don’t apologize! It’s no big deal, I promise. I can wait a few more hours for mother to get home.” He said quickly, looking into those deep robotic eyes of Hide’s. 

Hide blinked a few times before pouting a little and then pursing his lips as he looked away. “If you say so Kaneki…But no touching until Miss Mai gets home then.” He said pointing a finger scoldingly at the boy and Kaneki smiled gently.

“Of course, Hide. Now let’s close them up and put them away for later. I don’t want them to melt.” He said quietly as he gently placed the top back onto the tin. Hide watched with a sigh before taking the tin and put it back into their bedroom. 

Kaneki followed him, dragging his back pack after him as he walked and he hung that in his closet. 

“Did anyone call?” he asked Hide, who was currently pushing aside clothes in the dresser to make room for the chocolates. Hide glanced over to him. 

“Once, a woman named who said her name was Aya called a few hours ago. I didn’t know your mother owed her money.” He said, pushing his brows together. Upon hearing the woman’s voice he didn’t trust her. He didn’t like the false kindness in her voice. 

He jumped when Kaneki dropped his book bag and he looked up, noticing the quick but harsh look Kaneki gave him. 

“Don’t say that about my mother. She works hard for everyone and doesn’t owe anyone anything.” Kaneki murmured, keeping an even tone. In all reality, Kaneki hated how hard his mother worked for his aunt alone and he was worried about her. His aunt didn’t deserve such treatment from his mother. She was a sweet caring woman who deserved all the happiness in the world. 

Hide frowned deeply, his eyebrow’s turning up at the boy’s tone. “I-I’m sorry Kaneki, I didn’t mean…”

Hide’s tone snapped Kaneki out of his upset stupor and he whined softly. “Oh…I’m sorry Hide…It’s not your fault.” He said softly going to him quickly and took his hands gently before smiling lightly and scratching his chin. “My Aunt is a kind woman, I’d be happy if you met her.” He said almost cheerfully. 

Hide had taken notice to Kaneki’s little tell almost immediately and he frowned at that. 

“Kaneki…” he murmured, blinking when he heard a knock at the door. Kaneki jumped. His mother wouldn’t knock at the door if it were her. 

Hide straightened up to move toward the door, blinking when Kaneki tugged his hand. 

“Don’t go. I’ll get it. Stay in here.” He said softly before taking a deep breath and left the room. 

Kaneki walked forward, dragging his feet a tad as he neared the door and he sighed softly. He pulled on a fake smile before opening the door, looking up at the woman timidly. Kaneki’s aunt stood there with a faux smile on her face while she removed her sunglasses from over her eyes. 

“Hello, Ken. Your mother home?” she asked softly, pushing some deep brown hair from her face behind her ear. A small diamond earing sparkled as she did so. 

Kaneki smiled up at her. “Hello Aunt Aya. No, mother isn’t back from her second job but she should be in a few hours.” He explained politely. Aya’s face fell just a tad before completely changing to a look of slight disgust. “Ugh, why is that woman never home when I need her.” She muttered and Kaneki felt his fingers tighten on the door. 

“Is there anything I can do for you?” Kaneki asked, faked curiosity still in his voice. He just wanted her to leave. 

Aya rolled her eyes. “Nothing much a kid like you could help me with. Tell your mother to call me when she gets home.” She said eyeing around the corner into the house and was actually quite shocked to see what was in there. 

The house, from what she could tell was in perfectly clean condition. Not a coat or shoe out of place in the entrance way. And, what was this? A pair of bright yellow and orange sneakers, looking freshly bought not even a few days old. 

Her eyes flicked over to Kaneki, who was eyeing her suspiciously. Her faux smile returned to her face but there was a bit more mischief inside those artificially white teeth of hers. 

“Do you have a little friend over Kaneki?” she asked, stepping forward. Kaneki pushed his eyebrows together. 

“No, why?” he asked softly while rubbing his chin uncomfortably. He wanted to close the door in her face right there.

Aya made a face of knowing and looked back into the house. “Then, uh, who’s shoes are those?” she asked softly. 

Kaneki made a face of quiet horror and he looked back to Hide’s adjustable sneakers beside his own school shoes. He gulped and looked back up at her. 

“O-oh right, uh, yes. They’re my friend Hide’s.” he said softly, internally sweating. He didn’t want this woman to know of his new and only friend. 

Aya smiled. “May I come in and meet him?” she asked, stepping forward again, easing her shoe into the crack in the door.

Kaneki frowned deeply, but he knew she wouldn’t leave unless he out right told her to and he simply didn’t have the guts to tell her to leave. 

He was about to respond with a shaky ‘No’ when a small hand gently touched his shoulder. 

“Kaneki, it’s okay. I’ve got it.” Hide’s gentle voice murmured before he moved in front of him, a warm smile on his face before he looked to Kaneki’s Aunt. This was the woman both he and even Kaneki disliked. He wondered why at first, but simply looking at her, he knew she couldn’t be trusted.

“Hello, Ma’am.” Hide started politely. Kaneki stood behind him, his stomach in knots.

Aya smiled to the boy, her smile widening upon meeting eyes with Hide’s shiny and robotic ones. “Ah, Hide. What a pleasure. May I come in?” she asked softly. Her son had wanted one of these little shits since the day he saw the commercial. She didn’t understand the appeal of having a toy that could grow and talk back but whatever her son wanted she got him.   
Unfortunately for her, her sad sack of a sister didn’t make nearly enough money for her to go and order one for her sweet little Yuuichi. Lucky her, however, that Kaneki seemed to have a real one living under his roof. She could easily just snatch him away.

To her surprise, Hide quietly shook his head. “Miss Mai instructed me not to let anyone into the home without her permission.” He said, looking up at her. “I’m sorry but could you come at a later time? I don’t want to get Kaneki in trouble with her.” He said, strengthening his hold on the door. 

Aya scoffed at him. “Please. I’m family! The only family they’ve got. I’m sure she’d-”

“I’m sorry Miss Aya.” Hide interrupted, holding firm. Kaneki was amazed at his unwillingness to budge. He and his mother probably would have broken down immediately. “I cannot allow anyone inside the house, including you. Please come back later tonight.” He finished looking up at her with a small frown. 

Aya frowned deeply, not liking being told that she couldn’t do something but huffed softly. Fine, she’d play nice for now. 

“Alright fine.” She muttered before looking to Kaneki. “Tell your mother that I’ll be back around nine tonight.” She said, eyeing him and Hide coldly before turning to walk off the porch and leave.   
Hide watched her go before sighing and closing the door. “I’m sorry your mother had to grow up with that woman…Kaneki, are you alright?” he asked seeing that Kaneki was quite literally about to faint. 

Kaneki was so astounded. How on Earth did Hide come up with that excuse so quickly and not back down from her? He wished he had that ability. Then he’d tell his Aunt to leave him and his mother alone. He felt Kaneki’s arms wrap around him gently and he flushed lightly as Hide pulled him gently into his arms. 

“I’m sorry if I scared you. But I didn’t trust that woman to come into this house without your mom here.” Hide said softly, rubbing Kaneki’s back. 

Kaneki whimpered softly in Hide’s arms. “I…I thought she was gonna take you.” He mumbled quietly, taking comfort in the gesture as he hugged his friend back. A gentle whirring noise could be heard when he got real close. 

Hide shook his head and pulled back with a little smile. “Nothing’s gonna take me away Kaneki. I won’t let them.” He said with a grin. “Lighten up! She’s gone and we won’t be awake to deal with her when she comes back. Relax for now.” He said patting his shoulders. 

Kaneki smiled just a little. He did like the idea of not having to worry about her for the moment. 

“Okay Hide…” he said softly, smiling wider as Hide took his hand lightly in his. 

“Want to go see what we can make your mom for dinner?” he asked curiously, stepping back further into the house. 

Kaneki smiled happily at the thought of making his mother something good to come home to. He nodded and Hide grinned. 

“Then follow me.”   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They spent about an hour just trying to figure out something they all could enjoy. Hide was never really picky with the foods he ate, excluding green peppers. Those things were gross. And black coffee. It was far too rich and bitter. 

They decided on simple spaghetti pasta with butter and gently roasted garlic for dinner. Something that could be warmed up if she came home a little later. Hide pulled an apron around Kaneki and tied it easily as they started cooking. Both males knew how to cooking if they must, Hide more so. Cooking is easy when you’ve got a robotic digital photographic memory and read all of the cook books in the house. 

He brought the water to a boil and dropped the pasta in, humming softly as he did so and he let Kaneki cut and cook the garlic. After about half an hour of cooking Hide folded the butter and garlic into the pasta before piling some onto three plates. He sighed softly as he paced Mai’s plate into the microwave before sitting down with Kaneki to help him with homework while they ate. 

“How is it?” he asked Kaneki quietly while he ate some garlic. Kaneki sighed softly in frustration at a more difficult math problem and looked up. 

“Huh?” he asked softly. Hide smiled softly, though slight worry was in his features. 

“Do you like your food? Are you okay Kaneki?” he asked worriedly. “You’re really distant.” He murmured, pushing his eyebrows together just a tad. 

Kaneki pursed his lips before scratching his chin. “I’m alright Hide. Just a little tired.” He mumbled softly, twirling some pasta onto his fork and ate it, blinking at the flavour. “Hide, this is really good!” he exclaimed, quite surprised and proud of the both of them. 

Hide beamed. “I’m glad! I was afraid you didn’t like it.” He said softly, looking down at his own half-finished plate. He continued to eat quietly, calculating larger numbers for Kaneki as they chatted quietly. Hide watched him out of the corner of his eye, worried about the expression he was making. Kaneki only made that face when something was weighing strongly on his mind and it worried him. 

Their life had been rather peaceful the month he had been here, so he wondered what had happened to make Kaneki worry so much. 

They finished their dinner in almost complete silence and Hide got up to clean their mess while Kaneki continued to do his homework. After that they went to sit in the living room and “Not cuddle” for a little bit. 

Hide let Kaneki rest himself in his lap, with Kaneki’s head rested comfortably underneath Hide’s chin while he continued reading one of his father’s novels. Hide rested his hand on Kaneki’s hip naturally, idly flipping through channels before stopping on an atronomy documentary. The first time they did this, Mai poked fun at them and Kaneki was quick to say they weren’t cuddling. Hide didn’t care either way, so long as Kaneki was happy and comfortable. 

Mai walked in a little bit after the documentary ended and they smiled to her as she walked in. 

“How was work momma?” Kaneki asked sitting up a little in Hide’s lap, causing the slightly bigger boy to grunt under the weight. 

Mai looked over to them and gave a gentle smile. “Tiring, but I got most of it done. Did anyone stop by?” she asked softly while setting her hat on a hook before walking inside. 

Kaneki made a face and looked down. “Aunt Aya came today asking for you again.” He mumbled softly and her face fell a tad. 

“Oh? Did she say what she needed?” she asked softly, pulling her scarf from her neck. 

Hide frowned. “Over the phone she told me that she wanted to ‘Talk to you about her money troubles” and was wondering if you could help her out if I remember right.” He explained and her face fell even more. 

“Oh…Well alright. I’m sure I could help her.” He said softly before sighing and rubbing the bridge of her nose. 

Kaneki watched her and his face was rather pained. He gripped the edges of the book and he opened his mouth to speak before Hide touched his shoulder and shook his head. He knew Kaneki would get too emotional with this. 

“Miss Mai, should you really be giving her that money?” he asked softly, gently shifting Kaneki from his lap. “You work so hard, yet we’re still picking pennies…Is this alright?” he asked softly. 

Mai frowned deeply before looking down at the floor and pushed her bangs from her forehead as she thought.

“I’d rather suffer than let her suffer like mother said she would…I have to help her.” She said softly, smiling to her son. “Everything will be okay Ken. Don’t worry about us.” She assured quietly.   
Hide frowned as he listened, hugging Kaneki gently. “Mrs. Aya told us to tell you that she would be here around nine tonight.” He informed.

Mai frowned and Kaneki curled in closer to Hide. 

“Alright boys. I think it’s time for bed,” she said softly and Hide gave a small nod before turning off the tv. They both gave Mai a hug before they walked into the bedroom to get changed for bed and get some much needed sleep. 

Mai sighed softly and continued to work, making six bouquets of paper flowers before Aya came back. She gave a tired smile as she answered the door for her sister. 

Aya walked in with an exasperated sigh. “Mai, love I need help. My rent’s due and I don’t have near enough to pay. And Yuuichi, my darling, he needs some more school supplies. Some sad bully stole his book bag from school and I just…” she lied, letting her face fall into her hands. 

Of course Aya was immensely well off. Of course this wasn’t true. Of course this was just a ploy.

Mai knew all of this, and yet seeing her sister hunched over like she was pained her so greatly. She knew it was a lie but still she couldn’t bear to see her elder sister in such dismay, however fake it was. She wanted to make her sister happy. 

She sighed and pulled a small envelope from her pocket and offered it to her sister. “Here you are…This is all I could give until the end of the month.” 

Aya perked up almost immediately at the sight of the money envelope and se took it. She tried to hide her grin and smiled softly at her sister. 

“Thank you Mai. I really needed this.” She said as she pulled it out and started to count it, blinking at how little it was. “Where’s the rest of it?” she asked. 

Mai shifted a bit uncomfortably. “My boss cut my pay. I need to be able to feed my son.” She said honestly. 

Aya frowned at her. “You’re feeding that Hybrid Child as well aren’t you? Get rid of it if you want to save expenses.” She offered and Mai frowned at her. 

“He’s just a child Aya. I am not going to force him onto the street.” She said defensively. Not only would that destroy Hide, Kaneki would never forgive her. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself. 

Aya sighed softly and stood, tucking the money back into the envelope before pushing it into her purse. “I understand. Well, thank you for this much, but I would really appreciate having what I asked for next time.” She said with a thin smile before pulling Mai in to a short and lose hug.

She tipped her hat and smiled softly as she left. Once she turned away she scowled at the miniscule amount of money. “Good for nothing woman. She should just drop dead if she’s gonna be such a dead beat.” She muttered softly, moving to get into her car.

Mai watched her go before sighing deeply and went to close the door. She sat down on the couch, resting her head on the back of it and closed her eyes, trying to relax. She couldn’t give any more. She was giving it her all. She was a twenty eight year old woman who felt like she was eighty simply because she couldn’t catch a break. 

She rubbed her tired eyes and pushed her glasses up on her nose before heaving herself up off the couch. She guessed she’d just have to work harder to support all the people she cared about. No one deserved to suffer because of her laziness. She moved into the kitchen, smiling when she saw the scribbled note on the microwave. 

“We made dinner for you! We hope you enjoy it. Love Hide” And beneath that in much neater writing was “and Ken”. 

Mai smiled warmly to herself, holding the sweet note to her chest. The idea of her boys making her dinner was just so loving. It warmed her tired heart. She opened the microwave to see what they had made before closing it to heat it up. 

She poured herself a glass of ice water and brought her dinner to her work room so she could work well into the night to finish all the extra work she could. 

Over the next few weeks work was Mai’s life. She would go to her first job early in the morning, waking Kaneki up for school before she left. At noon she would go to her second job and then five hours after that she would go to her night job, coming home later and later each night. Once home she would comtinue working, making little paper flowers to sell. Anything that wasn’t too distasteful to earn some extra money. 

This trend worried Kaneki endlessly. He barely ever saw his mother anymore and when he did see her she was too busy with some new project she was doing to earn more. Even Hide asked everyday what more he could do to help her and every day she would just smile at him and tell him what he was doing already was fine. 

She looked exhausted. Her hair was always thrown up in a messy ponytail. Her eyes had deep purple circles under them. Kaneki was convinced she wasn’t even eating anymore. She didn’t look like herself and it terrified him. 

Still, Kaneki held his tongue. He couldn’t allow his mother to know how scared he was. He couldn’t allow his mother to know how worried he was for her. He didn’t want her to stress any more than she had to.

Every morning Kaneki would give his mother a gentle hug and a smile, wishing her a good day. She would leave, kissing his and Hide’s foreheads before leaving with a sweet smile and an “I love you”. Kaneki found himself crying softly into Hide’s shoulder as Hide held him close and rubbed his back while they waited for Mai to come back home. 

After almost two months of nearly tiring work, sleepless nights, and unending requests for more money from Aya, Mai’s body finally gave out. 

On a quiet Thursday night, she slumped against her work desk, gone by the time Kaneki came in the next morning to check on her. In the mornings, Hide woke up two hours after Kaneki had gone to work but this morning he was awoken by a loud wail of anguish and terror, coming from the work room. 

His eyes opened quickly, blinking a bit with light before he started up completely and looked around. “Kaneki?” He murmured confused before he heard another loud sob. He dragged himself up and ran out into the hallway, entering the work room where Kaneki was sobbing beside his mother’s body, shaking her desperately trying to wake her up. 

“Mother! Mother please! Please wake up!” He cried with no response from her. Kaneki shook her again, his face looking broken and terrified. His bottom lip trembled as he shook her, even now trying to be as gentle as he possibly could with his mother. 

“M-momma please…Y-you’re gonna be late for work! Y-yeah! You have to get up! A-and then y-you’ll come home a-and we can eat dinner together l-like always…m-momma please…please wake up…” he whimpered feeling his heart clenching as he moved to try and hug her tightly, crying against her breast. 

“Please don’t leave me too…” he sobbed, blinking as he listened to her chest. After a few seconds, his breaking quickened and he jumped back from her, his face a look of sheer horror. Her chest sounded empty. Hallow. Where had her sweet comforting heartbeat gone? 

The look of terror was replaced with indescribable pain and he sobbed out loudly pressing his face into her shoulder, shaken by her cold skin.   
“N-not you too…”

Hide watched, gulping back tears of his own as he watched them. He shook his head and quickly ran away to the kitchen, tearing the phone from the wall and dialed the police.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
In five minutes they were there and in twenty, they had hauled her away in a body bag while Kaneki struggled against an officer who wouldn’t let him go with her. In twenty minutes they were driving back to the police station, Kaneki curled in a ball against Hide who hugged him as well as he could on their ride back to the station. They sat in the waiting room for about an hour before Aya finally came to take them home with her. 

She took them back to pack some clothes. She then brought Kaneki and Hide to her own lavish home. His uncle and cousin weren’t home and she had to leave to go back to work. She led them to a spare room and left without a word to either of them. 

Once alone, Kaneki fell to his knees, leaning against Hide’s chest as Hide held him tightly. 

This was it. 

He was finally in his own personal hell. 

Hide frowned deeply as Kaneki trembled in his arms and continued to cry. He sighed softly, leaning against the wall as he held the boy close, cradling him and rocking him gently. He pet his hair ever so gently, looking up at the ceiling and he sighed closing his eyes. What were they gonna do now? He had no idea. He let Kaneki cry against him, holding back his own tears of loss. 

God…what were they gonna do now?


	3. Give me a Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life gets worse and worse and Kaneki feels himself growing numb to the pain, finding his only vice in the world is his only friend Hide.

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,  
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date.

Kaneki sat on the school bus, looking down at his brown shoes with a tired look on his face, holding his book bag to his chest. God he was so exhausted. He looked out the window, waiting for his and his cousin’s stop while he tried to make himself as small as possible. Maybe if he made himself something to ignore Yuuichi would do just that. 

After being carted off to his Aunt’s house about month ago, Kaneki hadn’t found it in his heart to look at any of his relatives with any sort of affection. In his mind, it had been them who damned him to this. 

Of course, he didn’t hate them. He just…he couldn’t bring himself to give anyone the love they felt they deserved. 

It hadn’t been so bad the first week he had lived there. They cared for him, bought him new clothes and gave him treats. They praised him for his hard work in class, despite his grief. Hide stayed beside him as always, giving him all the truly comforting hugs he could ever need. 

All that went away pretty quickly though.

Soon, his aunt started to insult him on a daily basis, even blame him for what happened to his mother. She started feeding him less and less, ignoring him at the dinner table. No dessert for him. No fresh food. No new clothes. No anything. 

He woke up early so he could finish Yuuichi’s homework so his grades didn’t falter because god knew his cousin wasn’t going to do it. He went to sleep late after doing all his and Yuuichi’s chores and then eating whatever was left for him after his aunt’s family finished eating and had gone to bed.

After that, he had to finish his own homework and have Hide lull him to sleep, if he was even there. 

Aya had decided that Kaneki wasn’t good enough for Hide and often forced Hide to stay in Yuuichi’s toy room. 

To her, Hide was Yuuichi’s toy now.

Hide would do his best to escape on a nightly basis, trying not to have his own internal melt down. 

Many nights, Kaneki had gone to bed alone, crying himself to sleep if it came to that. 

Kaneki stared out the window, trying to block out what his cousin was saying to the others on the bus, smiling just a little when he got to their stop. He waited for Yuuichi and a few others to exit before climbing off the bus and hurrying to the house. 

He kicked off his shoes and shuffled into the house as quietly as he could, not wanting to bring attention to himself. He just wanted to go to his room and spend a little bit of time with Hide before his demon of a cousin and his stupid friends got there to take him away like every Friday. 

He stole the keys from Aya’s home work room and walked across the hall to the toy room to unlock the door.   
“Hide!” he whispered softly, looking to the boy laying against the wall in sleep mode.

Hide’s body made a quiet whirring noise as he started up and his eyes opened with a soft beep. Kaneki frowned a bit. His start up noise was getting more and more noticeable with each passing day. A correctly working Hybrid Child should be almost undiscernible to a human even when they slept or awoke. 

Hide looked up at the black haired boy and a bright smile spread across his face. 

“Welcome home.” 

Both boy’s flinched when Hide’s robotic voice exited his mouth, creating a metallic echo in his throat before he cleared it. 

“S-sorry.” Hide mumbled softly while looking down and rubbing his throat and Kaneki shook his head, moving to go hug his best friend. 

“It’s not your fault…” Kaneki whispered into the crook of Hide’s neck, holding him close. 

Hide smiled softly and hugged him back, resting his round chin on the boy’s shoulder while patting his back. 

“Thank you Ken.” He said softly, looking up when he heard the door open once again downstairs and about three distinct voices continued their conversation loudly from outside. 

“Yuuichi, where’d that nerd of a cousin go?” One boy asked. 

Yuuichi snorted.

“He’s probably in his room reading some of his dad’s weird old books.” 

A bit of laughter could be heard before loud footsteps could be heard. 

“Hurry up and get that toy again. I wanna see what more we could make it do.” 

The voices were getting louder and Hide sighed deeply before looking to Kaneki and touched his cheek. 

“I don’t want you to get in trouble Ken…Get to your room. They’ll get bored of me sooner or later and I’ll come in to visit you before Mrs. Aya comes home.” 

Kaneki whined but nodded, first going to hide in the closet as the boys walked inside the room, dropping their bags to the floor. 

Yuuichi walked in with one slender, brown haired boy and a taller, heavier black haired boy. The two friends looked around the room with grins on their faces while Yuuichi made a beeline for Hide, who had made himself fall limp once again. 

Yuuichi moved and grabbed a fistful of Hide’s hair and jerked his head up. 

“Hey wake up. Are you broken you something?” He asked, shaking Hide’s head a little. 

Hide gave it his all to not push the boy away and opened his eyes. 

“No, Yuuichi, sir.” Hide mumbled softly, not looking the boy in the eyes. 

Yuuichi smirked and dropped him. 

“Good, now get up. Ken’s got his hands full with all our homework so I’m gonna have you do my chores. Sei wants to see what else you can do too.” 

Hide looked at the floor, giving a small nod and a “yes sir” before pushing himself off the floor. Once off the floor, Yuuichi slung his arm around the back of Hide’s neck and dragged him out of the room with his two friends in tow.

The look on Hide’s face as he left with them made Kaneki want to cry. Hide was his Hybrid Child. Hide was his friend. To see him treated like dirt made him want to throw up. 

He stepped out of the closet he was standing in with his hands balled up so tight he was sure he was going to have cuts in them when he calmed himself down. His shoulders trembled as he grit his teeth, trying not to cry. 

He could hear them taunting Hide downstairs and he knew Hide was hiding all of his emotions so they wouldn’t really hurt him. 

Hide was smart like that. 

He walked out of the toy room, returning the key to said room to Aya’s study before going to his room, pulling out the food he had in his back pack. He tried to block out what they were doing with Hide while he started working and snacking.

A few hours later, Kaneki had finished up all the easy work for all of them and was currently reading and taking notes, doing his own homework when Hide walked inside holding something under his arm. 

Kaneki looked up, blinking as Hide set the plain brown paper bag on his desk without a word. He frowned at it before looking up to Hide. 

Hide looked a tad bit messed up, his hair was a mess from where Yuuichi constantly dragged him around by it and was damp all over from when they pushed him into the shower to see if he would short circuit. He didn’t in the technical sense. 

He was very annoyed however. 

Hide simply went and plopped down against a nearby wall, watching him tiredly. 

“What is this?” Kaneki asked, touching the brown paper. It felt like there was a box inside. “And what on earth happened to you?” he continued, looking confused. 

Hide patted his tousled hair down with a sigh and shook his head. “Yuuichi thought I’d short circuit in a bath. Don’t worry about it. That came in the mail for your aunt but I think you should have it.” He said softly. 

Kaneki pushed his eyebrows together in worry. 

“You stole from my aunt?” 

“You don’t want her to have that.” 

“Why not?” 

“Open it and see.” Hide insisted and Kaneki sighed, opening the bag. He blinked seeing a small wooden box, a sheet of mellowly decorated grey paper and an envelope inside. 

He pulled the box out, touching the shiny lacquer which brought out the beautiful wood grain and ornate carvings in the wood before looking it over. 

There was a golden lock with two keys attached to it hanging from a clasp on the top part. It looked like it could open but he decided it as better not to at the moment. 

He then reached over and pulled out the envelope and opened it, stiffening as he read it. It was a death certificate and authentication of cremation with his mother’s name on it. 

Kaneki’s eyes widened and he looked to the box again, feeling his eyes prick with tears. His mother was in that box…Her ashes filled that box now. He thought he’d never get her back.

He moved to touch the box again, caressing the wood lovingly before bringing it closer and pressed his forehead to the top of it. He cried for a few minutes, soundless sobs escaping him while Hide looked on. Kaneki whispered a soft prayer then moved to put her in his closet, hiding her so hid stupid cousin and Aunt wouldn’t find her immediately. 

He closed the door and touched the chipping paint on the door, smiling a little to himself. At least he still had her. He’d put her to rest one day in a nice pretty place. Maybe he’d bury her around a tree with Hide. She’d like that. 

Hide heaved himself off the floor with a soft grunt and moved to pat Kaneki’s back with a small smile. 

“Feel better having her back?” he asked softly. Kaneki smiled a little before looking up at Hide. It bothered him just a tad to have to look up at the growing boy but no matter. He blushed a little bit before moving to hug him, resting his chin on Hide’s shoulder. 

“Thank you.” He sighed softly. 

Hide smiled gently and hugged him back. 

“No problem Ken.”

Kaneki laid in bed for a little bit, curled up with Hide as he read and Hide dried his clothes a bit on the desk. Hide draped his arm around Kaneki, giving the smaller boy some comforting weight and warmth while he let his mind wander in those books he read. Hide didn’t understand them but he accepted them. 

Hide was partially nude, wearing a pair of green boxers as he rested his head on a pillow. Today had been particularly physically and emotionally exhausting. Kaneki gently caressed Hide’s warm skin while he read, absently moving his fingers over the dips and curves in Hide’s chest. 

This had become the norm for both of them when they had some time alone. They figured they only had each other in this world now and they both enjoyed this close contact. Neither of them thought much of it, being so close to one another felt natural and right. 

Hide stiffened when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs and Kaneki frowned a little. 

“Are you okay?” he asked and Hide frowned, sitting up as Yuuichi barged into the room. 

“Hey Ken I need- Oh my god.” 

Kaneki sat up immediately when he saw the egotistical look on his cousin’s face. 

“Y-yuuichi it isn’t what it looks like.” He said quickly. 

Yuuichi snorted and walked over to grab Hide from the bed, gripping his arm tightly. 

“Oh sure this isn’t what it looks like. What a weirdo, cuddling up with a doll. And a guy one at that! Is this your thing Ken?” he asked taking Hide by the hair and shook him a little. 

Hide couldn’t hide the grimace of pain on his face and Kaneki blushed deeply in both anger and embarrassment. 

“Let him go Yuuichi! You’re hurting him!” 

“You can’t hurt a toy Ken. Look!” he said kicking Hide to the floor. Hide’s eye’s flickered as the Yuuichi’s heel thrust it’s self into his secondary neurological system, causing his eyes to blink on and off as he hit the ground. 

Kaneki shrieked loudly, pushing himself off the bed to help Hide from the floor. 

“Stop that!” He yelled trying to shield Hide from the next few kicks. Yuuichi laughed at them. 

“What a bunch of losers. No wonder your mom died. Probably couldn’t stand looking at you anymore.” 

Hide’s eyes flickered again when he heard this and he looked up at Kaneki who looked completely broken before it screwed in anger. 

“Shut up about my mother!” He yelled and in an instant of rage threw his book at Yuuichi’s face. 

Yuuichi yelped as the book contacted roughly with his nose and he staggered back, holding his face as blood dripped into his pals and down his wrists. 

Kaneki’s eyes widened in horror as tears stung at his cousin’s eyes and he growled. “Oh you’re gonna get it now, you little crap.” He snapped, getting ready to simply wail on Kaneki before he heard the door open and his mother call from downstairs. 

Yuuichi blinked before smirking. Before Kaneki knew it, his cousin had whipped up some tears and ran downstairs; sobbing that Kaneki had beat him up. 

Kaneki gulped dryly and Hide looked up at him in mild shock. He never thought Kaneki had it in him. He moved to cup Kaneki’s face, trying desperately to stop the inevitable panic attack before Aya screeched Kaneki’s name. 

Footsteps could be heard as she rushed upstairs, bursting through the doorway. She looked furious. 

“What the fuck did you do to my little boy you monster?” she growled, lifting Kaneki by the ear to his feet. 

Kaneki yelped out loudly. “I-I didn’t mean too! H-he was hurting Hide a-and I-”

Aya pinched harder. “You threw a book at my son’s face because of some stupid toy? Are you fucking crazy?!” she screeched before letting him go and lifting Hide by the arm. 

“You’re banned from seeing him in this house. I’ve had it with this bullshit.” She hissed blinking as Hide struggled against her grasp. 

“You can’t do that Mrs. Aya.” He said, trying to sound as indifferent as possible but he could feel his heart start to race. 

Aya glared at him. “Are you back talking me too, you piece of trash? Fine. If you’re smart enough to do that then I guess you have to learn.” 

She dragged him out of the room and threw him into the hallway broom closet, having nothing in it but a few cleaning supplies and a single swinging lightbulb. She removed the light bulb and threw him inside the closet. 

“You can come out tomorrow morning. If I remember that is.” She hissed. She slammed the door, locking it from the outside just as Hide threw himself against the door with a cry of horror. 

Hide cried out in terror, beating his fists on the door. 

“No! Please! I’m sorry for talking back! P-please don’t leave me in here! M-Mrs Aya please!” He begged. 

Kaneki whimpered in his room watching s she put the key on top of the shelf in her study and closed the door, looking indifferent as Hide’s cries continued. She approached Kaneki’s room and frowned down in disgust at him. 

“No supper for you. Finish your homework and come down when I say so to clean up.” She grumbled before shutting the door and leaving. 

Kaneki trembled on the floor, staring blankly at the closed door while he listened to Hide continue to cry and beg to be let out of the closet just like he once had back at his old owner’s house. 

After an hour, Aya’s husband came home and promptly shut Hide up with a threat to dismantle him and throw him in the garbage dump. Both Hide and Kaneki knew he wasn’t kidding. 

Kaneki sniffled as he continued to work, wiping his tears and snot onto his sleeve as he tried to not make a mess. He hoped Hide was okay. He hoped Hide had just put himself into sleep mode like always to preserve himself. 

He hoped Hide wasn’t suffering too much. 

Aya called him down after dinner to make him clean up all their dinner mess, leaving just a little bit of extra fried meat and vegetables for him to secretly wrap up and eat later. He finished quickly and went to sit beside the door, leaning against it with his palm pressed against the door. 

Hide had gone quiet inside and it worried him but he didn’t want to risk waking him and scaring him even further if he was indeed asleep. So he sat there for a moment, simply caressing the wood and hoping that Hide was okay before Aya scolded him and told him to go to bed. 

That night Kaneki couldn’t sleep, clutching a pillow to his chest as he tried to not think of the cruel things his cousin said. 

‘What a bunch of losers. No wonder your mom died. Probably couldn’t stand looking at you anymore’

Kaneki buried his face into the pillow which Hide had been lying on not hours before and breathed in deep to try and calm himself. He couldn’t last without seeing Hide smile at him every day. He wouldn’t be able to handle it. 

He went to school before Aya went to work so there was no way he could convince her to let him out before then…He’d have to let him out himself or he’d be stuck in there for days until Yuuichi was interested in him again. 

He had to let him out of there as soon as he could. 

He waited for the last light to go out upstairs before he quietly inched out of the room, hissing softly as the door creaked as he opened it. 

Why was everything so much noisier at night?!

He paused as he waited for his plain to be foiled before sighing softly in relief as none of the lights came on. He tiptoed slowly to the study and climbed on top of a shelf and reached for the closet keys. He bit his lip as he just barely got them, dragging them slowly to himself. 

He grinned as he held them in his hand and he descended as quietly as he could before hurrying to the closet. He looked over the keys before pushing one inside the lock with a soft sigh as it turned. He unlocked the door and opened it as quietly as he could, squinting through the darkness to see a dark slumped shape lying on the floor. 

It looked like Hide had started clawing at the door when his Uncle threatened him and he frowned deeply. His poor Hide.

He moved to lift Hide into his arms, cradling him gently. 

“Hide, wake up.” He whispered softly, petting his soft messy hair gently. 

Hide whirred to life like always and he looked up to Kaneki after a few seconds of startup. His eyes glowed in the dark and he smiled a little. 

“Kaneki…You came. W-what are you doing here?” he asked, his face quickly changing from relieved to worried. 

Kaneki shook his head and nuzzled Hide’s hair. 

“I couldn’t leave you in there alone, Hide.” He whispered softly, hugging him closer. “I’m so sorry you got in trouble, Hide. I’m so so sorry…” he whispered, gasping quietly when he felt arms wrap around him with the most gentle care. 

“It’s not your fault.” 

Kaneki blinked at those words and he frowned deeply. He wasn’t sure if he could believe those words. Still, he leaned into Hide’s touch and hugged him for a good long while before sitting up. 

Hide bit his lip a bit before looking up at him. “I can’t come out. Not right now. Mrs. Aya will get upset and I don’t want her or her husband to get involved any more than they already are.” He said softly. 

He didn’t like this but he had no choice. Kaneki pushed his eyebrows together. 

“H-hide I can’t do that! I can’t lock you in again…”

“You have to. I’ll be okay until morning.” Hide assured with a small smile and Kaneki pouted before gritting his teeth and nodding. 

“F-fine…will I see you tomorrow?” he asked. 

Hide looked down in thought. “I’ll do my best.” He finally answered, noting that Kaneki didn’t look too convinced. Hide sighed and reached up to gently cup Kaneki’s plump cheeks. 

“I can’t give you a definite answer but I promise I will try my best to see you tomorrow. I can’t promise anything past that though.” He murmured softly. 

Kaneki bit his lip with a small whimper but nodded, pressing their foreheads together for a short moment before Hide slid himself back into the closet. 

Hide took a deep breath and exhaled quietly before giving the boy a bright smile. 

“Sleep well, Kaneki.”

“You too, Hide.” 

Kaneki shut and locked the door, giving Hide a moment to break down once more, quietly whimpering to himself out of loneliness and fear. This was a side of himself he must never allow Kaneki to see. 

Kaneki touched the door gently one last time before leaving to put the key back in the study and then went to try and get some sleep before having to wake up again. 

Even after seeing Hide, it was a rough night for him. He wondered, even in sleep, if Hide was indeed alright.

Three years pass without much improvement. Instead of the regular verbal and mental abuse, Kaneki had gotten comfortable with the regular indifference that was given to him by his family. 

Yuuichi had since gotten bored of Hide and so didn’t really watch over him like at first and so Hide and Kaneki snuck off to hang out much more. 

During the day while the family was away at their respective daily duties, Hide would sneak out of the house and help out the neighbors like he used to. He babysat younger children, he cleaned the houses of the elderly, even made small deliveries around the suburban community. 

Underneath Aya’s nose, Hide made a good amount of money and made plenty of friends and allies. He was simply waiting to use them to his advantage. 

He knew Kaneki was content, but he wasn’t willing to take this neglect sitting down. 

Even still, he kept quiet, being compliant to Aya and her husband. Better safe than sorry for now. 

December rolled around rather quickly and each day, Hide was leaving to buy Kaneki one nice Christmas present. He would hide them where he knew no one went and pretend to not know about them. 

On the twentieth, when he knew no one was going to celebrate it, Hide went out and bout a small cake for he and Kaneki to enjoy. He decorated Kaneki’s bedroom with bright green and yellow streamers and happy birthday banners. 

He tried his hand at making cards for the birthday boy, his tongue hanging out as he cut and pasted drawings of himself and Kaneki to card paper found in Aya’s study and wrote kind words in them. 

Of course, because Hide had never been allowed to practice art, he’d never gotten very good but he tried his best.

When he heard the door open downstairs and Kaneki call to him he smiled and lit the candles.

“I’m upstairs Ken!” he called before trotting back into the bedroom to hold the cake for him. 

Kaneki frowned a tad at Hide’s odd behavior but it was alright. He pulled his coat off as well as his hat and shoes, setting them neatly in their designated places before walking upstairs. 

“Hide what’s this about? You know you’re supposed to be in the toy room.” He called softly as he entered the bedroom, blinking when he saw the scene Hide had created in his room. 

Hide grinned cheerily. 

“Happy Birthday Ken!” 

Kaneki was dumbfounded. He hadn’t celebrated his birthday in three years. 

“H-hide! How you did…Why did you-?” he asked, watching Hide push the cake toward him. 

“Fourteen is a big deal Ken! You have a right to celebrate your birthday as much as everyone else does.” He grinned and looked down to the cake. “Better blow our your candles, they’re melting on the cake.” He warned. 

Kaneki smiled softly at his friend, rubbing his eyes as the warm happiness swelled in his belly and made his eyes tear up. 

 

Hide truly was the only one who honestly cared about him in this world. 

Hide frowned as a look of horror crossed his face. 

“Why are you crying? Did I do something wrong?” he asked worriedly, frowning as Kaneki moved the cake from Hide’s hands and hugged him close. 

“Of course not Hide…Thank you so much.” He whispered softly, nuzzling the taller boy’s shoulder. 

Hide blinked a few times in confusion before smiling gently and hugged him back, a warm and secure hug that he knew Kaneki loved and needed.

“You’re welcome Ken.” He said softly, caressing his back gently. This warm human was the one to keep him going and he couldn’t be happier about that fact. 

Hide sang happy birthday to Kaneki and Kaneki blew out his candles with only the wish that he and Hide could stay together. 

They ate their cake and Kaneki read his cards, smiling and even laughing at the sweet words inside of them. They cleaned up after, saving the streamers and banners and cards, hiding them in Kaneki’s closet beside Mai. 

They curled up on the bed, calming down from a fit of laughter after Hide told Kaneki a story about how he got stuck up in the neighbor’s tree trying to save a cat and Kaneki rubbed his eyes. 

“Haaah…Hide you’ve got to be more careful.”

“Cats are the ones who need to be more careful. I don’t even know how it got up there it was so fat!”

“Cats are mysteries to this world Hide.”

“But they’re so cute though.” 

Kaneki giggled softly and sighed, resting his head on Hide’s chest while Hide held him gently. Cuddling was a perfect ending to a day like this. 

He looked up at Hide who was smiling to himself and leaned up to kiss his cheek gently. A spark of the moment thing but he wanted to show his gratitude to the boy for all this kindness. 

Hide blinked, blushing a tad at that and he looked down at Kaneki. 

“Kaneki?” he asked softly, his eyes widening when Kaneki moved close again, cupping his cheek and pressing their lips together in a soft and timid but sweet kiss. 

He didn’t know how to react. He’d seen kisses before and read about them but he’d only received them from Mai. 

Still, he couldn’t let him do this alone. He moved his head just a tad to kiss back, closing his eyes as he enjoyed the gentle and loving contact. Kaneki’s lips were so soft. So very soft and sweet. 

They kissed for no longer than a few seconds but it felt like forever. Kaneki pulled back before Hide did, his cheeks aflame with embarrassment despite his shy smile. 

Then fear over took him. 

Oh god, would Hide judge him now? Would he hate him? Would he think he was weird now? The airy bubbly feeling in his belly felt more like a rolling boil in his gut while Hide collected himself. 

“H-hide?” he squeaked and Hide turned his deep brown eyes to him, looking a little taken aback. 

Hide tilted his head a bit and pouted a bit. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked softly and Kaneki shook his head. 

“You aren’t mad?” he mumbled, messing with a missed stitch on Hide’s shirt and Hide smiled a little, pushing his brows together. 

“Why would I be mad? It’s only natural to kiss the people you care about right?” he asked and pulled Kaneki’s forehead closer so he could push his hair back and kiss the warm smooth skin gently. 

Kaneki blushed deeper and hid his face in Hide’s chest. “You’re too sweet Hide.” He mumbled 

Hide patted his head, petting his hair gently while looking up at the ceiling. 

“Just sweet enough Ken.” He chuckled softly. 

They rested for a bit, Hide sleeping while Kaneki read his book, stirring when Aya came home with Yuuichi. Hide sighed softly and sat up after Kaneki did. 

“I suppose that mean’s I’ve got to go to the toy room.” He muttered softly and Kaneki pouted before nodding.

“Looks like it…I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked softly and Hide cupped his cheeks to kiss him again. A sweet chaste kiss. 

“And every day after that.” He winked before climbing off the bed and walking quietly to the door. 

“Happy birthday Ken.” He repeated with a gentle smile to him, turning away before the boy could see his deep red cheeks as he left with a wide grin on his face. 

Kaneki watched him go and he touched his lips, looking down before grinning to himself, letting his face fall into his hands from embarrassment. 

“Oh goodness…” He giggled, lying down happily. 

Best day by far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, Things came up! I hope you enjoy the new chapter! THank you for all your support!! Please don't hate me!


	4. Winter Celebration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a merry christmas in the Asaoka household. Kaneki and HIde find time to enjoy it with someone they truly love.

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,  
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

It was a cool and fresh Christmas morning, the sun shined through the clouds onto the fresh blanket of snow. The wind blew through the trees, knocking off the last of the stubborn leaves which had yet to fall in autumn.

Kaneki and Hide were the first ones up on this beautiful Saturday morning, making sure that the coffee was made and everything was clean for Yuuichi to open his presents. 

Aya had already told both of them to not expect presents and Kaneki had prepared himself for that. He didn’t really care either way, just so long as he got to spend the day with Hide. 

So, Kaneki and Hide went around cleaning everything, lightly dusting the decorations and ordering some fried chicken for dinner. 

“You think a fifty piece will be enough?” Kankei asked softly while setting the phone down. He looked to Hide and snorted softly at his appearance. 

Yuuichi had gotten Hide a god awful Christmas sweater that was way too big on him and a dark green with Santa faces all over it. The collar and the edges of the sleeves were covered in red sequins and the bottom had little bells attached by strings.

The whole thing was a mess, but he had ordered Hide to wear it, along with a stupid santa hat all day. 

Hide frowned, looking up at him. 

“What are you laughing at? Aya got you a matching one.” He said, though Kaneki couldn’t take him seriously when he talked. The puffball had two bells attached so every movement Hide gave, he jingled. 

Kaneki giggled softly. 

“Aunt Aya has some taste.” He replied, knowing Hide’s outfit was indeed the worse of the two. 

Hide puffed his cheeks in a pout before sighing. 

“A fifty piece is probably fine. That’s the biggest one they have, isn’t it?” he asked. 

Kaneki nodded, sitting down to quickly eat some cereal before the family woke up. Hide joined him, pulling the hat off his head. He watched Kaneki eat, noticing him looking over at the presents under the tree. 

“You wanted some gifts, didn’t you?” he asked softly, resting his head on the table while looking over the other. 

Kaneki blinked, looking to his friend with wide eyes. Hide smiled at him, finding the expression cute. 

“Uh, What makes you think that? I don’t care either way…” he murmured softly, rubbing his chin while looking down. Hide gave him a dubious look while looking over to the pile of beautifully wrapped presents. 

“Every kid wants something for Christmas, Kaneki.” He said quietly while sitting up. He heard the alarm going off and he frowned a bit. Kaneki wasn’t finished eating. 

“Better hurry up.” Hide murmured softly while going to kiss his forehead gently. “I’ll be in the living room, pretending to be useful.” He said with a wink before walking off to the living room and sitting down on the couch. He posed in a very proper fashion; legs crossed and his hands folded in his lap. He smiled to Kaneki one last time before closing his eyes, a gentle smile on his face. 

Kaneki watched him for a short moment, smiling just a bit. God Hide was growing up so beautiful. Even in that stupid sweater, he looked amazing. 

His face was losing the baby roundness, though his eyes were still gentle and kind and full of wonder like a child’s. His lips were full and beautiful and he was such a good kisser already…His hair was getting a tad long again; he’d have to cut it. 

He’d grown taller again as well, He was afraid Hide was gonna grow to be bigger than him in the future. Apparently hybrid children can be programmed to grow a certain height, but he didn’t know what Hide’s old master had decided for him. Hide didn’t remember either. 

Either way, Hide was growing up beautifully and Kaneki was utterly proud that he could keep Hide alive and well, even in this place. He was happy that he could give the boy all the love he needed to survive. 

Kaneki finished his cereal and quickly washed out the bowl before quickly (And quietly) walking upstairs to get Hide in his room until they needed him.   
He heard them shuffling around upstairs before Yuuichi’s door opened and the house really woke up. There was yelling coming from Yuuichi as he bounded downstairs to go open his presents and undoubtedly bother Hide for sitting there. Aya went downstairs to join her family soon after her husband did. 

Half an hour passed by with Christmas carols filling the house and the smell of coffee wafting upstairs as his uncle came up to get changed for work. After changing, his uncle walked in and told Kaneki to go downstairs to clean up. 

Kaneki nodded, just wanting to go see Hide. He ran downstairs with a small, duteous smile, his shoulders falling as he looked over the carnage that was gift unwrapping.

Hide was still sitting on the couch, but he was awake with the stupid hat back on his head while he watched the TV. There was wrapping paper and bows everywhere, crumpled and torn in piles where Yuuichi had made his way around the tree. Hide looked up at Kaneki, the same empty smile on his face which was always reserved for Aya and her devil of a son. 

Kaneki hated seeing that smile on his face. He knew the real smile Hide could have. He had seen the wide grin that could brighten a whole room. He loved seeing it. He loved seeing happiness in Hide’s eyes. It meant he was doing his job correctly and furthermore, it meant that Hide was doing okay. 

This smile…this smile was just sad. His eyes were cold and his face looked like that of an old doll. Beautiful and delicate, but fake. He hated it so much. He knew why Hide did it however. 

If Aya or Yuuichi knew that Hide could feel, they would take that away too. They’d make him even more miserable than they were now. He couldn’t let that happen. 

Hide nodded to Kaneki before looking to Aya. 

“Mrs. Aya?” he asked softly. 

Aya looked up from her book, frowning a bit. 

“What?” she asked dryly. 

Hide kept the same pleasant smile as always. 

“Shall Ken and I clean up here? When we finish, may we go for a walk for a bit? It is Christmas.” He said softly. 

Aya frowned and looked to the both of them, turning her nose up a tad. 

“Do whatever you want, finish your chores first.” She huffed. 

Kaneki bit his lip. 

“U-um, Ma’am, we did finish our chores. This morning.” He said and she frowned at him and stood, pouring her coffee on the floor. Both Hide and Kaneki looked on in confusion. 

She took a quick breath and smiled to Kaneki. “Oh no dear, look what you’ve done.” She said with a smirk. “I want this mess cleaned up by the time I come downstairs or it’s the closet for the trash.” She said and both of the boys stiffened. 

“Y-Yes Ma’am!” Kaneki said quickly and ran quickly into the kitchen to get the mop and started cleaning quickly. Aya huffed in amusement before walking off upstairs to get ready for work herself.

Hide watched Kaneki scrub the floor, frowning sadly before getting up and moving to pick up the paper, shoving it into the pre-planted trash bag he had been sitting on. 

“I’m sorry Ken.” He said softly. 

Kaneki frowned a bit but didn’t stop his cleaning. This needed to be finished.

“Sorry for what?” 

“Sorry I’m such a burden. I don’t like being some…thing that can be taken away from you. I’ll try better.” 

Kaneki paused and looked up at Hide. The teen was standing there, holding his arm with a guilty look on his face while he held the trash bag tightly. Kaneki frowned worriedly at him and he moved from the floor to hug him gently from behind. 

“Stop that thinking right now. None of this is your fault.” He said quietly, nuzzling his shoulder gently. Hide frowned and touched his hand gently, smiling just a little bit. 

“It’s not yours either.” 

Kaneki furrowed his eyebrows a bit at that. 

“Hide, I-“

“It’s never been your fault Ken. Never. Stop taking everything onto yourself. You’ve always had a habit of that.” 

Hide turned to smile at Kaneki and hug him gently, closing his eyes as he ran his hand gently through Kaneki’s hair. 

“Let me do my job for once.” He said, pulling back to smile at the other and caressing his cheek gently. “I’m here to make you happy. Nothing more.”

Kankei frowned at him and resigned to lean his cheek into Hide’s hand. Hide had such lovely hands. 

“We need to finish our chores.” He muttered softly. 

Hide sighed quietly and pulled away as Kaneki walked over to keep scrubbing the floor.

They were putting the cleaning utensils away just as Aya walked downstairs with Yuuichi, who had gotten ready to go to a friends’ house and Aya quietly inspected the floor. It was pristine, per the usual. 

She huffed softly, not bothering to look in Kaneki’s direction. 

“Go where you want, be home before dark.” She said curtly before walking out with her son. 

Kaneki smiled softly and nodded, smiling to Hide. 

“Get ready, I’ll make us a picnic.” He smiled. Hide nodded to him smiling lightly before leaning to kiss his cheek. 

“Be back in a second.” He grinned before trotting off to get his winter clothes. He didn’t need them however; his body had special system to regulate his temperature at all times to make sure his body worked at optimal levels. He had often been Kaneki’s personal space heater and cooler in the summer and winter months. 

He pulled on his coat and beanie, frowning a tad when he noticed the small wooden box sitting in the corner. He thought about it for a second before picking her up and carried her downstairs, smiling gently. 

“Long time no see Mai.” He murmured softly, trotting into the kitchen with a warm smile on his face. He sat Mai onto the table and moved to hug Kaneki from behind and kiss his cheek. 

“We should bring your mom along.” He offered when Kaneki turned around. 

Kaneki’s brow furrowed and he looked to the small wooden box on the table.

“Hide…I-“

“Christmas is about being with family and loved ones isn’t it? I think it’s fitting.” Hide defended, touching Kaneki’s cheek gently. “Mai should be with us too.” He said softly, looking to the small box with a warm smile on his face. 

Kaneki watched Hide for a moment, watching as Hide’s eyes traced over the edges of the box, focusing and refocusing slightly. He frowned to himself, twisting the hem of his shirt beneath his fingertips before he sighed and picked her up gently in his hands. 

“Alright.” He agreed quietly, and Hide rumpled his dark hair with a smile. 

“Then it’s settled. Get your coat, and don’t forget mittens. You nearly got frost bite shoveling the driveway yesterday.” He teased.

Kaneki scoffed. “I did not. They just went numb is all.”

“For, like, an hour Kaneki. Put on some mittens.”

Kaneki sighed and did as he was told, slipping some dark colored mittens onto his hands and pulled on a hat to keep his head and ears warm. He ran cold now a days and Hide was ever vigilant in his wellness.

They headed out, Kaneki holding Mai close to his chest with one hand while Hide held his other free hand. They walked out of the well-kept and snowed over suburb, passing by younger children playing in the white slush, trying to make snowmen out of the too wet snow. Adults were shoveling and salting their driveways, grumbling quietly as they cleared a path and ensured safety for themselves from the dangers of ice.

Hide greeted many of them with a smiling face, getting cheerful waves back. One woman even offered to let Kaneki and himself inside for some hot cocoa but Hide kindly refused, knowing Kaneki didn’t like strangers. 

They made their way out to the streets, getting on a bus so they could travel to the city and enjoy some time to themselves, frequenting a few shops. Kaneki looked through a few used book stores, looking through his measly earnings of the on and off “allowance” his uncle gave him for doing chores when in reality it was the tips they didn’t give to servers when they went out to eat. 

Kaneki pouted at his wallet, watching the metaphorical moth fly up and away from it and Hide laughed quietly. 

“Maybe next time Ken. Come on, I think I saw something more interesting over here.” He said, secretly having already bought that book for his dear master, along with many others. 

They looked through a bunch of manga, which Hide had gotten pretty interested in since they had come to live with Yuuichi. Hide wouldn’t admit it to Yuuichi; he’d get a punishment which probably meant a few hours in the closet, but he did often tell Kaneki about all the stories he read when peeking through Yuuichi’s book shelf for more substance to his internal hard-drive.

They picked up a few sweets to share, finally ending up at the park, sitting on a bench under a sparse looking tree which had replaced it’s eaves for a few layers of heavy snow which was weighing down its branches.

Kaneki set Mai down on the bench and pulled out their packed lunches; warm rice and vegetables with a bowl on the side. He unscrewed the cap off of a thermos and poured Hide some warm canned chicken noodle soup which he had hastily warmed up before they left. 

Hide smiled lightly, pressing his palms together and thanked whomever was listening for the meal then leaned over to Kaneki and kissed his cool lips gently.   
“And thank you Kaneki for putting it all together.” He grined, loving the pretty shade of red Kaneki’s cheeks turned.   
Kaneki furrowed his brows while pouting just a bit in a self-conscious manner. 

“Hide, we’re in public.” He said, bringing some rice up to his lips and took a bite. Hide chuckled softly and leaned back, going after his soup first, wanting to eat it before it got cold. 

“So what? Christmas is the time for love and I refuse to let it go without spreading just a little of my own.” 

Kaneki eyed him, watching his eyes close as he sipped the broth from the small bowl and he swallowed his mouth full of rice. 

“Have you been feeling okay?” he asked softly, pressing his brows together. Hide’s eyes flicked to him, his eyes visibly focusing as he lowered the bowl from his mouth. 

“As okay as I can be, why?” 

“You’ve been acting strange.”

It was Hide’s turn to look confused as his lips pursed into a loose line. 

“‘Acting strange’? Strange how?” He asked and Kaneki frowned at him. 

“You’ve been acting very aloof lately. Like you’re hiding something.” He said suspiciously. 

Hide blinked and suddenly looked really worried before quickly looking away, setting his bowl down back in his bento. His eyelids lowered, his eyes focusing on the ground. 

“So you’ve found me out…” He murmured softly, refusing to look the other in the eyes. 

Kaneki’s frown only deepened and he leaned closer to the other. 

“Hide, tell me what’s wrong…”

Hide squirmed a little in his seat before looking up to the other, his face that of an embarrassed child. 

“I think I’ve…” he paused, making a face and Kaneki scooted closer to him. 

“Hide…” he murmured, seriously. 

Hide whined. “I’ve developed deeper feelings for you!” he nearly shouted, causing Kaneki and even a couple passing by to jump. 

Kaneki looked utterly shocked for a moment, both confused and appalled by what Hide shouted. 

Hide had an impish grin on his face now, laughing as Kaneki turned a deep red and sputtered a bit. 

“H-Hide! What are you shouting?!” he hissed, shoving him, causing Hide to laugh louder, a gleeful look on his face. 

“I’m just telling you that I love you.” He answered, wiping a tear from his eye. Kaneki scoffed, looking away from him as he moved to shove some more rice into his mouth. 

“I already knew that…”

“I know.”

“Are you really hiding something though?”

Hide smiled to himself, stirring the broth-less noodles around in his bowl with his spoon. 

“If I was you wouldn’t know about it until I was ready to tell you.” 

Kaneki frowned at the cryptic answer before sighing and continuing to eat, dropping the subject. 

They finished their meals and moved on to the small slice of cake they could afford, feeding each other on occasion while taking turns feeding themselves. Hide let Kaneki have the strawberry at the end and, feeling bad, Kaneki cut it in half so they could both have a bite. 

Soon, Kaneki started to shiver, cuddling Mai to his chest while Hide cuddled him to his chest. Kaneki felt so calmed by Hide’s warm body. They shared a few kisses under that sad looking tree, cuddling happily to keep warm.

They stayed huddled up against each other for a little while before Hide decided that Kaneki’s temperature had dropped a little too much for his liking and it was time to go ‘home’.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bus wasn’t very crowded as they rode home. Hide tittered, chatting to Kaneki and the bus driver cheerfully. They walked the rest of the way home; making it home before Aya and Yuuichi, so they had enough time to clean themselves and their bento’s out, and go hide Mai again after wishing her a Merry Christmas. 

Hide stayed with Kaneki in his room as Aya held a small Christmas party downstairs, both of them sitting and doodling on a few scraps of wrapping paper that Hide had swiped. 

Hide smiled to himself, blinking when he saw the time. He jolted, slapping his hands on the floor. 

“Crap!” He shouted, making Kaneki jump. 

“W-what is it?” he asked, watching Hide jump up from where he had been laying, starting to push himself up from the floor. 

Hide stopped him, holding his hand out in Kaneki’s face. 

“No! You stay here, I got something for you.” He said with a grin, bolting out of the room.   
Kaneki frowned, staring dumbfounded at the door. He sat up, blinking when Hide returned a few minutes later with a large black trash bag. 

Kaneki raised an eyebrow. “You brought more wrapping paper?” he asked, confused and flinched when Hide set the bag down and created a loud thumping noise. 

Hide grinned and pushed the bag over to the other. 

“Take a look smarty pants.” He smiled, crossing his arms proudly over his chest. 

Kaneki frowned dubiously at him before scooting over to the bag and opened it, blinking when he saw a bunch of brightly wrapped Christmas presents. A few of them looked very poorly wrapped, but Hide seemed to get better with each one. Dozens of gifts were in the bag, signed “Happy Birthday” and “Merry Christmas”. Kaneki’s eyes watered before he quickly looked up at Hide who had moved over to sit with him. 

“H-hide…how did you… you didn’t steal them did you?” he asked, figuring it was the only way Hide could have come across this many presents. Hide scoffed. 

“Excuse you. No, of course not. I’ve been saving up since like three years ago. The neighbors are good people and I figured this year was a good year to splurge on you.” He explained with a smile before moving to nudge the other. 

“Go on, open them. They don’t bite, I promise.” Hide grinned. 

Kaneki sniffled and wiped his tears, smiling happily before nodding and having at it, torn between wanting to save the wrapping paper and open the presents as quickly as possible. 

He decided on the former, much to Hide’s dismay and neatly unwrapped each gift. With each gift, the warmth in his belly swelled and he felt his tears coming back as soon as all the gifts were unwrapped. Most of them were books from various authors that Kaneki adored. Others were sketch books, ones with nice tough spines and smooth paper, and a bunch of artists pencils and assorted erasers. Kaneki eyed those for a bit. 

Hide rubbed the back of his head for a bit. 

“W-well, you’re a very good artist…I figured you should pursue it in your spare time.” He said quietly and earned a hug from Kaneki, the boy’s warm face nuzzling into the crook of his shoulder. 

“Hide…I have no idea how to think you for all of this…This is just…” he whimpered, sniffling as the warm arms wrapped themselves around him, a gentle hand gently ruffling though his hair. 

Hide sighed affectionately, leaning his head against Kaneki’s as he pet his hair. 

“Merry Christmas Ken.” He said softly, ready to give one of his signature Hide™ grins when Kaneki surprised him with a deep, loving kiss on the lips. Hide’s eyes widened at the passionate kiss, allowing it to happen but being very confused about it. He relaxed under the other as Kaneki worked their lips together, holding Hide close as he let his passion out with the other. 

When Kaneki pulled back, Hide was pleasantly dazed and confused but not regretful. 

“What was that for?” he asked as Kaneki pressed their foreheads together. Kaneki smiled softly. 

“Merry Christmas Hide.” He smiled. 

They spent the rest of the evening together, sorting the books and art things, hiding them away so Aya and Yuuichi couldn’t find and destroy them. They cuddled for a little while after that, simply waiting for Aya to call Kaneki down to clean up after her dumb party. 

Until that happened, they enjoyed their warmth together, Kaneki listening to Hide talk about another one of the manga he’d read, sharing sweet kisses here and there. Kaneki sighed contently after a bit, making Hide pause to look down at him. 

“You okay?” he asked. Kaneki nodded quietly, listening to Hide’s artificial heartbeat and breathing. 

“I’m more than alright. I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy since mother passed away.” He cooed softly and Hide happily nuzzled into his hair, cuddling him close with a giggle. 

“You’re too cute for your own good Kaneki!” he grinned and Kaneki squirmed with a laugh. 

“Oi~! Hush, Aunt Aya might hear.” He said, unable to stop himself from giggling either. Hide smiled and nuzzled him again, sighing and relaxing when they heard Aya yell for them from downstairs. 

“Aaaand there it is.” Hide muttered, rolling his eyes. Kaneki sighed softly. 

“With any luck, she’ll make us clean and then let us sleep.” He said as he stood, dusting himself off. Hide nodded in agreement, standing up with him go answer Aya. 

Praise be, all she wanted was for them to quiet down and clean up after the party. She was drunk, and too lethargic to make their lives a living hell tonight and so Hide helped Kaneki clean up after Aya went to bed. It took them about an hour and soon they were upstairs again, getting ready for bed.

It was a quick and comfortable night, and one of the happiest nights of Kaneki’s life. He cuddled into Hide’s chest, feeling so secure and loved and finally got a nights rest where he didn’t feel like the world was out to get him. He fell asleep quickly, snuggling into Hide’s arms. 

Hide stayed awake for a little bit, humming softly to Kaneki and gently petting his hair. He was so happy. He was finally able to do his job and make his master happy. 

“Only a few more years Kaneki. A few more years and we can be free.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait!! College is so stressful guys. For those of you who are still with me, Hello! PLease enjoy chapter four (even though it is way too early to be writing Christmas stuff orz). I'll start work on chapter five as soon as I get a little break from homework-w-/


	5. A Curious Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few years pass and things are finally looking up for Kaneki. A new job, a new step into his and Hide's relationship, and another step closer to freedom.

The years passed quietly: winter to spring, spring to summer, and summer to autumn. Aya had turned to blatantly ignoring Kaneki and Hide as did the rest of the family. Kaneki had a feeling that they were just waiting for waiting for Kaneki to go off to college and leave their home alone. 

Kaneki couldn’t wait for that either. 

Hide was doing relatively well for himself and Kaneki, sneaking out every day to get some work in the neighborhood, having taken up newspaper delivery around the suburb. He even went so far as to visit Mr. Shinohara and his family every week now. They had a new boy living with them. He was a little odd, but they got along. Hide liked to think that he got along with everyone.

It was one day in early summer that Kaneki came running home, a grin wide on his face. Hide was working in the front yard, cleaning the garden and sweating away when Kaneki surprised him. 

“Hide! Hide, guessed what!” He wheezed out, hunching over and leaning on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. Hide pushed his sunglasses up onto his forehead and wiped some sweat from his brow as he looked up at the other. 

“Kaneki, where’s the fire? I thought you had an interview.” He said as he stood, tugging up his shorts. Kaneki held a finger up to him with a quiet pant before throwing himself up to stand straight, folding his hands behind his head. He grinned toward the blonde. 

“I did have an interview. You know that one coffee shop that we really like?” 

Hide tilted his head. 

“Antieku?” He asked curiously, removing the too small gardening gloves from his hands. 

Kaneki nodded excitedly. “Yeah! They were hiring for another waiter and I went in and asked! Mr. Yoshimura said I had a spirit he liked. I start on Monday!” he said excitedly and Hide smiled at him. 

“I’m happy for you bro! You know what, you look like you’re gonna pass out. Come inside for some water then you can tell me all about it.” He offered, taking the man’s hand and led him inside for water. He filled Kaneki’s glass up with ice and water, setting it down in front of him before plopping down on the edge of the table. 

“So tell me. What the hell happened? I thought you were gonna go try that market a few blocks away.” Hide questioned crossing his legs and leaned back, resting his weight on his hand. 

Kaneki sipped his drink, eyeing the well grown man before him, more specifically his long, slender legs. Those shorts worked well for him. He shook his head away from the thought and he looked up to meet the man’s questioning look. He cleared his throat and took a breath before starting. 

“So, I was going to go to the market, but I decided that I had the time and I wanted a coffee before I went. My nerves were getting to me I think. Anyway, I took a different route and walked to Antieku. You know how they always have that foldable chalk board out front telling people what their specials have?” he started, trying not to ramble. 

Hide’s eyes unfocused and refocused as he was questioned and he nodded. 

“Yeah, passion fruit tea was there last time we went.” He said absently. “They had a message saying they were hiring? I thought they were a family business.” He said, frowning a bit. 

Kaneki shrugged. 

“Apparently not. I actually don’t think any of them are related.” He said thoughtfully. 

Hide smiled gently, raising his eyebrows a bit over his eyes.

“Ah. So you stepped in and asked? And you said that the manager liked you?” he asked curiously, finding himself a little distracted. It had been a while since he’d seen Kaneki so animated about something. He had missed it. His mouth was so pretty when he smiled. His master was truly beautiful. 

Kaneki nodded.

“Yeah! I walked in and that girl with the purple hair in front of her eye-” 

“Touka?” 

“Yes, Hide. Touka. I asked Touka about the position and she went and called her manager over. He brought me upstairs and we talked for a while. He said that he liked how intelligent I seemed and he could tell that I would be a hard worker. I get to start on Monday.” 

Hide smiled gently. 

“I’m glad you finally got that job Mrs. Aya has been badgering you about. And you’ve wanted to work there forever right?” he asked, hopping off the table to take the now empty glass to the sink. Kaneki watched the man walk off, mumbling a soft “uh huh” as he watched the gentle sway of Hide’s hips and god that perfect ass of his had been plaguing his dreams for weeks. His Hide was perfect in every way. 

Hide smiled, placing the glass in the dishwasher. 

“Well good. I’ll have to be sure to come visit you.” He said, turning around to face the man. He noticed a little red on his generally peachy cheeks and he arched a brow. 

“You alright?” he asked a tad worriedly, walking over to the other. Kaneki straightened up, his cheeks really brightening in color and he averted his eyes. 

“Y-yeah! I’m great!” he exclaimed, his voice cracking a bit. He really needed to stop peeping on the other. It was going to get him in trouble one day. Hide arched his brow, eyeing the other. 

“You sure?” he asked.

Kaneki nodded, biting his lip. 

“I’m okay I promise.” He said with a quick nod. Hide gave a dubious nod before turning to walk out of the room. 

“Alright then. Well Mrs. Aya and Yuuichi don’t come home for a while. Do you have anything you’d like to do while we have the house to ourselves?” he asked, feeling an itching feeling in his gut. He felt the need to spend more time with Kaneki before he left him alone to go work. He wasn’t supposed to feel jealousy, but in his artificial heart he could feel the envy pounding. 

Kaneki pursed his lips. They hadn’t had the house to themselves for a while. They hadn’t had any ‘alone time’ in a really long while. He didn’t want to think about those dirty thoughts, but he just couldn’t help it. He and Hide had been officially together for about five years now and seventeen year olds had their needs. 

The problem was that Hide didn’t seem to have any interest in that kind of stuff. They had kissed numerous times before, kisses that often made Kaneki’s head spin but they never strayed farther into that part of their relationship. 

It made Kaneki wonder if Hide wanted that sort of thing at all. Could they even feel that kind of thing? He’d never heard Hide say he wanted that, nor did he ever catch Hide doing anything like that. Maybe? No…He shouldn’t. He eyed the man who was quietly smiling at him, waiting for an answer. 

Kaneki flushed deeply and looked down at the ground. 

“U-um…well this is the first time in a while that we’ve had the house to ourselves…Maybe we can kiss a little?” he suggested, slipping closer to the couch before sitting down beside him. Hide watched the man sit, feeling overly aware of his presence beside him. His hands tightened on his knees. 

“Uh, sure, if you want. I don’t mind.” He said softly, smiling at the other. He’d realized a while back that Kaneki had been looking at him differently. The longing in his eyes when they got changed in the morning, the way he would bite his lip sometimes as he watched him work around the house. He figured that was just how his master was, but when you’re dating, he guessed that Kaneki would want more from him eventually. Kaneki was growing up fast and it was interesting to watch. 

Kaneki nodded, licking his lips a little nervously. This was the first time he’d be pushing it this far. He had no idea what he was doing but he wanted to try. So he did what all virgins do and he hesitated. God he was nervous. Hide tilted his head at this and sighed softly, smiling a little. 

“You’re so cute Ken.” Hide murmured as he reached over to cup the man’s cheek and kissed him gently, sighing softly when he felt Kaneki kiss him back. That little sigh sent a shiver down Kaneki’s spine and he mewled softly, moving his own hands to gently hold Hide’s hips. He pulled Hide closer, groaning softly into the kiss. 

Hide almost immediately felt the need wafting from the other. Kaneki was the one deepening the kiss, pulling him closer even. He jumped softly as the hands on his hips moved to his thighs, kneading the tender skin gently. He stiffened a bit and Kaneki pulled back from the kiss, biting his lip worriedly. 

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked, pulling his hands away. Hide frowned and shook his head. 

“N-no, it’s not you. I’ve never been touched there before…” he said softly, scratching the back of his neck. “I’m a little nervous.” He murmured softly. Kaneki frowned a bit before sighing softly. 

“I’m nervous too…but…well, we’ve been dating for five years now...” he mumbled, pressing the tips of his index fingers together shyly. “I thought we could try something new?” he said softly, looking up at the other. 

Hide thought about it, looking down. It wasn’t that he minded getting more intimate with Kaneki, he just was a little nervous. He wanted it to be done right. He sighed quietly. Humans don’t do things perfectly. First times are messy and awkward and are meant for experimentation. 

“So you want to have sex with me?” Hide asked, wanting to clarify what Kaneki wanted. Kaneki blinked and blushed deeply. 

“N-No! I-I mean…eventually…I mean! Ugh…” he whined out before taking in a deep breath and rumpled his own hair while Hide looked on with a clearly confused face. Kaneki sighed softly. 

“I want to do more than just kiss…but I think sex is a little too far for right now.” He said quietly, averting his gaze shyly. Hide tilted his head and thought about it for a moment before nodding and moving to gently rest his hands on Kaneki’s shoulders. 

“You’re going to have to be clear with me on these things, Ken. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not a mind reader.” He said with a quiet smile as he gently pushed the man down into the couch cushions. He looked over Kaneki with a gentle smile and leaned to kiss him softly, pulling back moments later. 

“I love you, Kaneki. Don’t be afraid to ask me this stuff.” He said quietly, smiling as Kaneki hesitantly rested his hands on Hide’s shoulders, soon moving his hands into his silky blonde hair. 

“I love you too, Hide. I’m just nervous.” He confessed. ‘Nervous’ was an understatement, but in all honestly, this felt nice on its own. Hide was so warm; his gentle weight was all too carefully placed over him. He wanted to laugh knowing how careful Hide was with him. 

He blinked from his thoughts when he felt Hide press their foreheads together and he looked up, looked deep into those warm eyes of Hide’s and he felt his face burn. 

“H-Hide…” He breathed softly and Hide pursed his lips, furrowing his brow in concentration. 

“Kaneki…I’m not sure what to do.” He admitted and Kaneki laughed softly, sitting them up. Hide plopped back onto his bottom with a small frown. Kaneki shook his head. 

“If you didn’t know what you were doing then why’d you push me down like that?” he asked and Hide shifted without answering. Kaneki smiled lightly and took Hide’s hand as he stood up. 

“I wanna go upstairs. I feel exposed down here.” He said, tugging Hide’s hand gently so Hide would get up. Hide nodded, following Kaneki to the bedroom. However, when they got there, Kaneki was the one to lay him down and crawl over him. Hide blinked, looking up at him with a shy smile and Kaneki returned the expression, making the motion to push some hair behind his ear but his bangs just fell back uselessly into his face. Hide held Kaneki’s hips gently and smiled. 

“So…what first?” he asked softly, smiling up at him. Kaneki gave a small, embarrassed laugh. 

“I guess start where we left off.” He responded, and Hide nodded, closing his eyes as the man leaned in to kiss him. He tilted his head back a bit, accepting the warm and supple lips against his own. 

As they kissed, Kaneki tried new things, like turning his head a certain way, lightly nibbling Hide’s lips or gently licking over them. He gauged on what to do with Hide’s reactions, finding them both adorable and sensual. Hide soon started to try and copy what Kaneki was doing, sucking Kaneki’s full bottom lip into his mouth and licked over the smooth flesh. Kaneki shuttered and pulled back shyly, leaning in to kiss at Hide’s neck instead. Hide jolted and made a quiet noise of pleasure, causing Kaneki to stiffen. 

In previous attempts to get deeper into their physical relationship, Hide was always the one to pull away first. ‘We’re not old enough for this sort of thing’, he would say. So now, he was a tad bit worried for Hide to stop them from going any farther. Reflexively, he started to pull back when Hide’s hands gripped at the back of his shirt. 

“What are you doing?” Hide asked, looking very slightly dazed. His eyes were having slight trouble focusing like they always did. Kaneki looked over Hide’s slightly flushed form and he smiled shyly. He nodded a few times before leaning back in to kiss at his sensitive neck, trying to gauge Hide’s reactions as good or bad. Hide had moved his hand over his mouth, not wanting to make too many embarrassing noises but that was hard with Kaneki teasing him like he was. 

Kaneki licked Hide’s prominent collarbone and he bit his lip lightly, sliding his hand up Hide’s thigh, causing him to twitch. 

“I’m gonna move your legs, okay?” he asked softly, and Hide nodded, opening his legs as Kaneki pushed to get between them. He exhaled shakily as the heat of their groins pressed against one another. Kaneki hummed quietly in pleasure, leaning in to continue to kiss the man lovingly, slowly frotting against Hide. Their moans mingled, both of them swallowing each other’s sighs of pleasure.

Hide pulled away from the kiss with a soft grunt, gripping Kaneki’s shirt as he let the man continue, panting softly into his shoulder. In his time of being alive, he hadn’t once touched himself in this way, but it felt so nice. All his pleasure sensors were going off and it was a bit overwhelming, but he liked it. He moaned out Kaneki’s name and Kaneki shuttered slightly. He looked down at Hide and Hide looked up at him, his eyes very unfocused, his pupils blown. His lips were parted and slightly swollen, a slight sheen to them from where their saliva had mingled on his lips. His eyebrows were turned up and pressed together in a very cute, needy expression. He blushed deeply at the sight of his best friend and lover looking so undone.

Kaneki moved his hand and slid it down to hold low on Hide’s hip, his thumb rubbing small circles on the v of Hide’s hips. 

“Is it okay if I touch you here?” he asked, implying something more. He would be mortified if he did anything Hide didn’t want. Hide shuttered a little before nodding. 

“Yeah. It’s alright. I mean, we wanted to experiment more, right?” he asked a little breathlessly. 

Kaneki blushed at his response and he nodded, moving his hands over Hide’s belt to undo it. Come to think of it, he’d never seen Hide completely naked. He’d had a few ideas of what he looked like, but…

Kaneki shook his head to try and steel himself, noticing that he had been shaking, and he started to slip the leather from under the buckle. It was a lot harder than it looked. He sighed when he finally got it off, flushing deeper when Hide chuckled at him. 

“S-shut up I’m doing my best.” He snapped and Hide covered his grinning mouth.

“Sorry Ken.” 

“Humph.” He scoffed softly before getting on with it. He unbuttoned and unzipped Hide’s shorts, pursing his lips at the sight of the man’s underwear. The slight bulge beneath the fabric was uninviting to say the least. He’d never touched anyone else but himself. He took a deep breath, running his fingers gently over the warm bulge, coaxing a soft sound from Hide in the process. 

Kaneki looked up to Hide, gulping quietly. Hide had propped himself up on his right elbow and was biting his lip to stay quiet. Kaneki smiled timidly at him before continuing to fondle Hide’s package. After a while, he moved to slide Hide’s underwear out of the way, blinking at the sight of his cock. It was slightly hard, and was of modest size with stiff hairs leading in a neat line from the bottom of his belly down, fluffing just a bit. It was a tad darker than his normal hair. It was a little bigger than his own and that annoyed him just a bit, but that was okay. 

Hide shuttered at the cool air on his length and he looked up at Kaneki who pulled away to undo his own pants. He blushed deeper, watching Kaneki lower his pants and come back between his legs. This felt so intimate…Kaneki pressed against Hide again, this time reaching to hold both of their cocks together. The warmth and friction of skin on ‘skin’ was certainly much better than dry humping through clothing. Kaneki started to move his hips slowly, causing both of them to groan in pleasure. Hide rested his body back, laying his head on a pillow with a soft moan while Kaneki bit his lip to quiet himself. 

“I-is this okay?” Kaneki breathed out, squeezing them tighter. Hide’s back arched. 

“Y-yeah…” 

“You sure?” he asked softly, rolling his hips a little faster, letting out a soft grunt as he did so. Hide gripped Kaneki’s sleeve gently as Kaneki’s pace steadily grew. 

“Positive…” he breathed softly, blinking when Kaneki moved his legs over his shoulders. 

“I saw this once in a book…I wanna try it.” Kaneki murmured softly, noticing Hide’s confused look. Kaneki smiled.

“You trust me right?” he asked softly. Hide nodded, watching Kaneki do his thing. Hide adjusted his legs over Kaneki’s shoulder, biting his lip shyly. He couldn’t quite see what Kaneki was doing past his thighs. 

Kaneki bit his lip as he gripped his shaft, slowly pushing between the small gap between Hide’s thighs and slid right over his balls and against his length. Both of them let out a long moan. 

“K-Kaneki-“

“Hide…could you close your legs a little tight- ngh…y-yeah like that.” Kaneki breathed holding Hide’s beautiful legs close to his chest as he continued to move his hips. Hide could feel his body becoming more and more unraveled the more Kaneki moved. He could feel shock upon shock going up his spine and he shuttered, his thighs twitching. He breathed out Kaneki’s name, reaching over shakily to grip their lengths, making sure that they stayed relatively covered. It felt heavenly. 

“K-Kaneki, it, ah! I-I…” he breathed out, his fingers tangling in the sheets. He felt wetness against his thighs and in his hand. He noticed the more focused Kaneki looked, the wetter his hand became. He squeezed and Kaneki exhaled sharply. 

“I-I know…me too.” He panted out. Hide rested back, pressing his head in the pillow. He closed his eyes as his body rocked gently, letting the pleasure overtake him before he gasped sharply. His hips jolted as he came, milky artificial fluid spurting out onto his belly and coating his hand. A few seconds later, Kaneki came as well, getting it all over the insides of Hide’s thighs. He let out a tiny groan, resting his cheek against Hide’s knees with a quiet pant before separating them and leaning in between to kiss Hide lovingly. 

Hide groaned softly into the kiss, having Kaneki so close was a little overwhelming but he loved it. He let out a small sigh when Kaneki pulled back and he gave a soft laugh. 

“That was…I don’t even know.” He said with a tired smile. Kaneki returned the expression, laughing back as he laid down beside Hide. 

“I’m glad you liked it. So…Experimenting is good?” he asked softly, taking Hide’s clean hand. Hide smiled softly and nodded. 

“Everything is good when it’s with you.” Hide mused, leaning to lightly kiss Kaneki’s lips gently. “Don’t worry so much alright?” he murmured, caressing his cheek with his clean hand. Kaneki leaned into the warm fingers, smiling just a little. 

“I’m glad.” He said softly; glad to have someone like Hide by his side.

They rested together for a long while, having cleaned themselves up and cuddled up with very little clothing on under a fan, relaxing on the bed with their fingers lazily intertwined with one another. Aya and Yuuichi came home about an hour later. Hide and Kaneki had quickly showered and Kaneki was cooking dinner while Hide was cleaning up in the kitchen. They were ignored like always and were sent upstairs when Kaneki finished making dinner, or rather sent Hide up to the bedroom. They kept Kaneki downstairs in the spotlight of the two. 

“So, Ken. How did your interview go?” Aya asked softly, crossing her legs and arms, leaning back in her seat as she looked down on Kaneki. Kaneki bit his lip before looking down. 

“I…I didn’t go to the one at the market.” Kaneki started timidly. He winced at Aya’s change in expression. Her eyebrows raised slightly and her lips pursed just a tad. 

“Oh? And why on earth not?” she asked, adjusting her seat just a bit. Kaneki bit his lip. 

“I-I saw a different place to work…A better place.” He answered timidly. 

“Where?” 

Kaneki pursed his lips. He really didn’t want her to follow him to work like he knew she would. Aya snapped her fingers at him. 

“Answer me when I’m talking to you, brat.” She snapped and Kaneki made a face. 

“Antieku Café.” He responded and she furrowed her brow before huffing. 

“Do they pay well?” she asked and Kaneki frowned. He wasn’t going to be her money hound like his mother was. 

“W-well enough.” He responded.   
Aya sucked her teeth in thought before giving a quick nod and stood. Kaneki watched her while she dusted off her skirt. 

“Get out of my sight.” She said and Kaneki didn’t hesitate to get up and scurry away, climbing the steps two at a time. When he entered the bedroom, Hide was quickly flipping through a book, his eyes glowing a dull yellow. Hide looked up and smiled, his eyes dimming and going back to normal as he set the book down. 

“Hey, Ken. How did it go?” he asked, scooting over on the bed so Kaneki could join him. Kaneki took his place, resting his head against Hide’s chest. 

“It went as well as you can expect. She wasn’t as mad as I thought she would be.” He said softly, smiling just a little bit as Hide started to pet his hair. 

“This is good…Did you tell her about your test scores?” he asked and Kaneki snorted. 

“Hell no. I don’t want her or anyone in this family knowing where I’m going when I can leave.” He responded, not wanting Aya to be able to find him and guilt him into giving her money. He knew she could do it too. 

Hide laughed softly and nodded. 

“Sounds good. And with the money you’ll be earning and the money I’ve been saving we should be able to get a nice dorm. Think they allow Hybrid children into college?” he asked and Kaneki laughed softly. 

“I doubt it, Hide.” 

“But why, I’m smart enough for it aren’t I?” Hide gave a faux pout and Kaneki kissed his pouting lips lightly. 

“You’re also not human Hide. And anything you could learn there, I can teach you.” He explained, looking up at him. 

Hide sighed, resting his head back against the pillows. 

“I guess…” he mumbled softly. Kaneki frowned a little before moving to loom over him. 

“Something wrong?” he asked softly, tilting his head. Hide pursed his lips before puffing his cheeks at him. 

“It’s nothing. I’m happy for you Ken.” He said softly, smiling up at him. Kaneki eyed him suspiciously. Hide groaned. 

“Kaneki, it’s fiiine just lay down.” He whined, tugging at his shoulders, which made Kaneki’s arms buckle and he flopped down with a soft grunt. Kaneki furrowed his brow before sighing. 

“I guess you’ll tell me eventually.” He said softly, resting back onto Hide’s chest. He hated it when Hide hid things from him, but he wasn’t about to pry it out of him either. 

“Kaneki?” Hide asked after a bit. 

“Yes Hide?” Kaneki asked, sounding like he had been half asleep. He most certainly was. 

Hide bit his lip. 

“How long will you be away when you go to work?” he asked softly. Kaneki tilted his head. 

“From nine to about six thirty…Why?” he asked. Hide frowned a bit before shaking his head and smiled. 

“I-I’m glad. You need to get out of the house more.” He murmured softly, looking towards the wall so Kaneki couldn’t meet his gaze. Kaneki frowned up at him before pinching his nose. 

“Hide what’s wrong? You’re acting weird.” He muttered, shaking Hide’s head a bit. Hide snorted out and took hold of Kaneki’s hand before sighing deeply. 

“I’m gonna miss you is all.” He said softly. Kaneki blinked and his face softened from slight annoyance to worry and understanding. He released Hide’s nose and sat up. Hide made a face, not meeting Kaneki’s gaze. He really hated being selfish when it came to Kaneki but he simply couldn’t help it. He loved the man more than he could ever fully describe. 

“Hide…I’m sorry…I could ask Mr. Yoshimura if-.” He was stopped by Hide hugging him close. 

“Kaneki, no. You really wanted to work there and I won’t take that away from you, especially when we’re this close to leaving this hell hole of a place. It’s just, you’ve never been away for so long during the day. I’m gonna miss you, but I’m sure I’ll get used to it.” He vowed honestly, pressing their foreheads together gently. Kaneki flushed ever so slightly and he sighed, touching the warm hand on his cheek. 

“You’re so dumb sometimes.” He mumbled and he nuzzled their foreheads together. “But I love you anyway.” He said. Hide pouted at him. 

“You’re so mean!”

“Only when I have to be Hide.” He laughed softly and Hide sighed. 

“You’re a jerk.” He smiled, and sighed softly. “I love you so much.” He murmured softy, kissing the soft curve of his jaw. Kaneki laughed softly. 

“I love you too Hide. And you’ve got nothing to worry about. So please go to sleep.” He said softly, cupping his cheek to lightly kiss his lips. 

Hide smiled softly and nodded, laying back down and hugged Kaneki close. 

“Night Kaneki.” He sighed. 

“Night Hide.” 

Kaneki fell asleep rather easily, holding onto Hide who was up till the early hours of the morning, thinking to himself. 

Kaneki was up early on Monday morning getting ready to go to work. Hide took on Kaneki’s chores so he didn’t have to worry about Aya getting on his back about it. 

In the middle of the day while Aya was working at home, Hide snuck out to go visit Kaneki at Antieku, excited to be out of the house. He jogged along, waving to the neighbors as he made his way out of the gated community and moved on into town. 

“Welcome to Antieku!” A cheerful greeting was given as the bell rang, signifying a new customer. Hide panted quietly, a smile on his face as he entered. A raven haired woman and a larger man with an odd looking but perfectly styled pompadour stood behind the counter while a violet haired girl walked around briskly, carrying a platter with fresh coffee and a few cups, as well as a small cake in the middle. She smiled quickly at him before continuing to tend to her tables. The whole building smelled of coffee and cinnamon, along with cream and sugar. It was a very homey smell, something Hide and Kaneki had enjoyed about the place. 

Kaneki came out from the back, tucking his notepad into the pocket of his apron. Hide couldn’t help but think he looked adorable in his uniform. The violet haired woman nudged him and murmured something to him before Kaneki nodded and looked up. He blinked seeing Hide and his smiled brightened. 

“Hide! What are you doing here?” he asked, hurrying over to him with a smile. Hide let out a quick breath and folded his hands behind his head. 

“I came to visit you.” He smiled. Kaneki smiled and was about to continue talking to him when the violet haired woman called to him and then gave him a look. Kaneki gave her a sheepish smile before nodding to Hide. 

“Come on, Touka says I need to seat you.” He said, leading Hide to a nice and unused table by the window. 

“Kaneki I-” Hide started but was interrupted by a man calling from the other side of the café.

“Waiter? Where’s my refill?”

“Um, hold that thought.” He said softly to Hide before putting on a smile. “I’ll be right with you sir!” he called before hurrying off to get said refill. Hide gave him a smile before waving to him, watching him go. He sighed softly before looking out onto the street, resting his head on his hand. Today was a beautiful day…so why did he feel so left out? He sighed softly, looking up when he heard footsteps coming toward him. 

Who he saw wasn’t Kaneki but the violet haired girl. She looked slightly melancholy, her hair falling over her right eye and her lips in a seemingly permanent pout. Her eyes were a very beautiful shade of mauve. She was rather cute. Beautiful even. She flinched when he looked at her and his smile faltered a bit. 

“You’re one of those Hybrid Children aren’t you?” she asked softly. 

Hide watched her lips as she talked. Perfectly straight teeth too. His eyes flicked back up to her eyes once her lips stilled and he gave a small nod. 

“Yeah, why?” he asked, sitting up. She frowned. 

“You’re an old model too huh?” she questioned. 

Hide furrowed his brows. Why was she asking this of him? 

“Yeah…Why?” he repeated.

Touka leaned back a tad when he moved. “You look like one. It’s the eyes.” She explained. “They’re weird.” 

Hide frowned, his eyes focusing and unfocusing. She made a face. 

“I’m sorry they bother you?” Hide said, not liking all this questioning. 

Touka shook her head, placing a hand on her hip. She had pretty hips too. 

“They don’t bother me.” She said sternly. “I was asking because I have one too, but she’s not like you.” She continued, having saved up to get one herself. After her brother had left, she was craving a friend. 

Hide eyed her curiously. 

“What do you mean?” he asked. She thought about it. 

“She acts…like a robot.” She explained. “She’s responsive and all but I don’t feel like she’s really responding.”

Hide tilted his head. “Have you asked her about it?” he asked. Touka stiffened. 

“That! That right there. You actually seem to understand and respond.” She said. Hide jumped a bit. 

“I-I mean, I’m about ten so…I’ve been around longer? I don’t know what to tell you other than talk to her.” He murmured. 

Touka frowned and looked down. “I guess so.” She mumbled softly. 

Hide pushed his eyebrows together before offering his hand. 

“I’m Hide, by the way.” He said. She stared at his hand before taking it suspiciously in her own and gave it a small shake. Her grip was firm however. 

“I know. My name’s Touka.” 

“I know.” He responded with a smile as Kaneki paced over with Hide’s favourite kind of coffee on a platter. 

“Getting acquainted?” he asked pleasantly. She made a face at him before walking off to continue her work. Hide frowned at her and looked up at him. 

“What’s her deal?” he asked, picking up his drink and blew on it gently. Kaneki stared at his lips for a moment before shaking his head and sighing. 

“I bumped into her and accidentally spilled everything on her tray. She’s kind of upset at me.” He said quietly. “Is the coffee okay?” he asked. 

Hide smiled and nodded. “Perfect.” He said with a nod. Kaneki smiled brightly. 

“Perfect! A-alright, um….would you like some pastries? Or cakes?” he asked. Hide nodded. 

“Sure. A slice of lemon pound cake please.” He responded. ‘Anything to keep you by my side.’ He thought unapologetically. Kaneki wrote down the order before smiling. 

“Alright, be right back.” He said cheerfully before going to get Hide and all other people he was serving their food. 

Hide must have spent upwards of forty dollars in that café just trying to get Kaneki to stay with him. He knew Kaneki couldn’t stay with him the entire day, but every time he saw his smiling face, it made his day feel all the better. 

Kaneki stayed after to close up and clean up, having to send Hide out to wait for him. Kaneki trotted out, folding his apron and he smile at Hide. 

“Sorry for making you wait so long.” He apologized and Hide waved him off. 

“Don’t worry about it man. Let’s just get home. It’s getting chilly.” He said, only wearing a t-shirt and shorts when it was about 10°C (50°F) outside. 

Kaneki smiled softly and nodded, walking with the man happily. He was exhausted from work but it was a pleasant soreness. Walking home with Hide by his side made it even better. 

They returned home, and Hide frowned, noticing the trash bucket sitting out on the sidewalk. It wasn’t trash day yet. He eyed it suspiciously before moving to look inside. He flipped the lid, blinking at the sight. All of Kaneki’s books. Every last one of them, even a few of Hide’s own books had been thrown in the garbage and on the very top was a slightly damaged, all too familiar brown wooden box. 

Hide could feel his electric heart stop as his eyes teared up. Kaneki frowned at him, having kept walking a few feet. 

“Hide? What’s wrong?” He asked, frowning when he saw anger flash on Hide’s face. Real anger. Something Kaneki had never seen on Hide’s face. Hide reached in to pick Mai out of the garbage, holding her to his chest as he walked past Kaneki and up into the house.

Aya was sitting on the couch, reading one of her bad romance novels when Hide walked in. She looked up at him and was about to say something snarky about Hide’s shoes when she saw his face and what was in his arms. 

“Oh! I see you’ve gone garbage digging. Good for you.” She said calmly. Hide frowned angrily at her. 

“How could you.” He growled at her. 

Aya put on a face of innocence. “What? I just did Ken a favour and cleaned out his room.” 

“You threw away his mother!” Hide snapped at her. Kaneki had rushed in after Hide, his eyes wide when he saw what Hide had pulled out of the garbage. He immediately ran upstairs to see what had happened. Hide stayed there with Aya. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?! She died because of you! She died because enough was never enough for you! And you throw her away… What the hell is wrong with you?” he asked, his voice breaking just a bit. 

Aya laughed. “That’s just a box of ashes. Who cares abo-“

“I do!” Hide shouted at her. She didn’t flinch. 

“And who are you? A bucket of bolts that a useless seventeen year old takes care of.”

Hide stiffened at that and he grit his teeth. 

“Get his books out of the garbage. Now.” Hide demanded. 

Aya snorted. “And why on earth would I do that? I’ll get this blouse dirty.” She said, flipping the page in her book. 

Hide glowered at her. “You get his books out of the trash, or I’ll tell everyone in the town what you’ve done to him and me for the entire time we’ve been here.” He threatened. 

Aya scoffed. “So? Who’s going to believe you? No one even knows who you are.” She said with a roll of her eyes. 

Hide snorted. “Don’t know me? Mrs. Aya, the whole neighborhood knows me and adores me. I’ve been working with the majority of them every day for the past six years. And every day I talk to them, telling them quite a bit about you. Telling them why we’re here. Now tell me, how many of them would turn on you if they found out what exactly you’ve done to us over the years? Told them how many nights Kaneki went to bed hungry, the verbal abuse, the neglect, the blame…They’d all believe me Mrs. Aya, especially after this.” He said moving to sit beside her, holding Mai in his lap. The box was a little broken but the bag her ashes were inside was intact and that was the most important thing. 

Aya stiffened as she listened and she frowned, furrowing her brows. 

“You’re bluffing.” She snapped, standing up. 

Hide smirked at her. 

“And do you really want to risk that? I wonder how low you’d fall in the social standing.” He said and she balled her hands into fists before huffing quickly and walking outside to retrieve the books. She couldn’t let that brat ruin her reputation. Hide smirked after her and he leaned back into the couch, watching as Kaneki walked downstairs. 

Tears were streaked down Kaneki’s cheeks and hide quickly went to console him. 

“Hide she took everything…” he whimpered into Hide’s shoulder, gripping the back of his shirt. Hide smiled gently at him.

“I got her to get it back Ken…don’t worry.” He assured, kissing Kaneki’s nose when he looked up. Kaneki furrowed his brows, looking out the window to see Aya bent inside of her garbage can, pulling book upon book out of the trash and of course, soiling her new silk skirt. Hide snorted softly. 

“Serves her right.” He said and patted Kaneki’s back. “And don’t worry about Mrs. Mai. Her box is damaged, but her ashes are okay.” He murmured, kissing the man’s forehead. “I’ll fix her a little bit later when this is all settled.” He smiled. 

Kaneki nodded, leaning back into Hide with a soft sigh. 

“Thank you Hide.” He murmured softly. Hide smiled gently down at him, rubbing Kaneki’s back gingerly before sitting down with him. 

“When we save enough, we should look into apartments close to Kamii. I want to get out of here as soon as possible.” He murmured softly, wrapping an arm around Kaneki as Kaneki rested against him. Kaneki nodded, resting his hand comfortably against the man’s thigh. Hide thought nothing of it. 

“I do too. I’m so tired of living here Hide.” 

“Tell me about it.” 

“Hey, what should we do when we first move in?”

“Besides move in?” Hide inquired, arching brow. Kaneki smiled up at him humorously. 

“Well yeah. It’ll be our first time on our own. What should we do?” He asked, sitting up a little to look Hide in the eyes. Hide pursed his lips before thinking quietly. 

“I’d like to spend a whole day with you.” He said honestly. Kaneki knitted his eyebrows. 

“That’s all?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, we spend days together all the time-“

“Not really…Either you have school or I’m busy with chores…and Now you have a job.” Hide murmured softly, looking down. He was happy Kaneki was growing up as well as he was, but he was starting to miss him more and more each day. It was starting to become taxing on his health, he just knew it. He looked up to the man and held his hand. “I just want a day where I can have you to myself where we can do whatever we want together. I miss you Ken. That’s all.” He explained quietly, leaning down to kiss the man’s forehead. 

Kaneki frowned at him. 

“Is it hurting you that I’m away so much?” he asked, placing a hand over Hide’s chest. Hide touched it before scratching his cheek lightly. 

“Not hurting me, no. But waiting for you all the time is getting kinda boring.” He said softly, looking away. Kaneki frowned up at him before leaning up to kiss Hide’s jaw. 

“Fine.”

Hide blinked.

“Fine what?”

“You can have me for a day. Nothing will get in the way of our full 24 hours alone together. It’s a promise.” He said sweetly. Hide listened and he smiled happily, moving to hug Kaneki close and nuzzle his head enthusiastically. 

“Thank you Kaneki! I can’t wait.” He said cheerfully, kissing his cheek a few times. Kaneki laughed softly, kissing him back. 

“You’re a big dork, you know that?”

“The biggest! And I’m yours.” Hide grinned, just as the door opened. Aya dragged a bag of books behind her and dropped them on the floor in front of them. 

“I’m going to take a shower. I want you two little shits out of my sight in your room for the rest of the night.” She snapped before walking away. She was fuming. Hide smirked after her and Kaneki sighed. 

“Come on, let’s do what she says.” He sighed, standing up to retrieve his mother while Hide went to grab the bag. They moved up to Kaneki’s room where they put the books back in their rightful places and snuggled up before bed, relaxing together for the time being. Hide knew he had some time to wait, but he could definitely hold out until then. Kaneki was doing his best, it was his job to do the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg this sucker was long but it was well worth it. I'm sorry this chapter took so long. I was really trying guys, but my classes really were kicking my ass. However, classes are ending soon and i'll probably go onto more regular updates. Until then -w-/


	6. Mixed Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As weeks pass, and Kaneki works harder, Hide finds it hard to continue on.

Kaneki sighed deeply as he walked home, frowning to himself. Hide had told him that he had a thing and couldn’t make it to walk him home. He supposed that was fine, but it seemed like it was happening more often lately.

 

A few days ago it was cleaning up at Mrs. Sao’s house. The day before that, he had gone to visit Mr. Shinohara. And every week, the days Hide was coming home late was growing. He wasn’t sure he liked it.

 

Still, he was exhausted and he had to get home ASAP. Hide had to be at least heading home by now and he wanted to see his little ray of sunshine.

 

“I’m home…” Kaneki called to an empty house. He had assumed that Aya and the rest of the family had gone out to dinner without them. He sighed after a short look around the house, finding that Hide hadn’t been there either. He went up to his bedroom, wanting to just change and go to sleep when he found a not so neatly folded piece of paper on his pillow. Past the creases of failed attempts at folding, he could see his name and a scribble hastily written over the front.

 

He furrowed his brows before setting his work clothes down on the bed and plopped down beside it, picking up the note. It was definitely Hide’s hand writing. He looked over the drawing of what he assumed to be himself and he smiled gently at it. Hide had ever been the best artist but he tried.

 

He unfolded the paper quietly and read over the words carefully.

_Kaneki, Sorry I haven’t been around much. Mr. Shinohara asked me to babysit again. He and the wife decided to go out for the night. I hope they have a lot of fun. I took a few chocolates from Aya’s secret stash. You think she’ll notice? lol. I should be home a little after ten, but I don’t know when they’ll be back. I’ll be home as soon as possible, but if I’m not back by eleven, feel free to call. Hide <3 _

 

Kaneki smiled softly as he read the note and looked up at the clock in their room. He sighed deeply, seeing that it was only eight thirty. He looked back to the note again, flipping it over in his hand. He blinked, seeing the big PS on the back of the paper. He furrowed his bows, seeing quite a few scribbled out starts to the extra note before the actual note started.

_P.S. I love you! I really do. And I miss you…I can’t wait till I get to have you to myself again. These past few months have been kinda hard, but I know you’re working twice as hard as I am. So I’ll do better. We get to have our day together soon, I just know it! Keep your chin up Ken and I’ll do the same. Thanks for doing your best for me. Hide_

 

 Kaneki smiled sadly to himself as he read the note, feeling Hide’s love just through his words alone. Hide had always been so sweet to him, so kind and caring. He had been there since they were kids. He read over the back of the note a few more times before frowning to himself. Being away from Hide always reminded him of how lonely he really was. He’d been working at Antieku for almost three months now and he still couldn’t find it in himself to have someone besides Hide in his life. He knew that was horrible, but he couldn’t help it. He was just the world’s punching bag after all.

 

 He laid down in their bed, holding onto Hide’s note and one of his shirts. He felt comforted by the familiar scent of his boyfriend by his side. He looked at the clock one last time, seeing the time was 8:47 before he dozed off to sleep.

 

He woke up early in the morning to the sound of his door opening. He jumped up, seeing a shadow creeping into the doorway. The shadow froze as well, stiffening behind the slightly open door. Kaneki felt his heart stop at the sight of the figure before the light flicked on.

 

He winced and closed his eyes quickly, rubbing his eyes at the bright lights.

 

“S-Sorry, Kaneki. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Hide’s warm voice murmured sheepishly. Kaneki blinked and looked up, seeing Hide in the door way with a satchel over his shoulder and wearing his orange flannel and some jeans.

 

“Hide…” Kaneki murmured softly, very confused and very tired, “What time is it?”

 

Hide bit his lip and pulled the messenger bag over his head and set it on the floor.

 

“Uh…2:48…” He muttered, wincing at Kaneki’s gasp.

 

“Hide! What the hell were you doing out at almost three in the morning?!”

 

“They didn’t come home until like 2 and it’s half an hour ride back home. I’m sorry-“

 

“You could have gotten hurt! Someone could have hurt you!” he said as Hide put his hands up at the noise.

 

“I’m sorry!” He hissed softly as he moved toward the bed. “Kaneki, please calm down. I’m here, I’m okay, please, don’t-” he paused when Kaneki threw himself onto Hide, hugging his neck tightly.

 

“Hide, I can’t lose you! Don’t leave me alone…” he cried out into his shoulder.

 

Hide blinked at the sudden outburst before smiling softly and hugging the man back gently.

 

“I won’t Kaneki. I’ll always come back to you,” he said softly, petting his hair as the man whimpered into his shoulder.

 

“I love you Hide…I’m sorry I’m never around…I’m sorry…”

 

“I love you too, Kaneki. Please don’t apologize to me. I’m sorry for worrying you,” he murmured softly. Kaneki looked up at him, frowning a little before sighing deeply and rested his tired head on Hide’s shoulder.

 

“Please don’t stay out this late again…”

 

“Okay, Kaneki.”

 

“Can we go to sleep now?”

 

“Please and thank you.”

 

Kaneki laid down and watched as Hide removed his clothing down to his boxers and he watched him crawl back into the bed. God, his Hide was beautiful. He smiled softly as he laid down and he moved to cuddle up to the taller male, resting his head on his shoulder.

 

“Hey, Hide?” he asked softly. Hide moved to gently hold Kaneki closer, smiling a little as he caressed the man’s side. He hummed in acknowledgement.

 

Kaneki frowned before moving up to gently kiss Hide’s lips. Hide looked up at him as the kiss continued, confused. Kaneki pulled back and Hide gave a dorkey grin.

 

“What was that for?” he asked while Kaneki laid back down.

 

“For our future,” he said quietly.

 

Hide smiled lightly, resting his head back on the pillow. He liked the idea of a future with Kaneki. He waited for Kaneki to fall asleep before falling asleep himself, resting softly as a soft whirring emanated from his chest like always.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

After the next few weeks, Kaneki had resigned to working extra hard. He knew he had enough for the down payment, but his brain screamed at him that it wasn’t enough. No matter how many tables he cleaned or how many customers he serves, it never felt like enough.

 

He also knew the reason why Hide had been sneaking out all these years. He caught Hide sneaking into their room and pulling out a small shoe box from the closet and saw a very large wad of cash bound by a rubber band sitting in the box one night. He watched as Hide pulled out a much smaller wad from his pocket, counted it, then bound it neatly in a rubber band and set it in the box before shoving it back into the closet while pretending to sleep.

 

He’d been saving up for god only knew how long.

 

He decided not to confront him about it and continued working for the next week.

 

It was finally the last pay day when Kaneki decided that it was time to pay for their apartment. Kaneki went to work with Hide, who promised to stay the day with him. When Kaneki asked why, Hide simply gave a tired smile and replied “Cus I miss you!” and that was that.

 

So Kaneki came into work, apologizing to Yoshimura about the lost seat and Yoshimura gave a soft laugh.

 

“Kaneki, please don’t worry so much. I doubt he’ll bother anyone if he’s yours Touka said she was bringing hers too. Maybe they can become friends. Wouldn’t that be nice?” he asked cheerfully and Kaneki gave a slightly uncomfortable laugh. He knew Hide made friends with many people but he was always afraid of losing him to someone else. Nothing was keeping Hide from leaving, obviously. He looked back to Hide, who was sitting quietly in a small chair with his headphones on and his eyes down cast to his phone.

 

Yep…absolutely nothing…. He took his hand towel and started to shine the tables as the others came in. Touka walked in about ten minutes after Kaneki did with a younger looking girl behind her who wore a pretty pink coat and a white scarf. Her chestnut hair was perfectly curled inwards at the ends, giving her hair a bobbed look. Her face was round and her eyes were warm and knowing.

 

“Touka, where should I sit?” she asked softly and Touka looked back to her as she tied her apron. She looked around, spotting Hide sitting all alone. She then turned to eye Kaneki.

 

“Kaneki, can Yoriko sit by Hide?” she asked. Kaneki looked up and shrugged.

 

“Ask him that.” He said, confused by the question. Hide was his own person.

 

Touka frowned before looking to Yoriko.

 

“You heard the man, go ask the blonde one over there.” She said. Yoriko nodded, quietly stepping over to where Hide sat.

 

“Sir?” Yoriko spoke up politely. Hide noticed a presence in his midst and he looked up, his eyes unfocusing and focusing again. She didn’t flinch.

 

“Yes?” Hide asked.

 

“My master asked me to ask you if I could sit here.” She said quietly.

 

Hide eyed her for a moment before looking up to Kaneki, uncertainty in his features. Kaneki looked equally as uncertain and shrugged, looking to Touka- pitting her as the culprit. Hide furrowed his brows before ultimately deciding that it wasn’t a big deal. It’d be nice to have another hybrid child to talk to. He scooted over and patted the seat with a smile. She smiled back at him before sitting down beside him, setting her bag on the table.

 

 There were a few moments of silence between the two, however. Hide didn’t know what to say to the smaller girl and she didn’t seem interested in saying anything to him.

 

Still, he figured he should try right?

 

“Hey…So what’s your name?” he asked, using his usual amount of charisma. She looked up at him, her eyes looking glossy and new. More like a doll’s than a robot’s.

 

“Master named me Yoriko. What did your master name you?” She asked. Hide frowned as he listened to her. It was almost like she was still on her factory settings.

 

“Uh…well, my master before Kaneki named me Hide. Kaneki never gave me a new name.” he said honestly and she tilted her head.

 

“You had a master before Kaneki?” she asked. Hide frowned.

 

“Well…yes. But they gave me up real early on.” He said looking down and rubbed his arm a bit. He didn’t like thinking about his previous family.

 

She looked down, like she was thinking something over.

 

“So you failed your job?” she asked and Hide stiffened. Kaneki did as well.

 

“N-no…”

 

“But your family gave you up. That means they didn’t love you. You didn’t do your job.”

 

Hide pursed his lips. He knew she was just thinking by the logic implanted in every Hybrid child. Their main objective was to be the thing your master would love most. When you were discarded you weren’t loved, meaning failure.

 

He thought he had gotten over that fact.

 

“T-they weren’t my family. Kaneki is my family.” He said, trying to swallow past the lump in his throat. She frowned.

 

“He is now I suppose. You wouldn’t have grown otherwise.” She said, furrowing her brows a little. “Miss Touka says I’m small.” She said fiddling with her thumbs.

 

Hide loosened up just a tiny bit.

 

“She said that to you?” He asked. Yoriko nodded.

 

“I’ve been with Miss Touka for almost three months and I’ve grown only a few years older,” She mumbled. “She wanted someone to grow with her I suppose.”

 

Hide listened and he sighed. He knew that problem well. The problem with hybrid children was that people never wanted to care for them. They never expected to have a child come to their door. He never understood why. He took her hand gently.

 

“Whatever is happening between you two, it’s not your fault. We were built to grow at our own pace, given a good home to live in. And growing a few years in three months is totally impressive. You don’t have to worry. Trust in your master.” He smiled warmly. She furrowed her brows at him.

 

“How old are you?” she asked. Hide blinked.

 

“About nineteen, I think. I’ve lived with Kaneki and his keepers for about ten years now.” He said proudly.

 

Yoriko’s eyes widened at his pride. “You’re super old.”

 

Hide made a face. “I am not! You’re just young.” He huffed crossing his arms. Kids, man…

 

Yoriko giggled softly. “You aren’t wrong, Hide.”

 

Hide huffed softly, smiling a little to himself: cute girl.

 

They chatted for hours, venting to each other about their owners and their families. Hide told her about Mai and their new family and Yoriko gasped softly.

 

“They locked you up in a closet? How awful…Why did you stay? You could have left if it wasn’t a habitable. We all have that feature.” She murmured, confused as to why Hide decided to stay in such horrible conditions.

 

Hide gave a small sigh, looking up to Kaneki who was currently taking a young woman’s order.

 

“I stayed because my master needed me.” He replied softly. “He probably wouldn’t be with us if I had left him too.”

 

Yoriko furrowed her brows at Hide’s words and she looked to Touka.

 

“You really care for your master don’t you?”

 

Hide laughed quietly, pulling her attention back to him. “I care about him enough to stop referring to him as master. Kaneki is my friend. And I’ll always be there when he needs me.” He said quietly.

 

Yoriko listened to him, smiling. “It’s nice to see someone who cares so much about their master. I hope, one day, Miss Touka cares that much about me.” She sighed longingly. She cared deeply for Touka. On days where Touka took a long time at work, she would do everything in her power to make sure she could relax when she got home. She cooked dinner, she cleaned, she shopped for groceries, she prepared an after dinner bath…everything she could possibly do she did it in hopes of being noticed by her master. She never got more than a small praise however.

 

Hide pouted a little before looking to Touka. Her sharp violet eyes bored holes into his face and he shuttered.

 

“Uh, yeah. Yoriko? I think the problem is that you don’t talk to her enough. According to Kaneki, she’s lost quite a bit and closed herself off because of it. You just need to tell her how you feel, because trust me. She loves you quite a bit. Relax around her. Be yourself. You’re too formal.” He explained, leaning back in his seat.

 

“’Too formal’?” she parroted and he nodded.

 

“Yeah! Stop with the ‘Miss’ and ‘Master’ stuff. It puts people off. Of course, you have to use manners but you don’t have to be so proper. And speak your mind. That’s always good.” He explained cheerfully. “Kaneki would probably punch me if I ever called him ‘Master’ or ‘Mister Kaneki’. It’s just weird.” He shrugged.

 

Yoriko looked up at him before looking to Touka and then down at the table.

 

“Less formal…speak my mind…got it.” She mumbled to herself. After a few minutes, Kaneki walked over with some fruit juice for Yoriko and a coffee for Hide.

 

“How’s everything going over here?” he asked.

 

Yoriko smiled at him. “Very good M- uh…K-Kaneki.” She corrected, looking up to Hide who gave her a thumbs up as he stirred his coffee.

 

Kaneki gave a knowing look to Hide before smiling to the younger girl.

 

“Is he treating you nicely?” He asked and Hide scoffed softly but let Yoriko answer.

 

She smiled. “Very kindly, thank you for asking.” She grinned softly and Hide smiled lightly at the other.

 

“When do you get off so we can go look at the apartment? The owner wants to know when we’ll be there.” Hide informed, unlocking his phone. Kaneki blinked and frowned.

 

“I’ll have to ask Mr. Yoshimura. It shouldn’t be later than six.” He said, pressing his finger to his chin, looking down.

 

Hide squinted at him. “Dude, if it’s later, tell me.”

 

Kaneki furrowed his brows. As observant as ever he guessed…

 

“It might be around eight…” He trailed and Hide frowned.

 

“Kaneki, if you knew you had to work late today then why did you tell the guy that we could meet him today?” he asked. He wasn’t angry, perhaps a bit frustrated. There Kaneki went again, trying to please everyone.

 

Kaneki made a face. “I’m sorry-“

 

“You don’t need to apologize, man. I’ll just tell him we have to reschedule. No big whoop.”

 

Kaneki looked up, looking like he was almost pouting.

 

“You sure?” he asked as Hide pulled his phone out.

 

“Yeah, it’s fine. Might hurt our rep with the guy though.” Hide murmured as he looked though his contacts.

 

“How can you talk so freely?” Yoriko chimed in, making both men look to her. Her face was screwed in what Hide figured was frustration at him.

 

“What?”

 

“How can you talk so loosely to your master like that? It’s so…against our code! We have to show respect! What happened to you?” she asked, utterly confused. Hide furrowed his brows.

 

“...What?”

 

Kaneki put his hands up, wanting to calm her down but she turned her eyes to him.

 

“Is this why you love him?”

 

Kaneki blinked and he frowned softly, looking to Hide who looked utterly uncomfortable. He was about to answer the girl when Touka stomped over.

 

“Yoriko.” She snapped and the girl immediately made herself smaller.

 

“What are you doing?” Touka snapped.

 

“I-I, uh…I’m sorry Miss Touka…” she mumbled.

 

Touka frowned at her before sighing deeply and looked to Hide and Kaneki.

 

“Is she bothering you?” she asked. Kaneki frowned and looked to Hide, furrowing his brows. It had been a while since he’d seen such an expression on Hide’s face. His eyes were cold and downcast, simply glaring at the table. His eyebrows knitted and his lips were pursed.

 

“No. Not bothering.” Hide said quietly, straightening up as he took a small breath. He smiled to her, one that could have fooled anyone besides Kaneki. To Kaneki, those eyes gave away everything.

 

“Yoriko, Kaneki loves me because he has no one else to love.” He said softly, slipping past the other and smiled to the two women. “Please excuse me, I’m going to go take a small walk.” He said softly, looking to Kaneki. “Call me when you get out. I’ll come get you.” He murmured, sounding very disheartened before he turned to walk out of the café. He needed some time to himself to think.

 

Kaneki frowned deeply, watching him leave the store. He wanted to call out to him, but he couldn’t call any more attention to them than they already had. Touka frowned and patted his shoulder.

 

“Go talk to him, idiot. I’ll cover for you until you get back.” She said, realizing this was majorly her fault for not watching Yoriko closer. Yoriko pouted, apologizing softly to her master as guilt settled in her belly.

 

Kaneki bit his lip and he nodded, pulling off his apron. He went and spoke to Yoshimura before hurrying outside. He looked around, gasping softly when he saw Hide sitting at the bus stop, his headphones on. His sleeve was pulled up and he was looking down at it. Kaneki frowned deeply before walking closer and gently touched his shoulder. He jumped as Hide did.

 

Hide swung around, looking up at him with wide, watery eyes.

 

“Kaneki! What are you doing here? I thought you had- “

 

“I’m taking a break Hide… Are you crying? What’s wrong?” he asked worriedly, noticing Hide hiding his arm from him. “What’s wrong with your arm?” he asked reaching for it.

 

Hide twisted his body away, rubbing his eyes. “I’m fine…Just…just a little tired is all.” He mumbled, averting his eyes. He wasn’t exactly lying.

 

Kaneki frowned deeply. “Show me your arm.” He said sternly.

 

Hide’s eyes flickered and he grit his teeth, shaking his head and let them refocus. Kaneki stepped closer.

 

“Let me see your arm Hide. Don’t make me…” he murmured, his voice even. Hide furrowed his brows, holding his arm stiffly behind him as he shook his head again. His stomach felt like it was doing flips and he didn’t like it.

 

Kaneki stiffened his stance. He was getting incredibly worried. He’d never seen Hide act like this before. To be honest, he didn’t see much of Hide anymore. Either he was working or Hide was off somewhere. Still, he had to do what he had to. He needed to know Hide was safe.

 

“Hide, as your master I- “

 

“No!” Hide yelled out, and immediately regretted it. It was like the lights turned off in his head. Kaneki watched as Hide’s eyes flickered off and on, dimming a bit before he made a face. He stiffened in horror before stepping closer.

 

“H-Hide are you-“ He stopped, jumping back as Hide lurched forward, black sludge forcing its self up Hide’s throat and out onto the sidewalk. Hide held onto his gut, his eyes tearing as his body sunk to the ground.

 

There were three rules Hybrid Children had to live by: make your master happy, do as you’re told, and never defy your master unless harm to said master is commanded. Otherwise an immediate stop of all maintenance functions stopped, ultimately leading to the ‘death’ of the subject within five days.

 

Now, people had complained that the rules were unfitting and ultimately hard to fulfil, being some people just…couldn’t be happy regardless of what was in their lives. Hybrid children were being sent back as empty shells and it was becoming troublesome. So in newer models, the rules were allowed leeway.

 

Neither Kaneki nor Hide knew of this fact. Kaneki hurried to Hide, catching him before he fell and he hefted him to the bench with a pant. He laid Hide down, cupping his cheeks worriedly. Hide’s eyes were open wide, but were glossed over, his pupils wide. The black, tar like substance still dripped from Hide’s lips and nose.

 

“Hide?! Hide what’s wrong? What can I do?! Hide please…Please talk to me!” he yelled through the tears as he shook Hide. He had no idea what to do or where to go with this. Hide wasn’t breathing…for all he knew Hide wasn’t alive.

 

Kaneki whined, taking deep breaths to try and stop the imminent panic attack and he turned Hide onto his side, watching as more tar leaked from his mouth, landing heavily in a pile on the ground.

 

As Hide’s eyes started to slip shut, Kaneki found himself feeling more and more panicked. He wasn’t breathing…Maybe he was choking? He stopped breathing for a second and heard a soft gurgling coming from Hide. He gasped, biting his lip before reaching to Hide’s mouth. He parted his lips and teeth, pushing his fingers into the man’s mouth and down his throat, pushing past the stuff that had been blocking Hide’s throat. His mother had done this once for him a long time ago when he had gotten sick in his sleep and started choking.

 

Hide’s eyes shot open and his body lurched forward again as he vomited up the rest of what black stuff was left. He gasped deeply and flopped back onto his back, heaving in deep gasps of air. Tears sprung from Kaneki’s eyes and he took Hide up against him in a tight hug, sobbing into his shoulder.

 

Hide gave a small groan as he was hugged. He reached up to weakly hold onto Kaneki’s shirt.

 

“Ka..eki…” he gurgled and Kaneki pulled back to cup Hide’s face, looking him over.

 

Hide was pale as a sheet, his eyes were half lidded and his skin felt clammy. He furrowed his brows, wanting to know what to do.

 

“H-Hide what’s wrong…What c-can I do? What’s happening?” he asked, trying to keep the tremble out of his voice. Hide’s eyes rolled in his head before moving to look into Kaneki’s eyes. His hands moved up weakly to hold Kaneki’s wrists.

 

“Aut..o…matic sh…ut down… F…five…days …compl….ete ssssssssssystem failure.” He explained, his voice coming out staticy and weak, like from an old radio.

 

Kaneki winced at his voice and his eyes widened. Complete system failure?

 

“Hide, what does that mean?” he asked slowly, feeling like his world was closing in on him.

 

Hide made a face, his eyebrows furrowing over his eyes and he looked up at the other, his eyes grave. He didn’t answer but Kaneki knew. Hide looked away as Kaneki’s eyes welled up with tears that refused to stop.

 

“H-hide…tell me h-how to help you.” He demanded.

 

Hide winced and looked up at him. In all honesty, this had been coming for a long while. Not only was he getting old, there had been a time where he went almost two weeks without actually talking with his lover. Hide had watched the dark patch on his arm, the areas of decay growing bigger and bigger each day. Hide had chosen to ignore them, hoping that with a few good days of actually being with Kaneki would make them go away. More time would make them disappear.

 

Now he’d gone and done it.

 

“Fffffiiiind C-cre…a…tor…” he said. The factories where they were made would do nothing for him. They would tell Kaneki to wait like the others and but the time they got to him, it would be too late. Hide wasn’t ready to die. Kaneki still needed him.

 

Kaneki listened and he nodded duteously. He couldn’t stand by and watch Hide die like this. He pulled Hide’s arm over his head and held onto him, lifting him from the bench. He grunted under Hide’s essentially dead weight. Hide grunted in pain as Kaneki gripped his arm and Kaneki gasped softly, almost dropping him.

 

“I-I’m sorry! I…I need to get you home.” He said urgently, hugging Hide close and started to walk with him, dragging him with him. He started to pass Antieku’s storefront. At this point, Yomo was quietly sweeping the stairs when Kaneki collapsed on top of Hide.

 

He couldn’t. Hide was bigger and heavier than him. Dragging him all the way home would be an impossible feat. Yomo watched them with wide eyes before hurrying to their side.

 

“Ken? What the hell happened? Is he okay?” He asked.

 

Kaneki had already gotten off Hide and was trying to get him back up. He looked up at the silver haired man with teary eyes. “Y-Yomo, please help me...I need to take him home! I-I need to find his creator…I need…I need…” he sobbed, trying to lift Hide up again but he couldn’t make his fingers work right. He couldn’t do anything right.

 

Yomo furrowed his brows. “Ken, calm down. You can’t help him like this.” He said urgently. “I’ll tell Yoshimura where we’re going. I know who can help but I need you to calm down.” He said softly, touching Kaneki’s shoulder.

 

Kaneki looked up, watching him disappear into the Café. He sniffled and looked down at Hide. The man was still awake, barely, and his breathing was shallow. He whimpered and pulled Hide’s head into his lap, trying not to cry as he gently brushed Hide’s silky blonde hair out of his pale face.

 

“Hide…please stay with me…please…” he whimpered softly, sobs making him hiccup on his words. He watched as Hide’s eyes rolled up to look at him and then his lips twitch up just a bit in a smile. Something Kaneki would have missed if he wasn’t so focused on Hide.

 

“Doooon’t c…ry…you’ll sssssssstaaaain y…our unif…orm.” He drawled out, reaching up weakly to take Kaneki’s hand. Kaneki scoffed softly, taking his cool hand and pressed his cheek against it, holding it close.

 

“Nevermind that…W-we’re g-gonna get you help, okay?” He assured and Hide gave a small nod, the tiny smile never leaving his lips. Hide had no intention on dying here. He had no intention on dying any time soon. He’d stay with Kaneki for as long as he needed him. Period.

 

Yomo walked back out, holding his car keys a few minutes later. “I’ll carry him, follow me.” He said quickly. He was aware time was of the essence.

 

Kaneki nodded, watching as Yomo lifted Hide up with the utmost care and moved toward the back of the café where his sleek black car was.

 

He laid Hide in the back, buckling him in the most comfortable way possible before letting himself in. He watched Kaneki buckle himself up and he started the car, backing out quickly. Kaneki gripped the seat anxiously, looking back to Hide before looking to Yomo.

 

“Where are we going?” he asked as they started to drive, the red lights irritating him more now than ever. Yomo didn’t look at him, keeping his steely eyes on the road.

 

“To his creator.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished! I'm sorry it took so long guys. I'm also sorry in general. I hope you enjoyed it though! And chapter seven is already in the works, so...look forward to that.


	7. Cool Places, Cold Faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the help of Yomo, Kaneki finds Hide's creator and much more about Hide's past. Goodbyes are said and the waiting begins.

_When in eternal lines to Time thou grow’st._  
_So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,_  
_So long lives this, and this gives life to thee._

 

* * *

  
Kaneki drummed his fingers anxiously on his knee as he sat in the passenger side of Yomo’s car, cringing each time they stopped at a light. He looked back to Hide, who’s eyes had closed and stared for a long moment. He watched for a slow, wheezing breath to slowly fill Hide’s chest before it wheezed back out, along with a soft crackling sound reminiscent of a broken radio picking up only static. He gave a small whimper watching this, turning back around and hung his head, biting his lip to try and stop his tears from overflowing.

He had to be strong for Hide. Hide had always done the same for him, no matter what happened. He needed to stay strong for him through this.

He jumped as he felt a large hand pat the top of his head and he looked up to see Yomo looking down at him.

“We can save him, don’t worry.” Yomo murmured softly before turning to face the road.

Kaneki stared up at him for a bit after hearing his words before looking back to Hide.

  
Shallow breath in…

Silence…

Shallow breath out…

Radio sounds.

Repeat.

Kaneki sighed deeply, playing with the bottom of his sweater quietly. What was he going to do? What if this Creator asked for money? What if they didn’t want to help anyway? He couldn’t lose his best friend.

He couldn’t lose his only friend.

Kaneki looked out the window, watching cars pass and watching signs come and go. The colors started to blend together but he continued to watch them go by.

About an hour passed by when they finally stopped out at some hole in a wall doll shop. The lights in windows were turned out, seemingly because it was past closing. Inside the display case were multiple beautifully made dolls sat, staring out into the street. Also in the display case was a sign for handmade Hybrid Children.

Kaneki eyed the sign as he unbuckled himself.

“Are you sure they’re here?” he asked. Yomo unbuckled himself as well after turning off the car.

“He calls before he goes home. I know when he leaves.” He murmured quietly, sighing deeply. “Come on, we need to get him in there.” He said, turning to climb out of the car. Kaneki furrowed his brows in slight confusion before nodding and followed suit, helping Yomo get Hide out of the car.

Yomo pulled a key from his key ring and handed it to Kaneki before lifting Hide up out of the back seat.

“Go unlock the door and hold it open for me. Don’t hold your back to the door either.” He murmured, adjusting Hide in his arms so he wasn’t in too much discomfort. Kaneki cocked his head at the instructions before moving to follow them, pushing the key into the lock and opened the door with ease. A bell jingled and then went silent. Kaneki stared into the dark building, watching intently while Yomo made his way inside.

“Thank you. Follow me.” He said gruffly, flipping on a light switch with his elbow. The lights flicked on showing a rather crowded shop covered ceiling to floor with shelves upon shelves with dolls and doll accessories. Kaneki curled in on himself, feeling all the dead, soulless dolls eyes staring at him.

“Ken, hurry up.” Yomo called, walking into the back of the store with Hide limply lying in his arms. Kaneki jumped and nodded quickly as he followed them, wringing his hands as he walked though more and more cold stares.

Hide had always been so warm…so full of life. It was easy to forget that he was just a very high tech doll. He shook his head at the thought; Hide was much more than a doll.

“Uta! I know you’re here. I’ve got an emergency so hurry up and come out.” He said, setting Hide down in a chair. Kaneki hurried to Hide’s side, sitting beside him and let the man rest his head on his shoulder.  
“It’s gonna be okay Hide…I promise.” He whispered softly, squeezing the man’s hand as Yomo walked around, throwing sheets off of blank Hybrid Children bodies. Hide gave a weak smile.

“I…know h…ow much y…ou haaaaaate dolls…IIIIIIIIII'm sor-r-r-ry.” He murmured brokenly, his voice sounding hollow. Kaneki shook his head and covered Hide’s mouth.

“Shh…You’re too weak to speak right now. Rest please.” He said softly, caressing Hide’s cheek gently. Hide leaned into the warm hand.

“Sssssso wwwwwaaaaarm….” He murmured, looking up dully, noticing Yomo had found someone hiding behind a rack which held a plethora of clothes. They were talking now and Yomo seemed to get the peculiar looking man to come take a look at him.

Kaneki stiffened upon actually seeing the man. The guy had red eyes. Red eyes! And his scleras were blacked out. Not to mention all the tattoos and his hair. Kaneki swallowed dryly, trying not to look frightened.

Uta looked down at Kaneki and widened his eyes a bit.

“Well you look rather ucomforable.” He murmured, sounding slightly amused. Kaneki stiffened.

“U-uh no s-sir. I-I mean…I-I’m not fond of dolls is all.” He murmured softly.

Uta tilted his head a bit. “’Not fond of dolls’? Then why did you buy one…from me it looks like?” he murmured, moving to turn Hide’s head and brush his long hair aside to look at his serial number. Hide didn’t fight it, though he didn’t look too pleased to have his face touched by a stranger.

“Yep, from me. I remember making this one too. His temperament gave me some trouble.” He said thoughtfully, looking down to Kaneki.

“I thought that couple couldn’t have kids though.” He murmured.

Kaneki stiffened. “T-they threw him away. I found him on the street.” He explained nervously. God this guy was freaky, but not unkind. Still, he wanted to keep up his guard just a bit. It was the only thing keeping him from having an attack.

Uta didn’t look too surprised at the information and sighed deeply.

“Figures, that family wasn’t ready to take care of him.” He muttered, moving over to his computer which lit the dim room along with a few lights.

He opened his laptop and typed for a few seconds, bringing up Hide’s file.

“Hey cutie, come over here.” He called. Kaneki frowned, looking to Yomo who gave a small sigh and nodded. Kaneki stood and held Hide in place, waiting for Yomo to sit and support Hide before walking over nervously.

“This was the family I gave him to.” He said, showing Kaneki a picture of two people, a young couple. The woman had long dyed blonde hair, only showing that fact with her roots which had been growing in for a while. She had a round face and a slender frame. Beside her was a taller man with dark hair and a firm frame. They looked to be in their thirties.

“Who are they?” Kaneki asked.

Uta yawned. “Mr. and Mrs. Nagachika. Your boy over there was named Hideyoshi Nagachika before he was made. They wanted the perfect child they couldn’t have. ‘Sunshiny’ was the term I believe they used. I guess I didn’t give it to them.” He said, scrolling down to see a picture of Hide when he was first made. It made Kaneki’s heart ache seeing the warm round faced boy with the shiny blonde hair and the tale tell brown patch of hair. Hide in his purest of times and god, was he adorable. Something was off, however. He looked closer, and noticed his eyes. They were dim, his pupils were so small they were almost nonexistent. They were dead, the light missing from them.

“Was he turned on here?” Kaneki asked, his voice strained.

Uta looked up at him, his owl-like gaze making Kaneki shiver a bit.

“’Turned on’? Uh, no not really. He was like a new born right here. Nothing was going on in that head of his when I took this picture. It’s weird, they said he looked perfect. Wonder why they gave him up.” He murmured softly before shaking his head and turned to face Kaneki head on.

“Lemme guess. You two haven’t spoken for a while, you had a fight, and he disobeyed orders.” He inquired, crossing his arms.

Kaneki bit his lip.

“I guess he couldn’t have told you about the three laws huh? Well, that’s what done him in. From the looks of it, he’s been rotting from the inside out for a long while. Automatic shutdown takes about three days to get this bad with a healthy Child.” He informed and Kaneki gasped.

“You’re telling me he’s got two days to survive?!” he nearly shrieked. Uta put his hands up in slight defense. He’d dealt with rowdy customers before.

“Well, yeah if he doesn’t get any help.” He replied, crossing his legs as he leaned back. “you’re a friend of Yomo’s, yeah?” he asked, looking up at him. Kaneki frowned and looked back to Yomo, unsure how to answer. He and Yomo worked together, yeah, but did that make them friends?

Uta touched his shoulder. “Oi, look. If Yomo went out of his way to drive you two up here and probably mess up his car, he thinks you’re worth helping at least. I’ll take a look at him, see what I can do but it’s gonna take a while.” He murmured moving over to where Hide and Yomo sat and picked up Hide’s arm.

“Hey, kid. Do me a favor and turned off pain sensors in your right arm.” He murmured, picking up a scalpel from a nearby table. Hide frowned at him but nodded, closing his eyes for a moment. There was a quiet wirring noise that slowed after a few moments. Uta nodded and moved to cut a deep hole into Hide’s arm. Hide didn’t flinch but Kaneki did. Yomo shook his head to him, watching as Uta collected the fluid from Hide’s wound in a tube and swirled it around in some light. It was a deep green.

“Ah…Here it is. Hey, look here.” He said to Kaneki, waving him over. Kaneki frowned but walked over to him. He didn’t appreciate what Uta did. He wasn’t even aware that Hide could be wounded, but he guessed that his flesh was flesh enough for that kind of thing. He knelt beside Uta, looking up at the glass tube. It smelled like rotting fish and looked like something alien.

“Do you know what this is?” Uta asked softly. Kaneki shook his head.

“Is that what’s killing my friend?” he asked and Uta shook his head.

“Good guess but no.” He responded. “This is the outcome of loneliness in Hybrid Children. Here…” he said reaching under the table to pull out a beaker full of a light blue fluid. “This is what gives these hybrid children life. This is what runs through their…uhm, let’s say veins. This is what makes them who they are. And in every Hybrid Child that I make, this is different.” He explained. “After weeks, months even…If their brain believes that they aren’t getting enough love, this fluid starts to go sour. They start to rot and eventually they die. They aren’t robots. They’re as close to living humans that we’ve gotten. And like humans, what happens when they’re alone for too long?” he asked and Kaneki’s bottom lip trembled before he bit into it feverently. He wasn’t going to break down here.

“T-they die.” He answered. Uta nodded.

“Exactly. They die. Believe it or not, Hybrid children don’t have a set expiration date. In fact, I made them to live out as long as their masters do. They need the proper care, however.” He murmured.

“I-I’m sorry.” Kaneki mumbled softly, tears escaping him even though he was willing for them to stop. “I-I’ve done all I c-could… I-I guess it wasn’t good enough…” he hiccupped out.

Uta looked up at him, tilting his head. He didn’t get many who cried about this. Mostly just complaints on how needy his creations were.

“Why do you want me to save him? I need an honest answer.” He murmured softly. Kaneki blinked at the question

“W-what do you mean why?” he asked confused. “Why would I want to save my best friend? What kind of question is that?” He asked, balling his hands into fists.

Uta shrugged. “Most of the people who come in here want me to fix their hybrid children out of guilt. They don’t want to believe that they caused this. Some people aren’t meant to have genuine Hybrid Children. And I mean, people have work, they have their own lives to live. You’re a young guy. You’re working with Yomo which means you don’t have much time on your hands. You probably have college…Wouldn’t one of the commercialized ones be easier for someone like you? They don’t require the kind of attention that he needs.” He explained.

Kaneki trembled a bit, pursing his lips as he listened. “A-are you saying I’m not fit to take care of him?”

“Yeah. I can see in your face you don’t think you are.” He murmured.

Kaneki swallowed dryly, looking down at the floor. Hide was dying and it was his fault. Hide had gone so long suffering and he didn’t even notice. What kind of friend…what kind of lover was he that he didn’t notice that Hide was in pain? He loved Hide so dearly…but was he really fit to take care of him? Uta was right. His work took up a lot of his time. College will make caring for Hide even more difficult. Wouldn’t it be worse for Hide to save him now? Wouldn’t it be-

He jumped as something heavy fell onto him, hugging his waist. He looked down to see Hide hanging off of him, panting heavily with a grave look in his eyes.

“Kaneki…” he panted out, resting heavily against Kaneki as he knelt down and held him at his shoulders.

“Hide, what are you do-” He gasped softly as Hide hugged onto him, holding him as tight as he could manage. His eyebrows were furrowed in utter concentration and he grit his teeth as he held on to him, refusing to let him go.

“Kaneki, it’s not your fault.” He rasped out. “None of this is your fault. Don’t you dare take all the blame.” He panted out, pulling back to cup Kaneki’s face in his cool hands. Kaneki whimpered looking Hide in his eyes. He felt so cold but his eyes were serious as ever.

“I didn’t tell you…I don’t tell you a lot of things. I know you do the same.” He wheezed, taking deep breaths. He shook his head as his eyes started to focus. Kaneki whined.

“H-Hide please calm down, I-”

Hide shook his head covering Kaneki’s mouth. “Listen to me, Ken…You saved me that day almost eleven years ago. You dragged me home. You convinced Miss Mai to take me in. I never would have had a chance without you. You give everything you can to me. Don’t you dare f…for a second think that this is your fault. I…I don’t want to die here. I don’t want to live without you in my life. You’re all I have Ken…” he said, his unfocused eyes watering a bit.

Kaneki whimpered softly as he listened and he blinked as Hide shook his head quickly. “Don’t leave me too…” he nearly sobbed out, resting his hear weakly against Kaneki’s chest as he cried. Kaneki whimpered softly, looking down at his best friend, looking down at his lover and gently moved his hand to pet Hide’s silky blonde hair. Hair like sunshine.

He moved to hug Hide close to him. “I’ll never leave you, Hide.” He whispered softly, smiling through his tears before looking up to Uta.

“I…I want you to save him because I love him. I’m not ready to let him go. He deserves better than this.” He said sternly, his voice wavering just a bit. “Please save him for me.” He begged, looking up to him while holding Hide close to his chest.

Uta looked down to them, noticing Hide’s hands clutching onto Kaneki’s sweater, trembling just a bit. He gave a look to Yomo who shrugged. Uta gave a deep sigh before nodding, standing up.

“Fine, I’ll fix him. I can’t let another one of my creations fizzle out.” He murmured softly, cupping Kaneki’s face as he looked up. “You’ll take care of him, won’t you?” he asked softly and Kaneki nodded as well as he could with his face being held the way it was.

“I want nothing more than to have him by my side. I’ll pay you back Hide, I promise.” He said, looking down to his best friend. Hide looked up at him, giving him a teary eyed, weak smile.

Uta nodded and stood. “I can’t exactly tell you when I’ll have him back to you though.” He informed and Kaneki blinked.

“What? B-but…But shouldn’t he be better in two days?” he asked. Uta pulled a lollipop from his pocket and unwrapped it.  
  
“Uuuum, well not exactly. I need to drain all the rotted fluid in his body, replace some damaged mechanisms make sure everything is running well, all without wiping his memories. That takes time. I can stop the full shut down in a couple of hours, but I need to reverse all the damage that has already happened and that takes time. So, I can’t give you a full estimate until I know exactly what’s gone wrong in there.” He explained. “You’re gonna have to learn to live without him for a while kid.” He said, popping the lollipop into his mouth.

Kaneki stared up to the other, looking horrified before a cool hand touched his cheek. He looked down to Hide who was smiling up at him, a genuine smile that warmed up his face just a bit.

“Y…ou’ll be okay Kaneki. I kn-n-now you’ll be. I beli-ie-ie-ieve in you.” He murmured softly.

Kaneki whimpered and took Hide’s hand. “Really?” he asked softly. “H-Hide, I…I don’t know if I can leave you here…” He admitted, blinking as Hide pulled him down to give him a small chaste kiss on the lips.

“You-u-u-u don’t ha-a-ave a choi-oi-oice. Doooon’t-t worry. I’ll be-e oka-a-ay, and so will you. And when I-I-I come ba-a-ack…we’ll have our day-ay-ay alo-one. Our day togeth-th-ther. I can-an-an wait a l…little longer if y…you can.” He stuttered out, his voice giving way and jumping like a scratched record. Still he managed to give a bigger smile and a weak laugh.

Kaneki listened to the other, his eyes stinging before he shook his head and smiled back to the other, his lip trembling.

“Y-yeah…Of course, Hide. Whatever you want.” He whispered softly, caressing Hide’s face gently. “I love you.” He said softly, hugging Hide’s face close.

Hide smiled softly and hugged him back. “I… lo-o-o-ove you t..oo, Ken.” He sighed softly. Kaneki smiled softly and moved to help Hide back to the couch to lay down.

“Come back to me soon, Okay Hide?” he asked softly, holding Hide’s hand as Yomo stood to get ready to go. Hide nodded.

“A-a-a-as soon assssss I c-can Ken.” He said softly, smiling as Kaneki moved to kiss his forehead.

“Okay…Goodbye Hide.” He murmured softly, kissing his cheek gently before standing up and turned to Yomo, saying he was ready to go. Hide watched Kaneki stand and he swallowed the lump in his throat.

“B….ye bye Kannnnneki…” he murmured softly, watching Kaneki and Yomo walk out of the room. Once he saw the door close, he closed his eyes, letting the tears escape him. He was going to miss Kaneki. He was going to miss him dearly, but he knew he’d be fine without him. At least, for a little while.

 

* * *

 

Kaneki walked out with Uta and Yomo, giving Uta his information. Cellphone number, email, place of work, current address, excreta. Anything Uta could use to contact him when Hide was finished. He walked out with Yomo, feeling robotic and empty. He was leaving his best friend behind with a stranger and he didn’t know when he was going to be able to see him again. He didn’t know if Uta could even fix him. It was all a huge mystery and in all honesty, he was terrified. He followed Yomo out after they said their goodbyes and he sat in Yomo’s car, biting his lip.

“Do you think he can save him?” he asked, looking up at Yomo while the man buckled himself up.

Yomo pursed his lips. “Uta created him, I’m sure he can fix him.” He answered before starting the car. “Let me get you home. You must be exhausted.” He said softly.

Kaneki looked up at Yomo before sighing deeply, the noise shuttering a bit as his chest tightened. “How will I know if he’s okay?” he asked softly.

Yomo frowned to him. “I live with the guy. I’ll make sure he does good by the both of you.” He said softly. “Believe in him, Ken.” He murmured, driving off down the dark road. Kaneki looked up at him.

“Believe in Uta?” he asked in slight confusion.

“Believe in Hide. He’s a fighter and you know it. Don’t give up on him so easily.”

“Oh…” was all Kaneki could manage in response. ‘Believe in Hide’. He could definitely do that. He nodded after a few moments of thought and he moved to rest his head on the window, not minding the constant rattling against his skull. He closed his eyes, not wanting to think about what Uta would be doing to his Hide.

_All he was going to do is help. I don’t need to worry…_

 

* * *

  
Uta helped Hide over to a lit operation table, placing a pillow beneath his head.

“You grew quite a bit in his care, didn’t you?” Uta thought out loud, starting to cut Hide’s clothes from his body at the seams. That would make it easier to fix them later.

Hide gave a weak smile at the man’s absent thought.  
  
“I d…id didn’t I?” he replied.

“You really love him don’t you?” Uta asked, holding Hide’s arm off the table over a bucket and pressed a needle into Hide’s arm and taped it down, watching the sickly green fluid drain into the large tub and sat down beside Hide’s bed. Ah, even the freckles he programmed to show up were there.

Hide pressed his brows together, looking up to the ceiling, the small smile still on his face.

“More tha-tha-than any-y-ything.” He replied, his voice cracking a bit as it strained against damaged vocal mechanisms. Uta was quiet for a few moments and Hide started to feel drowsy.

“Crrrrreat-t-t-tor…” he drawled out, turning his head heavily to look toward Uta questioningly. Uta pet his hair gently.

“Shh, sleep now. Rest. When you wake up, you’ll be good as new. Think of Kaneki. He will calm you.” He said, watching as the muck continued to drip out of the other into the tub.

Hide fought to keep his eyes open, soon, unable to do so. His eyes fell closed.

“Cre-e-e-eat-t-t-tor……K-k-kaaaaane-e-e-eki….” He breathed out before slipping into nothingness as the rest of the rotten fluid continued to slowly drip into the tub.

Uta watched for the next few hours as the fluid left Hide’s arm, draining him of all the spoiled fluid. He nodded to himself before getting to work, gently removing what had already rotted and was of no use to the other. It looked like his heart had taken the most hits. Loneliness would do that, he supposed. He removed it, and replaced carefully. He went on to check every artificial organ, making sure to remove and replace what had been affected. He sighed deeply, watching the sun rise as he continued to replace every ailed part of Hide, saving his precious and delicate brain for last. That part of Hide, the most important part of who Hide was would take much longer to cure.

He sighed deeply as he finally closed Hide up, having been working on him every night for the past month. Creating the individual parts to fit a full sized hybrid child had proven to be difficult. Still, everything on the inside; ‘structure’, ‘organs’, ‘muscles’, everything that had been broken was now fixed and brand new. Hide would feel better than ever once he woke up. However, fixing the brain was a whole new feat. Still, it had to be done.

He took a small coffee break, reading a bit to himself before continuing on his own personal project. He knew he had Hide’s and even that boy Ken’s future on his shoulders. He hadn’t seen someone care for their Hybrid child like that in a long while. Furthermore, he hadn’t seen a reaction that genuine from a Child in even longer of a time. Emotions had been hard to create. Creating a doll that could essentially live and grow as humans did was both a miracle and a blunder.

He was proud of what he had created, and he’d be damned if he allowed another one that genuinely cared wither away. He wasn’t one to show such tenacity but he didn’t want to fail this time.

He continued to work, never allowing a day to pass that he didn’t work on the young man.


	8. A Light in Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Days turn to weeks and weeks to months as Kaneki lives life without his sunshine. Hide struggles to deal with his repairs each time Uta wakes him up.

Being by one’s self can be a very dangerous thing for some people. The soft, cool pressure of loneliness was just that at times; soft and cool, almost unnoticeable but it was there. It lingered, bearing down on Kaneki’s shoulders where ever he went.

 

Other times; like in the late hours of the night where the only company Kaneki had was the sound of his fish tank, he could feel the freezing, utterly crushing weight of his loneliness pushing him further into his deepening depression.

 

When Hide first left, Kaneki couldn’t bring himself to leave his room. He rarely ate, hardly slept and called in sick whenever he could. He couldn’t serve people with a smile when he felt like the only ray of sunshine he had in his miserable life had been taken away. He couldn’t handle the loneliness; he couldn’t handle the guilt of knowing he hadn’t gotten Hide help earlier.

 

It was a few weeks before he could find it possible for himself to get to work and actually do what was needed to survive. He found being at work actually helped him feel better, if not helped distract him from the dark feelings swelling in his chest. He started going to classes, bought more books to fill his new apartment, bought fish and plants to give him something to care for while he was home.

 

He did everything he could to try and forget how utterly lonely he was, but of course, nothing felt the same as having Hide; warm beside him every night and his peaceful sleeping face in the morning. He missed the way Hide’s eyes would crinkle every time he smiled, or how his hair got horrendously messy when he first got up in the morning. He missed his fruity voice when he spoke, he missed being woken up by his singing when he did chores, he missed his genuinely kind words, he missed his obnoxious yet absolutely caring attitude.

 

He missed absolutely everything about his sweet, loving, warm best friend. He missed his gentle, tentative, understanding lover. He missed his Hide.

 

As the months went by, his love for Hide never diminished and his hope never faltered, but his pain started to ebb.

 

Around the sixth month, Kaneki felt like he could smile without wanting to cry. He went into work, went home, did his homework, ate and went to sleep. He went through the motions of a normal human being would.

 

One day as he and Touka were cleaning up the café, she nudged him with her elbow. She hadn’t seen Hide in more than half a year and after Kaneki started coming back he wasn’t the same.

 

“He still isn’t back yet, is he?” she asked softly, picking up some discarded cups. Kaneki looked up, looking tired from the night’s work. He frowned a bit.

 

“Who?” he asked, still a bit zoned out. Touka frowned deeply at him, looking appalled. She placed a hand on her hip and scoffed.

 

“Don’t play that bullshit with me. You know damn well who I’m talking about. Hide hasn’t come back yet, has he?” she asked.

 

Kaneki nearly flinched at the name. He had been hesitant to say that name, fearing that he would break down yet again. However, he looked down and gave a false smile, scratching his chin just a bit.

 

“No, not yet…But I’m sure he’s okay.” He answered softly, looking away. Touka frowned at him before sighing.

 

“It’s been over half a year…maybe it’s time to look into getting a new o-“ She paused her thought, hearing a cup clatter to the floor. She looked up and was met with a furious look from the other. Kaneki’s eyes were cold and wide, his eyebrows narrowing his eyes in the angriest way she’d ever seen.

 

“I don’t need a replacement.” He fumed and she stepped back a bit.

 

“W-well, it’s been a long time! If he was gonna get fixed, shouldn’t he be back by now?” she snapped back at him.

 

Kaneki grit his teeth.

 

“He’s fine! He’ll be back!” Kaneki shouted, jumping when a hand was placed on his shoulder. He looked up to meet Yomo’s gaze and he frowned before looking down. “I’m sorry Touka.” He apologized, picking up his rag and stepped away, his shoulders slumped.

 

Touka frowned, watching after him before eyeing the man behind her.

 

“Will he be okay?” she asked. Yomo pursed his lips for a moment.

 

“I’m sure they’ll be fine.” He responded, turning his gaze to Kaneki’s small frame, sighing as he started to dry tables and he stood up straight. “I’ll talk to Uta and see how much longer it’s going to take. Watching Kaneki like this is something I don’t want to go on.”

 

With that, Yomo walked out the back of the café, needing to find some sort of solution. Kaneki needed someone in his life, that much was obvious. He was afraid for what Kaneki might do if he were left alone as he was now.

 

Kaneki went home that night, shoulders slumped and his eyes tired. He slipped his shoes off his sore feet, let his coat fall from his shoulders onto a pile beside the door. He looked to his empty house feeling the coldness of it engulfing him. He sighed deeply and turned on some lights, muttering to no one that he was home.

 

He removed his clothing from the day excluding a white tank top and boxers, and flopped onto the couch. He peeked at his phone, flipping through the pages of his home screen with his thumb. No new messages, like always. Nothing interesting, like always. He looked at the little ‘messages’ icon and he pursed his lips, tapping it quietly.

 

It quickly opened up a list of a few names; Touka, Hinami, and at the very bottom of the recent messages was Hide’s name along with a sunflower emoji. Hide had made him put that in there. They were always his favorite flower. Bright like the sun and a symbol of strong friendships…He’d always loved them. Kaneki loved them too. He always tried to keep them in his home. He needed something to brighten the dark atmosphere.

 

He tapped on the name, having forgotten the words passed digitally between them. He scrolled through the messages with a small smile, even laughing at some of their sillier conversations.

 

-Hey, ‘Neki! Shinohara says hi. His daughter has a crush on me.

 

-Oh does she now?

 

-Yep! It’s cute.

 

-She’s twelve, Hide.

 

-So?

 

-Let her down easy?

 

-Of course~ She can do better anyway.

 

-I doubt it.

 

Kaneki had really meant those words. He couldn’t think of a person better for anyone than Hide. He was warm, understanding, intelligent, kind…not to mention handsome. He could only imagine someone not liking him if they didn’t have a thing for blondes.  He continued to scroll down the feed, continuing to read his words. One would think that Hide, being an android, he’d know how to write with correct grammar. Still, it was endearing for him. Even his writing showed his sunshiny attitude.

 

After long, Kaneki found himself tearing up as he read Hide’s kind words over and over, remembering those days as clear as a bell. Hide had worked so hard for him. He was always so kind to him, always protecting him, doing everything he could to make sure he retained a drop of happiness.

 

Kaneki dropped his phone on the floor once it died, moving his hands up to his face to cover it, weeping into his palms as he curled into himself.

 

He didn’t know what to do with himself anymore.

 

He cried himself to sleep once more, hugging onto himself with a desperate need for his missing warmth.

 

* * *

 

 

Loneliness is a killer. No one ever really thinks about it; they try to forget the loneliness they feel. They try to fill it with something else.

 

However,

 

Loneliness refuses to be forgotten.

 

Loneliness, when allowed to grow, when allowed to _fester,_ it _consumes you_. It eats you alive until one day…

 

One day you cease to operate.

 

For a Hybrid child, if you can’t operate, _then what good are you_?

 

It was after Miss Mai passed that it started to get hard. Years into living with Mrs. Aya it became tangible. The emptiness, the loathing, the fear…the absolute loneliness was almost visible in Hide’s eyes. He could see it on Kaneki’s form as he grew. The way his shoulders started to slump with exhaustion, the way his stomach seemed to be almost concave in the morning. The bags under his ever tired eyes stealing the light away from his slivery eyes. The same eyes his mother had. Even sinking with exhaustion, they were beautiful.

 

When Hide awoke the first time, he wasn’t given time to question what was going on. He saw a bright light and then nothing once again as the light dimmed.

 

This happened forty-two times to Hide’s memory and each time the light seemed brighter before fading out.

 

A few times, his creator would speak to him, other times he could hear voices but they weren’t directed toward him. He would try to speak but nothing but the awful sound of metal grating on metal and a high pitched buzz as his voice box tried to produce a voice. The noise went on for as long as he tried before his vision blurred and he was dropped back into the deep nothingness he had grown accustomed to.

 

Come the forty-fifth time, he could finally make out the light was coming from a lamp that rested above him, illuminating his body which he could feel was covered by a blanket. He felt tired, but he couldn’t remember the last time he could see so clearly. He could see the small specks of dust on the glass just before he had to look away. It was so bright…

 

He turned his head to the side, his eyes rotating around to look around the dim room. The tattered couch on the other side of the room was empty. It was familiar, coated with a thin layer of dust. He wondered when the last time that poor couch was used. He looked up to where the dolls clothes hung in varying sizes on a metal rack, hiding the faces of featureless, mannequin-like hybrid children behind the cloth. Hide frowned looking at them, biting his lip. That was him a long time ago… back when he was just a pile of acrylic and silicone.

 

“Oh, You’re awake!” A familiar voice murmured, sounding surprised. Hide turned his head to find where the voice came from. He found the speaker looking at him from afar, most of his body turned toward a computer while his upper body was turned toward him. His eyes, however creepy they were, were eyeing him with curious surprise.

 

Hide gave a small, uncertain nod. He wasn’t sure if he could, or even should speak now. He recognized his face. This was his creator. This was his workshop.

 

Huh…

 

Uta turned completely to face him, scooting closer to him while still on his computer chair.

 

“Can you speak?” he asked softly.

 

Hide made a face, but he opened his mouth and attempted to speak. First, a white noise fuzz and then a whir before a feint fuzzy voice escaped him.

 

“Whe----s K---nnnn----ki?”

 

Uta listened to him, his brows furrowing just a bit at the intrusive voice, before moving to press on his throat. Hide swallowed reflexively as the fingers prodded around his Adam's apple.

 

“Your voice is still giving me trouble…Kaneki Ken is probably at school.” He responded softly, peeling a flap of flesh away from Hide’s neck with great care. He felt around the intricate wires and pushed them aside, causing Hide to gasp in surprise and general discomfort.

 

“Where…Oh! This is the problem.” Uta murmured, seeing the problematic frayed wire which he had missed when he cleaned his vocal mechanism. He clipped it, plugged it and made sure it didn’t interfere with any of the other delicate parts before gently laying the silicone back into place. It merged together into a single piece once again and he smiled.

 

“Go on and speak now.” He ordered. Hide furrowed his brows. He hesitated for a moment before opening his mouth again.

 

“How long have I been asleep?” he asked blinking when his voice came out as clear as day. He reached up to touch his throat before looking down at his arms. They were perfectly clear and normal. His skin was a lightly toasted marshmallow color, much like he remembered. All signs of his blight had disappeared.

 

 “You fixed me?” he asked, amazed. He sat up, looking over what he could see and yes, everything had been repaired and he felt better than ever. Even the usual humming noise that often emanated from his chest had gone quiet.

 

Uta nodded, watching him with a curious eye. Everything seemed to be working correctly. “Yes, but…” he murmured looking away while pushing his hand through the one side of hair that he had. Hide furrowed his brows a bit in suspicion.

 

“But?”

 

“Fixing you took almost a full year.”

 

Hide stared at the other wide eyed as his brain processed the information.

 

‘…Almost a full year’

 

Immediately, Hide jumped up and took Uta by the shoulders. Uta looked up at him in surprise, understanding, but not liking his anger.

 

“What do you mean ‘Almost a year?! Where’s Kaneki? Is he okay?!” the questions poured from his lips in a flurry as his emotions swelled in his belly. Uta put up his hands in defense.

 

“Kaneki Ken is fine. He has since moved out on his own and is attending classes at Kamii university. Yomo keeps tabs on him.” He explained quietly. Hide grit his teeth.

 

“How could you take so long?! He needs me!” He yelled.

 

Uta placed his hands on the man’s shoulders.

 

“Hideyoshi, please calm down. I had to rebuild many of your parts from scratch. Your blight was severe and I had to remove every trace of it. You were an endoskeleton for most of the year. I extended your life by ten years by giving you a thorough cleaning, but it takes time to clean and rebuild. I did it as fast as I could while still doing a quality job.” He explained, watching Hide deflate as he sat back onto the bed.

 

Uta frowned a bit and moved to cover Hide's lower half with the blanket. It was his creation yes, but most fathers wouldn't want to look at their fully grown sons naked. Hide ignored the cool towel being placed over him and he looked down, his brows up turned as he listened.

 

“A whole year…” Hide’s voice broke as his eyes watered. Kaneki had to go through a whole year without him. He had to have been so afraid…so alone….

 

His face fell in his hands as he allowed a sob to shake his frame. How could he be such a failure…How could he screw up so much that Kaneki had to go a year without him? They’d been together every day for over ten years before that…

 

Uta touched Hide’s shoulder hesitantly. Ugh, emotions were not his field.

 

“If…If it’s any consolation, Kaneki never asked for a replacement.”

 

Hide was silent for a moment before he looked up. Tear tracks had streaked his face, and his eyes were still a bit watery. He sniffed up some faux snot before moving to wipe away the tears on his right side using his forearm.

 

“He didn’t?” He asked.

 

Uta shook his head. “Never. In fact, I have a recent payment from him. It came a week ago.” He said quietly, picking up an envelope from his desk and offered it to the other.

 

“Every payment comes with a letter too. Most of them are simply asking me to take care of you, and I believe that I have. You can go back after a physical, if you like. The address is on the envelope.” He continued quietly.

 

Hide looked over the envelope. The address was neatly written, rehearsed even. God, how many times had Kaneki had to of written this to get it so perfect? He shook his head of the intrusive thoughts and tore off the address with a shaking hand, running his other through his long spiky hair. It hung past his shoulders now, due to a year of not being cut.

 

“I need to go home as soon as possible.” Hide finally answered looking up at his creator. Uta nodded, standing up.

 

“Then come with me.”

 

* * *

 

 

Kaneki walked home from a long day at the café, rubbing the back of his neck as he gave one of those full body yawns. He sighed deeply, staring at his feet as he walked.

 

Oh…He scuffed his work shoes.

 

Oh well.

 

Cars passed by without him noticing, the only thing he felt was the cool brush of wind as it followed rapidly after the vehicle. No, Kaneki had his mind elsewhere.

 

He turned onto his street and pulled his keys from his tote bag when he noticed a car sitting idle in front of his apartment. It wasn’t familiar so it was a little worrisome. He 

hid behind a light post as he watched someone, it looked like a man, climb out wearing what looked like brown slacks and a white shirt, along with a baseball cap with the bill tugged low. He frowned. Who the hell was this, and why were they at his house?

 

He watched them walk up toward the door, their body language all kinds of weird. They stopped half way to the door, took a deep breath and continued walking. They knocked on the door, waited and knocked again. Kaneki squinted suspiciously before deciding that if this person was willing to knock on his door then they couldn’t mean any harm. What kind of a robber knocks on the door first?

 

He cautiously walked toward his home, biting his lip as the person, okay, they were definitely a man now, moved to look into his windows before sighing and turning to sit on the steps. His shoulders slumped a bit as he rested his forearms on his knees.  Kaneki frowned but kept walking. Something was so familiar about them already. Maybe it was those long legs of his, or maybe their broad shoulders that didn't quite match those hands...

 

Then he saw it.

 

The man took a deep breath, pulling off the cap and ran his hand through his blonde hair...Blonde hair like sunshine and a gently angled face by which the long hair had come to frame. Even looking down, Kaneki could make out those beautiful chocolate brown eyes of his.

 

Kaneki stood on the sidewalk, his eyes wide and watering as he looked over the man’s beautiful face. It was a face he had dreamed about for over a year.

 

“H…Hide?” Kaneki croaked out, watching as the man looked up with a start.

 

Hide stared at Kaneki, his eyes wide as he looked over Kaneki, his Kaneki, standing before him after so long.

 

He’d changed so much.

 

His dark hair which he had usually combed every morning before class or work was completely a mess, like he'd slept in that morning and didn't have time to clean up. Even through his large sweater, he could tell the man had not been eating as much as he should have been. His face had thinned out, much more than he remembered. Light purple bags hung under his watering silver eyes. And even after this change, his Kaneki was still so beautiful.

 

Kaneki took a step toward him and Hide stood up quickly.

 

“Kaneki…” Hide murmured back, his fingers twitching just a bit as he watched the air leave Kaneki’s chest as if he’d been punched. He wanted to run and hug the other to him and let him go again. He wanted to hold Kaneki until the end of days, and tell him he was never going anywhere again. He wanted so much to be by the others side once again, but he knew he shouldn't rush.  It had been a year after all. Was Kaneki angry at him? Did he even need him anymore?

 

Hide took a deep breath to himself and through the lump in his throat; he gave a warm, yearning smile.

 

Of course Kaneki still needed him. Those tears weren’t angry.

 

Kaneki took another step, and then another, his body trembling.

 

“Hide-!” he breathed out and Hide came forward, unable to stop himself any longer. They stood apart for a few moments, tearfully admiring each other’s faces before Kaneki fell into Hide’s open arms, hugging onto the man as tightly as he could.

 

Kaneki sobbed into Hide’s shoulder, the noise only getting louder as Hide's warm, strong arms wound so lovingly around him.

 

“I-I thought…I thought I’d never get you back…” he wept, gripping onto the back of Hide’s shirt for dear life. He was so warm…He was here and he was alive in his arms. “I waited s-so long…” he cried, burying his face into Hide’s neck as the man tenderly pet his hair and hugged him close.

 

“Sorry I took so long…I’m not going anywhere, Kaneki. I promise.” He whispered softly into his hair, kissing the top of his head gently. His smell was that of fresh coffee and old books, along with the smell of sweet cherry blossoms. He was still using that cheap shampoo… It was a smell he’d missed so much. He hugged Kaneki closer, his brows pushing together as tears welled in his eyes.

 

“I-I missed you so much…” Kaneki whispered, touching his chest and then his neck, soon finding the courage to touch Hide’s face. He looked up at the man with a shaky smile, cupping his now wet cheeks with his hands. “Want to, oh goodness, sorry, I’m a mess… Want to come inside for some coffee?” He asked softly, looking up at him with a small smile. Hide leaned into the warm hands and kissed his palm gently, giving a small chuckle.

 

“Anything you want,” He said softly, pressing their foreheads together gently.

 

Kaneki nodded, sniffling softly as he led Hide into his apartment. Upon looking at his apartment, he was suddenly very flustered. There were clothes in a pile beside the door and books were strewn about because of a late night study session from the night before. He hurried around trying to tidy up while apologizing profusely.

 

“I’m so sorry…It’s such a mess…” Kaneki mumbled quietly. Hide watched him scurry around for a few moments before quietly shaking his head and grasped Kaneki’s hand gently to stop him. Kaneki looked up at him and quickly averted his gaze, flushing deeply in embarrassment as Hide took his face in his hands. He touched Hide’s wrist.

 

“I-I’m sorry…”

 

“You don’t need to be.”

 

“But it’s filthy.”

 

“I don’t mind a mess.”

 

Kaneki allowed himself to look up at Hide’s handsome face, seeing his skin was so much warmer. It was full of life. He’d forgotten how beautiful his Hide was. Hide was gazing down at him, holding his face in his hands; his lips curved in a gentle smile that made his eyes crinkle a little.

 

“Kaneki… Can I..?” he trailed, moving his palms to tilt Kaneki’s head up just a bit.

 

Kaneki felt his chest tighten at the words; a soft puff of air involuntarily escaping him as he held Hide’s wrist tighter. He hadn’t been held in almost a year, much less kissed. He’d spent all his nights alone begging anyone in the skies who would listen to bring his Hide back. Now, his prayers were answered…what was he waiting for?

 

Hide glanced down to Kaneki’s full lips and back up to his eyes, waiting patiently as Kaneki thought it over.

 

 “Yes. Please, yes…” he breathed softly, pulling him a bit closer by the red collar of his shirt. Hide smiled softly, leaning in close and pressed their lips together with a soft hum of pleasure. Kaneki made a tiny sound in his throat, allowing the kiss to happen. It took him a small moment to kiss back but when he did, he didn’t hold back. He let his arms slide around Hide’s neck, pulling the man flush against him.

 

He’d gone so long… so many nights had passed alone, so many lonely nights. He couldn’t help himself now. He tilted his head and deepened the kiss, catching Hide a little off guard. Hide gave a tiny grunt when he felt the man’s tongue slide past his lips and he stopped his side of the kiss for a moment. Kaneki could sense his hesitation and he pulled back with a quiet pant.

 

“What’s wrong?” he asked. Hide swallowed dryly, his cheeks a little flushed and he shook his head. He’d forgotten how Kaneki’s kisses took his breath away.

 

“Nothing’s wrong…I guess it’s been a while for the both of us.” He said softly, moving his hands to rest on Kaneki’s slender waist. He frowned at how thin he was, but decided now wasn’t the time to scold him about it. He leaned to gently kiss his lips again.

“I've missed you Ken...” He murmured softly, kissing his lips again before kissing his jaw. He paused his movements, feeling Kaneki fingering at the tip button of his shirt and he pulled back just a bit. He needed to ask.

 

“You want to have sex with me, don't you?” he asked softly, and Kaneki flushed deeply, his hands hovering over the second button on Hide’s shirt before he pulled them away.

 

Did he? Or was he just... He stepped away from Hide, looking down at his feet. He furrowed his brows, thinking about what he really wanted. Over the year, he’d be lying if he said that he never wanted to. He’d be lying if he said he had never thought about it. Hide frowned at the other before sighing and moving to sit on the couch.

 

“It's been over a year Kaneki.” He murmured, picking his hat up from the floor beside his feet and fondled it in his hands.

 

Kaneki looked over to him, his brows lowering over his eyes.

 

“You think I don't know that?”

 

Hide looked up at the change in tone, his brows knitting together.

 

“What?”

 

“You think I don't know that you've been gone for that long? Do you have any idea how-” Kaneki paused, seeing Hide shrink back from him and he sighed deeply, looking away.

 

Hide watched him for a moment, wracking his brain to try and think of something to say to the other, coming up with nothing but,

 

“...I'm sorry.”

 

Kaneki's frown deepened into a scowl. Hide shouldn't be apologizing to him. Hide had done nothing wrong. Kaneki sighed through his nose and moved to sit beside the man, resting his head against the man's shoulder.

 

“You didn’t do anything wrong Hide. I did.” He murmured, gently touching Hide’s hand and coaxed his fingers around Hide’s palm. Hide allowed it.

 

“I should have taken better care of you. I should have noticed you were hurting…I looked it up online, that kind of deterioration happens over months of mistreatment. You were suffering for so long and I didn’t even notice.”

 

“I should have told you.”

 

“Could you have?” Kaneki asked him and Hide averted his eyes.

 

“I could have. I didn’t want you to worry,” He explained softly. “You already had your job and college and your aunt to worry about and I had always been your rock…I didn’t want you to know that even I was failing you. I was afraid, so I kept it to myself.”

 

Kaneki listened, pursing his lips a bit before looking down. He sighed deeply and leaned against the other.

 

“You’re too good for me.” He mumbled softly, before looking up to the blonde, touching his cheek gently. “If something’s wrong, you need to tell me so I can help you. I’m here to take care of you, period. You come first.”

 

Hide leaned into the warm hand and met the man’s gaze. “Are you upset with me?”

 

Kaneki scoffed softly at the question and shook his head. He pulled back, rubbing the tears from his eyes.

 

“How could I be upset when you’re finally back with me?” He smiled, though the smile was a little shaky as he reached up with his free hand to touch Hide’s cheek, his finger’s brushing under Hide’s eyes to caress the soft dusting of freckles there.

 

“It’s amazing…You look so healthy. I’d almost forgotten what that was like.” He said, his thumb brushing under those odd yet beautiful brown eyes of his. He watched as they closed, his long eyelashes brushing over his thumb nail and he inhaled shakily when Hide leaned into his hand once more. His skin was warm and soft, not like it was on that night.

 

Hide seemed to put the feeling of his hands to memory, holding his hand to his face before looking down.

 

“I wish I could say the same to you, Ken,” he said as he straightened up from the other. He gave a small smile. “Do you need someone to remind you to eat? You’ve gotten so thin.” He chided, touching over Kaneki’s side’s gently. His small smile fell a little, feeling Kaneki’s ribs under his shirt. He furrowed his brows before looking up to Kaneki’s face, worry clear in his eyes. Kaneki frowned deeply and before he could pull away, Hide stood, placing his hands on Kaneki’s shoulders. Kaneki blinked a few times at the swift movement and looked up at the now serious Hide.

 

“I’m gonna take care of you! Better than I ever did before! Kaneki is Priority Number One!” He said before cupping Kaneki’s cheeks and kissed the man’s uncertain lips. He quickly walked away while Kaneki was still processing what just happened.

 

Kaneki blinked a few times before shaking his head.

 

“Wait, what? Hide?” he called, standing up and hurried after him to the kitchen. He found the man looking intently in his fridge, his eyes glowing blue as he scanned over every item then moved onto the cabinets, doing the same thing there.

 

“Hide, what are you- Hide!” he whined, following after Hide as he scanned everything, jumping when the man stopped. He frowned, waiting for Hide’s eyes to go back to normal and he sighed deeply.

 

“Hide, what on earth are you doing?” he asked and Hide smiled.

 

“I’m making a list.” He answered as he rubbed his eyes. He hadn’t used the scan feature in a long while. Kaneki frowned. “A list of what? For _what_?” he asked and Hide sighed.

 

“Kaneki, you’re really unhealthy right now. Your skin is pale, you’re too thin and I’m pretty sure your hair isn’t as thick as it used to be. I’m gonna do my best to make you healthy again. I’m sorry I was away for so long.” He murmured softly, gently touching Kaneki’s cheek before looking around again.

 

Kaneki frowned before sighing. This was definitely the Hide he remembered. He watched Hide as he went around the room, mapping everything to his memory.

 

“What are you looking for now?” Kaneki asked, moving to start cleaning while Hide was distracted. Hide said he didn’t mind mess, but it was making him anxious. Hide stood on his tip toes, looking on top of the fridge and saw nothing but cereal.

 

“I’m looking for some cook books. Where are they? I know you have ‘em.” He said, stepping back from the fridge to keep looking. Kaneki frowned.

 

“Why?” he asked and Hide turned to him.

 

“When was the last time you had a nice, home cooked meal?” He asked and Kaneki furrowed his brows.

 

“I…I don’t know. I’m sure it hasn’t been that long ago-”

 

“The fact that you don’t remember tells me you haven’t in a long time! So I need to take care of you. I’m gonna spoil you.” He said cheerfully.

 

Kaneki frowned before sighing deeply, figuring he couldn’t fight Hide on this. If there was one thing he’d always been, it was determined.

 

“Cook books are in the third drawer by the sink.” He said softly and Hide smiled, kissed his cheek and trotted over to the designated drawer.   

 

Kaneki watched as Hide pulled out three cook books, opened one and quietly started to flip through it, his eyes glowing blue once again. He sighed softly and let him do his thing, starting to clean the dishes in the sink while Hide memorized the entirety of his recipes, jumping as Hide closed it quickly and put it back.

 

“How do hamburgers sound for dinner?” He asked, moving to gently hug Kaneki around his waist. Kaneki blushed at the sudden warmth.

 

“Hide you don’t have to-“

 

“Kaneki~ I know they’re your favorite. And you’ve got all the ingredients for a couple of hamburgers and a salad.” He informed and Kaneki sighed deeply.

 

“You’re not gonna let me say no, are you?”

 

“Not in this case.”

 

Hide grinned. Kaneki sighed softly and nodded.

 

“Alright, but please let me clean up first at least,” he said and felt soft lips at the base of his neck.

 

“Sure thing, Ken.” He said softly, pulling his arms back. Kaneki smiled a little when he found himself immediately missing the warmth from Hide’s arms and he sighed quietly, continuing about his chores.

 

* * *

 

 

Hide hummed softly to himself as he cleaned the dinner dishes, smiling as the warm water washed over his skin. He remembered when even luke-warm water would burn his skin. Blighted flesh reacted viciously to temperature change and for the few months it grew it made doing the chores Mrs. Aya gave them excruciating. He had smiled through it however; he had never wanted Kaneki to know.

 

Now, warm water was a pleasurable feeling, as was doing menial tasks as he used to. His body, as new as it felt, still felt stiff from lack of use. Like a new shoe straight out of the box, his new body needed to be broken in.

 

“Hide, you almost finished?” Kaneki’s voice called, getting nearer as he walked into the kitchen. Hide looked behind him, looking the other with a little smile. He was happy Kaneki was so comfortable around him, entering the kitchen with a sweater and underwear. He continued to wash the sudsy dish in his hands.

 

“Just about, why you waiting for me?” he asked curiously and Kaneki stepped closer, pressing his forehead into Hide’s back and hugged his waist.

 

“Only since a year ago,” he mumbled and Hide paused his movements before sighing softly, appreciating Kaneki’s warm arms around him. It felt like so long ago…

 

“Give me a moment…I only have a dish left.” He informed. He felt Kaneki nod against his shoulder blades and he sighed softly, finishing the last of the dishes and placed them into the dish washer. He dried his hands and took Kaneki’s in his own.

 

Kaneki smiled up at him, looking tired and he led Hide back to his bedroom. It was slightly cluttered with a small twin bed on a metal frame next to a window and a large fish tank in the corner. Four fish swam around quietly, the filter being the only noise in the little room. Adjacent to the fish tank was a large shelf full of books, many from Kaneki’s father’s collection and some from his various college classes. He noticed there was a little corner of manga, many of which were his own and some seemed to be Kaneki’s.

 

Hide let go of Kaneki’s hand and started to unbutton his shirt so he could ready himself for bed.

 

“I didn’t know you liked manga Kaneki.” He said softy, looking back to the man who had sat himself on the bed. Kaneki looked up.

 

“Hm? Manga?” he asked, looking down to his bookshelf and he flushed a bit. “Oh! Oh, um I don’t really…I just knew you liked them so…” He explained. “I figured you’d want something to read while I was at class or something.” He said softly, shrugging his shoulders a bit while itching his chin. In all reality, he bought them because the main character’s best friend reminded him of Hide. And Hide had mentioned liking the series a long while back, so he figured why not kill two birds with one stone.

 

Hide arched a brow at the man’s behavior before smiling to himself and shrugged off his shirt. He started to unbuckle his belt, humming softly.

 

Kaneki watched him quietly, admiring the long strong muscles of Hide’s back from the comfort of his bed. He unconsciously pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as he watched the man slide his pants down from his hips and he swallowed dryly. All the need that he used to feel for the man, the lust, the want can rushing back to his heart and his loins. When Hide turned around, Kaneki caught a glimpse of the bulge in his underwear and he quickly looked away, blushing deeply.

 

“W-wow Hide…”

 

Hide arched a brow, frowning a bit. “What’s your problem?” he asked as he walked over to the other. “You’ve seen me naked before, why’s this any different?” he asked as he moved closer to the bed.

 

Kaneki kneaded the comforter in his hands, not meeting Hide’s gaze.

 

“You…uh…you’ve grown quite a bit Hide…” he said shyly.

 

Hide looked down at himself before shrugging and crawled over to the other, kissing his lips lightly before scooting under the blankets. Kaneki watched him, gasping softly as Hide’s arm wrapped around his waist and pulled him under.

 

Or…

 

At least that’s what he attempted. Kaneki was just scooted closer with his butt bunching the blankets up between them.

 

“H-Hide what are you even trying to do??” he whined softly as Hide started to adjust his body some more. Hide grunted softly.

 

“I want you to cuddle me, you dork.” He replied, looking up at him. Kaneki looked down at his semi glowing eyes before blinking.

 

“Oh.” He murmured before quickly moving under the blanket to curl up against the man. He gave a soft sigh feeling Hide wrap his arms around him and he suddenly felt so safe and warm. He pressed his hand softly against Hide’s chest, feeling the firm ‘muscle’ beneath his flesh and more importantly the artificial heartbeat that resided there. He felt Hide’s thumb rub circles in his back and his soft breath gently ruffling his hair with every breath he took.

 

“Your chest doesn’t make noise anymore.” He said softly, tracing the dips and curves of Hide’s chest and neck lightly with his finger. Hide chuckled and Hide looked up to him curiously.

 

“Uta practically rebuilt me. I feel better than I have in years.” He said softly before remembering something. “He told me you never asked for a replacement.” He murmured softly.

 

Kaneki shook his head. “I never thought I needed one.” He replied, blinking when Hide hugged him closer a moment later.

 

“What did I ever do to deserve you, Ken?” Hide asked, his voice cracking a bit. Kaneki pursed his lips before sighing softly and hugged onto the other.

 

“I love you, Hide.” He said softly and Hide nuzzled his hair quietly.

 

“I love you too, Ken.” He murmured softly sighing as Kaneki relaxed against him. He caressed the man’s back, gently soothing him into a quiet slumber. He hummed softly as he always had, resting his cheek against his silky hair. It had been over a year since he’d held Kaneki like this and in that half a year; it was like nothing had changed and anything that had, changed for the better.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahaha, so guess who lied- it was me. A great friend of mine bought me a computer charger so I was able to finally finish this chapter. Sorry it's so late, life is awful but fanfiction is a way of life. I genuinely tried to make this chapter something you guys would enjoy so, please enjoy-w-


	9. Comings and Goings of a Warm Summer's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki finally finds solace in Hide's relationship, and finds it in him to go back to work. Hide comes to visit Antieku for the first time since hes come back, and forgives a past acquaintance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys.   
> I know it's been almost a whole year since I've updated and I realize that this was because after waiting for almost three years to see something that never came, I was bored with Tokyo ghoul and couldn't find it in myself to write more for a series that I just had no more interest in.   
> However, I just couldn't help but write a silly little ending to this thing. It's been a while ride and a stressful year, and I hope you can all forgive me for the wait.   
> So, After a years wait, i hope you can enjoy this final chapter. Thank you so much for all your kind words and all your support. Thank you for reading and I hope we can all go on to better pastures.

In the few days that Hide had returned, thinks felt like how they used to be. They felt warm, airy- like a dream.

Over the year, Kaneki had only let his anxiety grow, often having a hard time sleeping and even more often than that, would wake up as soon as he could feel the warm sun on his face. It had become an exhausting cycle that he just accepted. Sometimes he would just wake up even if he couldn't feel the sun on his skin, and would sit there, thinking of his crushing loneliness and his inability to go anywhere in life.

But now-

Now waking up didn't feel like such a chore. It didn't feel like he was just waking up to another hellish day on Earth. Now every morning he was met with the soft sounds of someone breathing beside him. When he opened his eyes, he got to see the warm peaceful sleeping face of Hide, nuzzled up against a pillow.

Hide slept a lot since he got back but Kaneki didn't mind. Honestly, Kaneki wasn't quite used to having another person in his house and often would just pop up behind him. It was rather terrifying at times. So the times when Kaneki finds Hide sleeping on the couch or curled up comfortably in bed are nice. The best times are waking up to Hide sleeping beside him. He always woke up with a smile, even a small laugh, depending on how Hide looked upon his awakening. This morning, Kaneki woke up to an interesting scene.

Hide had taken up about three fourths of the bed, sprawled out in nothing but underwear. He was using none of the pillows and only one of his hands was covered by the thin quilt that Kaneki had on the bed. He discerned that he himself had probably stolen the blankets and rather than steal them back Hide had just accepted it and took what he could- falling asleep gripping the blanket.

Hide's head was turned away from him, the turn causing a soft snore to emanate from the man every time his chest rose with a breath. His short blonde hair; short because Hide begged for it to be cut the second day he'd been there, stuck up wildly in various different directions. Kaneki couldn't see Hide's face, but he was almost certain that his mouth hung open, almost definitely allowing some drool to escape him.

Curious, Kaneki moved and gingerly crawled over the other, reaching and cupping his cheek to gently turn his face toward himself, but slipped and three of his fingers fell into Hide's open mouth. Kaneki shuttered and stiffened feeling Hide almost immediately wrinkle his nose and clamp his mouth shut around his fingers, causing Kaneki to yelp and Hide to snap his eyes open.

Hide let out a quick yell, releasing Kaneki's fingers. Kaneki snapped his hand back and Hide sat up, looking very disheveled and _very_ confused.

“What the hell Kaneki?!” He said the sleep clear in his voice and his eyes were struggling to adjust to the light in the room. Kaneki held his hands to his chest, also looking just as horrified as Hide did.

“I'm sorry! I wasn't doing anything weird!”

“What do you mean weird?! You shoved your fingers in my mouth!”

“I slipped! Y-you're the one who closed your mouth on my fingers!”

Hide shut his mouth, furrowing his brows in a defensive look. “W-well why are you feeling up my face!?” he snapped back, pulling the blanket up to his chest, feeling slightly violated.

Kaneki gave the same defensive look back.  “I wasn't feeling up your face! I was just-” He paused, looking over just how ridiculous Hide looked. His hair was a mess and now he was holding the blanket up like a woman who'd been caught naked and unaware in the shower. He let out a small snicker and Hide only puffed up more, now blushing.

“W-what's so funny?” he snapped, his voice going up a few octaves and cracking due to his embarrassment, making Kaneki laugh a little harder.

“I-I'm so sorry” He laughed, rubbing his tired eyes with a little smile, “You just look so silly Hide.” he giggled and Hide pursed his lips with a furrowed brow, looking down to himself before dropping the blanket and flushed lightly as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“S-shut up...” he muttered, though a little curve in his lips showed that he also found this entire situation to be pretty funny. Kaneki watched him laugh for a little bit, giggling to himself before moving to cup Hide’s cheeks and gently leaned to kiss the corner of his mouth.

“I’m sorry I embarrassed you.” He said softly, smiling when Hide took his hand. He met the man’s gaze and Hide smiled gently.

“No sorries here.” He murmured leaning up to kiss Kaneki’s waiting lips. Kaneki let a soft noise escape him, his eyelids falling closed as Hide’s warm lips pressed firmer to his own. Hide always had the softest lips. Kaneki moved closer to the man, settling himself in Hide’s lap and Hide hummed against Kaneki’s lips.

“This is new.” Hide murmured softly, his hands moving naturally to Kaneki’s slender hips. Kaneki rested his forearms on either of Hide’s shoulders, folding his fingers together behind Hide’s head.

“Is it too new?” he asked, closing his eyes when Hide pressed their foreheads together.

“I don’t think so.” He replied, pulling the man a little closer to him. Kaneki shivered a bit from the closeness and he bit his lip.

“Hey, Hide?”

“Yeah?”

Kaneki looked up to meet Hide’s eyes, furrowing his brows. He was afraid to ask, and it didn’t help that Hide was looking at him with those smoldering, expectant eyes of his.

“Well…”

“Well?”

Kaneki looked away, the blush that had only been dusting his cheeks colored his pale skin.

“I…um…” He mumbled out, humming softly when Hide kissed his lips gently. Pillowy soft like always.

“I want you too Kaneki…Its weird, we’re not supposed to feel this way toward our masters unless we’re told to. I guess I’m just old” he said with a little laugh. Kaneki laughed a little too, pulling Hide closer to him, letting their chests press together.

“S-so, so you want to?” he asked softly, shuttering a little when Hide’s hands slid underneath his shirt to feel at the skin of his sides. “Please say you do...” he breathed out, tilting his head back as Hide leaned to kiss his jaw and neck.

“I’ve never said no, have I?” he asked softly, the man’s voice resonating in Kaneki’s increasingly blank head. Kaneki shook his head after a second. He hadn’t, not to his knowledge anyway. Hide grazed his teeth over Kaneki’s collarbone, sliding his hands up to remove Kaneki’s shirt. Kaneki complied, raising his arms and leaning in to kiss Hide’s waiting lips as the shirt was moved out of the way.

Hide savored the kiss, feeling Kaneki squirm to get closer to him. He slid his hands under the man’s bottom, laughing lightly at the little yelp that caused. He lifted him and pulled him close so their bodies were pressed flush against one another. He gave a small grunt as Kaneki’s weight rested on him and he looked up to the other. Kaneki smiled down to him and he brushed some of his messy hair out of his face, his fingers tracing the shape of Hide’s face before moving to cup his cheeks and kiss him softly.

Hide returned the kiss, deepening it after a few moments of softly kissing one another. He moved to lay Kaneki down, his spine tingling at the keen that escaped the other. He licked at Kaneki’s lips, biting his bottom one gently. Kaneki allowed him access, hooking his legs around Hide’s waist and pressed his heels against his lower back to bring him closer. Hide groaned softly as he ground down against Kaneki and he hid his face in Kaneki’s neck. Kaneki rolled against him, his thigh’s twitching at the friction.

Hide was kissing at his neck again and he groaned, dragging his nails down Hide’s shoulders.

“Hide…” he breathed, arching his chest as Hide’s lips started to trail downward.

“Hey Kaneki, can I take these off?” he asked, sliding his hands down Kaneki’s sides. Kaneki looked up at him, in a bit of a daze but he nodded, bringing his knuckle to his teeth. He rolled his hips up as Hide pulled, hissing softly when the cool air met his length.

“Woah…” Hide murmured softly, running his hand sown Kaneki’s lower belly and noticed his cock twitch just a little. He smiled.

“Missed me, didn’t it?” he asked, grunting as a pillow hit him in the face.

“Stop being embarrassing.” Kaneki whined, inhaling shakily when he felt lips against his sternum and warm hands against his hips.

“Sorry, sorry…relax okay?” he asked softly, kissing an uneven trail down Kaneki’s slender belly. Kaneki realized slowly what Hide was doing and his hand flew up to cover his mouth. Hide held Kaneki’s hips, raising them the closer he got to his length until gently taking it in his hand. Kaneki squeezed his mouth shut with his hands.

“H-Hide…are you sure?” he asked. He hadn’t showered…Hide nodded, kissing the base of it while running his thumb up the underside of it. Kaneki whimpered softly and Hide chuckled.

“I want to Kaneki. Don’t worry, just tell me if it doesn’t feel okay.” He said quietly, looking down at him before starting to lick wetly over the shaft. Kaneki had grown quite a bit since he’d done something like this with him last. He pressed his lips to the head, smiling a little to himself as he watched Kaneki tremble and squirm.

“How’s it feel?” he asked softly, opening his mouth and gently closing it around the head with a soft hum. Kaneki gripped the sheets tightly, gasping harshly when Hide pressed his head down on him to take more of him into his mouth. It was so warm… His hips jolted and Hide grunted softly, pursing his lips to try and stop the man’s cock from being shoved down his throat. He squeezed Kaneki’s hips a little, looking up to him as if to silently ask if he was done and when Kaneki nodded to him, Hide closed his eyes and started moving his head again, tonguing along the underside each time he lowered his head. Kaneki sucked in his belly, moaning into his hands as Hide continued and he did his best not to thrust up into the man’s warm mouth. He managed to watch the other as he moved his head, keeping his eyes open just enough only to close them as Hide pressed his head down till his hair brushed his belly.

“H-Hide p-please…” he whined softly. He was going to come way too fast if Hide kept deep throating him like he was. Hide pulled off and looked up at him, his hand not pausing on the length.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice a little hoarser than usual. Cock was a bit hard on the vocal membranes. Kaneki blushed deeper and bit his lip.

“Y-your throat is too tight. I’ll come…” he mumbled softly, looking away when Hide looked at him with a bit of surprise.

“You’ll come that fast Kaneki?” he asked, raising his brows and Kaneki whined loudly.

“Don’t ask questions like that…” He said, looking up when Hide sat up and moved to remove the underwear he’d been wearing.

“Hey Kaneki, the lube is in the dresser, right?” he asked kicking off his underwear toward the closet. Kaneki gaped a little looking at Hide’s nude body before managing a small nod.

“Uh huh…W-wait who’s gonna top?” he asked as Hide trotted over to the dresser and opened the top drawer to find Kaneki’s lube. He gave a small snicker at the fact that it looked like a new bottle, yet it was half empty. He then looked back to Kaneki who had since sat up.

“Doesn’t matter to me really. Do you want to?” he asked and Kaneki bit his lip, closing his legs a little.

It hadn’t been long since Kaneki had touched himself thinking of Hide. He always thought about his warmth, his presence, his smell…his taste…He often got off to the idea of what it would be like to have Hide against him, inside of him too. However, after Hide had left he hadn’t thought of being the one to be inside of Hide. Would that work? He knew Hide had a hole down there, he’d seen it the last time they had gotten intimate together and even sooner last week when they showered together (Hide had bent down to clean his legs and he snuck a peek), but did it work that way? Would Hide feel it?  How would it feel for _him_? Now he was curious.

“Can I? I won’t get stuck or anything, will I?” he asked finally and Hide gave him the most confused look.

“Why would you get stuck?” He asked and Kaneki whined a little.

“I don’t know, you’re not supposed to fist androids!” he replied and Hide furrowed his brows.

“You want to fist me??” he asked and Kaneki groaned.

“No I don’t I just…Don’t you have gears and stuff up there?”  Kaneki asked while Hide walked closer.

The confusion didn’t leave Hide’s expression as he laid the lube down between them.

“I have a very sophisticated skeletal and support system, working with a special set of neurological and kinetic systems that help my body move and function. So, no, and my asshole was specifically made for sex Ken.” Hide explained, deadpanning the last part and Kaneki got more red.

“W-well, I didn’t know…”

“What do you think that was for?”

“Pooping??”

“I don’t poop Ken.”

Kaneki groaned softly and leaned his head into the man’s shoulder, hiding his face into the crook of Hide’s neck. Hide gently hugged him closer.

“you can top if you want Kaneki, but I get to top next time.” Hide murmured softly. “it’ll be easier this way.” He said with a light smile.

Kaneki looked up from Hide’s shoulder after giving a small nod in agreement.

“It won’t hurt, right?” he asked softly and Hide shook his head.

“That’s what it was made for. Still, we should use a lot of lube…also we should hurry cus I’m getting kinda soft here.” He said and Kaneki jumped up a little.

“Sorry!” He said, moving to quickly lay Hide down. Hide grunted softly and shifted a little to get comfortable against the bed and Kaneki bit his lip.

“S-sor-“ He pursed his lips when Hide pressed his finger against them.

“No sorry. Just kiss me and get yourself ready.” He said softly, pulling Kaneki closer and opening his legs up for the man to get between them. Kaneki swallowed shyly before nodding and moved closer against the other, pressing their bodies against each other.

“I’ll go slow.” He said softly, leaning in to gently Kiss Hide’s lips again, settling into a small moment of gentle, loving kisses. He slowly moved against Hide, absently grinding their cocks together in a soft, uneven movement as they settled into a much more comfortable silence.

Hide ran his fingers through Kaneki’s soft hair, appreciating the feel of the silky strands between his fingers and the warm, intimate feeling of Kaneki’s mouth on his own. He pulled away for a soft gasp the moment he felt Kaneki’s hands on him, moving over his thighs and he gave a small hum as Kaneki pulled away from him. Kaneki sat up on his knees, caressing Hide’s firm thighs, appreciating the look of the man beneath him. He looked so warm, so inviting. His chest rose and fell, deep and slightly uneven breaths as those always so warm brown eyes watching him with a quiet wanting beneath those peculiar irises. He ran his hands down Hide’s belly, feeling the muscles tighten beneath his fingertips. He was always overwhelmed by how beautiful Hide was.

“I…I should use lube, right?” he asked and Hide simply nodded, not wanting to explain further and derail them again.

“That would be good. Don’t be afraid to make a mess.” Hide replied softly, his teeth peeking out to bite over his full bottom lip as he watched Kaneki pour the lube onto his fingers and move it around to warm it between his fingertips.

“I’m gonna put them in first, kay?” he asked, gently pressing his fingers against the man’s hole. Hide inhaled a little sharply before nodding. The lube was still cold but it was sure to warm up shortly. They both took a small breath as Kaneki slipped one finger inside.

Hide felt warm inside. That was the first thing Kaneki took to note. He felt warm and quite tight around his finger, but he seemed to loosen up pretty quickly. Kaneki moved his finger around, licking his lips as Hide let himself moan and fidget under him.

“Does it hurt?” he asked softly and Hide shook his head.

“Not at all, it’s a little uncomfortable though…Move it more maybe?” Hide said softly, inhaling shakily as Kaneki complied to his request.

“Y-yeah, like that.” He finished softly and Kaneki gave a small smile. It looked like Hide was enjoying it. He was relieved. He looked down at the man, focusing on what he was doing. Once Hide had gotten fully erected again, he added a second finger and continued to move them. He tried not to imagine what being inside of him, not wanting to get to the real thing and have it end prematurely, but god was it hard. With every gasp and moan that left from Hide’s lips, he felt the warmth build between his highs. He wanted in, and he wanted it bad.

After working his fingers for a few minutes, and getting quite good at it, He bit his lip.

“Hide…” he asked, his voice sounding a little strained. Hide looked up, his eyes a tad bit dazed and he nodded, understanding what Kaneki wanted from him.

“Go ahead.” He replied softly after catching his breath. He rolled his hips a little as Kaneki pulled out his fingers, making Kaneki furrow his brows a little and he watched as Kaneki moved to start lubing up his cock.

Kaneki let out a sigh of relief the moment his cool, lubed hand made contact with his throbbing length and he hummed softly in pleasure as he gave a few strokes to ready himself.

“You ready?” he asked gently, moving to get into a more comfortable position between Hide’s legs. Hide spread his legs a little, allowing Kaneki between them and he smiled lightly to the man.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” He murmured breathily, pursing his lips as he felt the man press against him. He wasn’t sure what to expect, considering he’d never thought to probe down there, but nevertheless, he was excited and a tad bit nervous. He looked up to Kaneki, exhaling shakily as Kaneki took up his thighs against his chest.

Kaneki gave the man an equally nervous but somewhat reassuring smile.

“I’ll go slow, don’t worry.” He murmured softly before taking a small breath and gently pressing against the other before the tip pressed past the opening and the rest of the head followed.

Kaneki furrowed his brows, holding Hide’s thighs a little tighter. He looked down to Hide who looked like he was holding his breath. He bit his lip and slowly slid the rest of the way in, not feeling a whole lot of resistance. He watched Hide’s eyebrows unfurrow and raise to knit over his tightly shut eyes and felt his back arch beneath him, making it a little easier to settle himself deep inside. Hide had covered his mouth and moaned through his tightly clamped fingers, muffling the sound nicely.

Kaneki felt his heart swell a little as he breathed, feeling so close to Hide for the first time since they became more than friends. He felt so warm and so real, he knew he’d never have to be lonely again with Hide around.

His Hide…

“Hide…You okay?” he asked softly, reaching up with his clean hand and brushed some of his blonde hair from his forehead.

Hide opened one of his eyes just barely to look up at the other. He knew Kaneki wasn’t small by any means but everything feels so much bigger when it’s shoved up your ass. He exhaled shakily, and managed a nod, swallowing dryly.

“I-I’m fine. You can move though.” He said softly, his voice trailing as Kaneki leaned closer to him. He tilted his chin up gently, receiving the kiss that Kaneki gently gave him. He had to admit the kiss was comforting, even as the man started to roll his hips, giving him the weirdest sensation in his belly. It didn’t hurt really, he just felt kind of numb in his lower body- numb and hot, and like a big thing was shoved up his ass. Not something you felt every day.

Kaneki didn’t really move as he kissed Hide, he just rocked his hips to let Hide and himself get used to being connected like they were. He wanted them to get used to each other. He swallowed Hide’s soft moans, moving away from his lips and down to his throat the moment Hide moved his arms to hug onto him.

He closed his eyes, his brows furrowing as he started to let his little rocks turn into rhythmic thrusts, and he shuttered as Hide started to moan freely into his ear. Kaneki rested his hand firmly on Hide’s back, panting softly into the crook of Hide’s neck. He couldn’t help but wonder why Uta had made them compatible for sex, but he didn’t question it too much.

Hide felt so real. His skin was soft, giving gracefully under his sweaty palms and his body jolted and tightened around him every so often. Kaneki could feel his skin stick to Hide’s as both of them started to sweat and he winced, feeling a bite against his shoulder.

Hide’s teeth released after a moment, soft lips replacing the hard ‘bones’ and he pulled back, pressing his hands into the bed on either side of Hide’s head.

Hide slid his hands from Kaneki’s neck, biting his lip and moved his hands to touch Kaneki’s hips, his nails biting into his skin as he watched Kaneki’s expressions.

Kaneki was beautiful in every way. He clenched his insides around the man, watching his eyebrows furrow tightly over his eyes and he gave a breathy laugh.

“Does…does it feel good?” he asked softly, clenching again. Kaneki replied by reaching down and holding one of his hips, Pushing through Hide’s clenched insides and burying himself deep inside of him. Hide’s eyes widened and he gave a choked gasp, his hips jerking up. Kaneki looked down to Hide lustfully, watching Hide bite his knuckle to keep is voice down.

“You feel so good Hide.” Kaneki huffed out, sounding breathless as he kept his hips moving rhythmically. The bed creaked beneath them as Hide writhed, rolling his hips up to meet Kaneki’s movements.

“F-fuck Ken-“

“Do you feel good Hide?” he asked softly, leaning in again to kiss his jaw as Hide tilted his head back. “Tell ngh…tell me. I wanna hear you.” He breathed softly into his ear, licking his lobe. Hide shivered, closing his eyes as he let himself enjoy the feeling of the man inside him.

He felt so hot and so full. Kaneki stirred him so deeply. Each press against his button made his cock throb and his stomach tighten. His moans became hiccups as Kaneki moved a bit faster.

“Y-yes Kaneki, f-fuck…” He groaned, clawing Kaneki’s hips before he reached down to tightly grip the sheets. Kaneki felt the man to grip his hips with his calves, crossing his ankles against the small of his back.

“Hide?”

“D-don’t stop…” Hide breathed, reaching his hand down to grip his throbbing length with a soft gasp. “Please don’t stop…” he breathed softly, reaching behind him to grip the sheets behind his head. Kaneki watched him as he moved, counting the ribs in his chest as his lungs expanded. Kaneki bit his lip, watching Hide’s body rock with each movement. Their movements had an embarrassingly wet slapping noise, but he didn’t care.

He leaned down to star kissing his lover, Feeling Hide tighten around him once more.

“I’m g-gonna come…” Hide breathed between heated kisses and Kaneki nodded, licking the man’s top lip.

“Me too…” he whispered softly, his voice breaking a bit. His eyebrows knit together as he pressed his forehead to Hide’s, closing his eyes as they started to move together.

“…Kaneki….” Hide whimpered out, his jaw tight. He was trying to keep his orgasm at bay but he could feel his belly tighten and his thighs warm.

“Hide…” Kaneki breathed softly, grunting as Hide came, his moan trembling as hard as his thighs were. Kaneki grit his teeth, groaning softly as he worked his hips through Hide’s convulsing orgasm, only for him to come himself.

Both men groaned softly, the warmth setting between them as Kaneki slowly stilled his hips.

Hide let his body go limp, relaxing his body as Kaneki moved in to kiss him again and again. His eyes fell shut as Kaneki gently kissed him. He reached up to hug the man close, bringing Kaneki’s head to his chest after they broke for air.

Kaneki rested his ear against the man’s chest, smiling as he caressed his arm.

“I love you Hide.” He whispered softly. Hide chuckled softly, running his fingers through the man’s hair.

“I love you too. How did it feel to punch your v-card?” he asked curiously and Kaneki flushed lightly.

“I could ask the same.” He replied and Hide snorted.

“How do you know I was a virgin?” Hide replied, looking away from Kaneki’s dubious look.

“Oh I wonder how I could possibly know that, Hide.” He scoffed and Hide laughed.

“Seriously though…How was it? I wanna know.” He murmured and Kaneki pulled back to look at Hide in the eyes. The post sex flush hadn’t left his gently freckled cheeks. Kaneki smiled and caressed his cheek.

“It felt amazing. I hoped it felt the same for you.” He said softly.

Hide smiled up at the other and nodded, leaning up tiredly for a gentle kiss on the lips.

Kaneki kissed back softly, jumping when he heard his phone go off. Hide covered his mouth in a bit of laughter and moved out from under the other.

“Looks like someone wants you.” He stated, clenching weakly at the feeling the man’s come start to dribble out of him. He crossed his legs.

Kaneki sighed when he felt Hide’s warmth leave him and he sighed, rolling onto his back and covered his face with a pillow.

“Who the hell would even be calling me…” he whined, blinking when the ringing came to a halt.

“Hello?” Hide asked, crawling under the covers and laid on his belly, stuffing a pillow underneath his arms. “Touka?” he asked and Kaneki shot up.

“Its work! No I don’t wanna go get off the phone!” he hissed and Hide waved him off.

“It’s Hide…Yeah! I came back a few weeks ago, but I haven’t been able to come visit everybody. How is everyone?” he asked, making small talk. Kaneki watched Hide speak, amazed that he could handle speaking on the phone so well.

Hide laughed. “Nishiki started working there? No way! I’ll have to come see him. Hm? Kaneki is in the bathroom, but I can pass a message along if you like.” He said, running his hand through his hair as he spoke.

“Uh huh…I’ll ask if he can make it. I didn’t know he was out of work for so long…Thank you for keeping his spot there, I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.” He smiled.

“Bye bye~! Maybe I’ll come with him if he decides to come in. Uh huh, uh huh, No problem…” he trailed, clearing his throat after Touka asked him a question.

“No, no I’m fine, Ken and I were playing a lot of Mario Kart last night and things got yell-y. It happens.” He lied simply, his cheeks a little flushed. Kaneki blushed, figuring it was about Hide’s hoarse voice.

Hide laughed at whatever Touka said and nodded.

“Alright Touka. I’ll tell him. See you around.” He said softly before hanging up and then looked to Kaneki with a disapproving look.

“You haven’t gone to work in two weeks? Ken you’re lucky you still have a job!” he scolded and Kaneki whined.

“They’re vacation days! A-and a few sick days…I didn’t want to leave you!” he replied back ad Hide sighed.

“Kaneki I can go to work with you, you know. I’m not tied to the house.” He said.

Kaneki frowned and looked down.

“I just wanted to spend as much time as possible with you…I’m afraid…Maybe you’ll…” he trailed, looking down and Hide frowned, his expression softening. He sighed and reached to take Kaneki’s hands.

“Ken, I’m not going anywhere, and I won’t keep secrets from you. I’ll be okay.” He assured, his eyes focusing and refocusing as he held Kaneki’s gaze.

Kaneki frowned before sighing softly.

“I don’t want to lose you again.” He mumbled and Hide shook his head.

“You wont lose me ever again. Not till the day you die. And I’m here to make sure that isn’t for a long while.” He explained softly, smiling gently. “You need to go to work Kaneki. Being a hermit isn’t an option.” He scolded oh so gently and Kaneki sighed.

“I know…” he mumbled, touching Hide’s wrists before looking up at him. “You’ll come to work with me?” he asked softly. “I’m not ready to quite leave you alone yet.” He said softly, sliding his hands down to touch his hips. Hide hummed.

“No problem Ken. Just don’t let me distract you.” He said, kissing his lips gently before moving to climb out of bed, shuffling quickly to the bathroom as the come started to demand to leave his ass. Kaneki laughed softly, hearing the bathroom door unintentionally slam. He went to his closet to get dressed, combing out his hair and slipping on some underwear and his work pants. By the time Hide had left the bathroom, Kaneki was buttoning his shirt. Hide leaned against the door, appreciating Kaneki’s new work slacks and moreso, how they looked on his cute butt.

“Can I top next time?” he asked softly and Kaneki blushed.

“You stop that! I don’t need…” he trailed and Hide chuckled softly.

“You don’t need another bonder before work, I get you.” He said, walking to the dresser where he kept his clothes and quickly got dressed, having combed his hair out in the bathroom.

“You think Touka missed me?” he asked and Kaneki shrugged.

“Why don’t you ask her? I know she felt a little guilty after what Yoriko had said to you.” He explained and Hide furrowed his brows, remembering what she had complained about to him about.

Broken…

Disrespectful…

He shook his head, not allowing what she had said a year ago to put a damper on his day. He pulled on a t-shirt and walked behind Kaneki, pressing against him and caressed his hips.

“She was right at the time. But I know she’s got nothing on be besides new parts.” He replied softly, kissing behind his ear as he ran his fingers up Kaneki’s belly. Kaneki gave a soft, pleasured sigh as he let his head rest on Hide’s shoulder.

“Hide, what did I say about boners?” He asked and Hide hummed.

“That you didn’t need another one before work.” He responded softly, letting his hands fall from Kaneki’s body. He stayed close however and kissed the top of his head.

“Love you Ken. We gotta hurry though. I don’t think Touka will wait for long.” He said cheerfully. Kaneki nodded and as Hide left to go put on some shoes, he finished getting ready himself, trying not to let the thoughts of his intimate morning cloud his focus. 

Both men hurried over to Antieku, Kaneki giving Hide a quick kiss before he hurried inside to get chewed out by Touka. Hide laughed softly before walking inside as well, his hands in his pockets.    
As Hide walked inside, he felt eyes on him, mostly from the workers that had known him before. He didn’t mind the stares however,  it had been a long while and it was kind of a violent way to go.  He nodded to them in acknowledgement before walking off to find a nice spot for himself to sit.  

Touka was giving Kaneki a stern talking to, lecturing about how he had left them to flounder without their full staff.  It was summer so there were quite a few more people coming in daily.  She looked up when she heard the bell again,  staring as Hide walked by them.  

“He’s really back?” she asked, sounding dumbfounded. She hadn’t expected a return of the android,  especially not after this long.  Kaneki watched Hide take a seat and he smiled,  nodding to her.  

“Yeah, it’s him. I told you he would come back.” He said simply.  Touka rolled her eyes before smiling just a little to him.  

“Well I’m glad you’ve got him back.  You were starting to worry me there.” She said, placing her hands on her hips.  “He looks a lot better now.  Not so pale anymore. Glad he’s back,  but don’t let him distract you from work.  And speaking of work,  go wait your tables.  You’ve got two, three, four, seventeen, eighteen, and nineteen today.  Hurry up.” she snapped,  lightly punching him in the arm to be on his way.  

Kaneki flinched slightly and gave a quiet laugh before nodding and clearing his head. 

“Of course.  And thank you for holding my spot here Touka, I appreciate it.” He said softly.  She waved him off and he hurried along,  giving a smile to the people at table four.  

Hide watched them speak, unable to hear but able to read their body language and figure that Kaneki was in the clear and Touka wasn't quite as angry as she sounded on the phone. He smiled to himself and picked up a menu, reading it even though he had the whole thing memorized. 

A woman walked over to him with a smile and asked him what she could get for him. He returned the expression, not deterred by her startled expression. 

“I’ll have a café Americano, light roast with some cream please. Oh, and a sugar cube.” He replied. Same thing he always ordered. He liked coffee but not the super strong stuff. 

The woman got over her initial startle and she nodded, writing down the order. 

“Can I get you anything else?” She asked. He thought about it. 

“Um… A slice of the apple turnover cake would be great.” He replied. She nodded to him and wrote that down, walking away. Hide watched her go before going to his phone, ignoring the light pulsing in his hips. It was a pleasant feeling, one that was unfamiliar but not unwanted. He was happy he could satisfy Kaneki’s needs and he felt pretty satisfied himself.

He leaned back in the chair, watching Kaneki take orders and serve dishes, looking as if he was in his best mood. He stood taller and looked healthier. He was proud. 

The woman brought back his order and he thanked her, dropping the sugar cube into the cup and stirred it gently.  

Hide screwed around on his phone,  looking through his social media sites and looked on the Hybrid Child website to see what was new with them.  It seemed that they were starting to go out of business.  Made sense,  given that Hybrid Children were on the expensive side and were quite the commitment. He sipped his coffee, sighing at the sweet and smooth taste.  

He wondered if he was one of the oldest functioning Hybrid Children out there.  He figured he wasn’t and that thinking that was far too depressing to be thinking about.  

Instead he went back to trolling around social media websites,  ultimately ending up on YouTube watching a documentary about serial killers.  It was a morbid hobby of his that he couldn’t let go of.  

He looked up when he felt someone looking down to him and he looked up,  blinking at the sight.  

It was a young woman, maybe nineteen, with jaw length blonde hair and a warm smile.  Her eyes were like a dolls’ and her skin was as clear as porcelain. 

“Hello.” She greeted him,  her hands folded in front of her belly.  She wore a crop top and jeans,  looking quite comfortable but also nice.  He rose his eyebrows at her.  

“Hello…can I help you with something?” He asked.  She nodded.  

“Yes actually.  I wanted to apologize to you.  Last time we met,  I was incredibly rude to you and I have felt guilty the entire time you were away. So I wanted to try to make up for that… Start over if you will.” She explained.  

Hide squinted at her for a moment before gasping quietly. 

“Yoriko?!” He exclaimed,  making her smile wider and a few other patrons look their way.  Touka and Kaneki looked up as well,  and Kaneki immediately looked defensive.  

Hide payed no mind. He stood up and cupped her cheeks,  looking over her pretty face.  

“Oh my god you got so big! What happened to you,  you're a grown woman now!’ He said in awe,  taking her hands and examining them. The skin of her right hand looked to be a different color from the rest of her and he frowned.  

‘What happened?” He asked. She looked down,  her smile falling a little.  

“Miss Touka was getting harassed and I stepped in to try and help her.  I got injured and the damage was too great so they replaced my hand.  No big deal.  It did teach me about fear… And Touka taught me about love in the following hours… I grew quite a bit that night.” She said, brushing some of her hair behind her ear before reaching to cup Hide’s cheeks. He blinked and she smooshed them a little.  

“Creator went to great lengths to fix you didn’t he?  Not a seam on you. And you’r skin looks so healthy too! I’m a little jealous.” She commented and laughed a little.  

“I am very happy that you could come back.  I don’t know how I would handle inadvertently causing your shut down.” She said softly, running her hands through his silky soft blonde locks. He frowned a little and reached to gently take her hands.  

“Care to sit down? I’d like to get caught up with what happened around here while I was gone.” He said,  moving to sit back down.  She complied and happily told him what had happened throughout the year,  pertaining to Kaneki and Touka and about her and Touka.  She told stories about the shop and the part timers that came and went.  

“The woman that served you today was a part timer.  I don’t believe she has ever seen a 2005-A model before.  There aren’t many of you guys around anymore from what I hear.” She explained,  sipping some of the coffee Hide had gotten for her.  

Hide made a face.  

“I’m not that old…” he mumbled and she shrugged.  

“Old for a hybrid child. Especially one of your model. A lot of them are breaking down and no one can really pay to have you guys fixed because parts are hard to come by. You got really lucky with Master Kaneki.” She explained,  stirring her coffee slowly.  

“To have someone love you so deeply as to bring you to the Creator himself is really a coveted commodity. Not everyone gets so lucky.” She continued and Hide nodded, looking down at his half eaten piece of cake.  

“I know i’m a lucky one.  Honestly i’m shocked that Creator even managed to reverse the damage that had been done. I feel better than I had for a long time. I’m very indebted to him and Ken as well.” He said,  looking up to find the man in question.  Kaneki was smiling as he chatted with an elderly woman at the bar while he cleaned a glass out. Hide sighed.  

“Kaneki could have easily forgotten about me and moved on with his life.  It would have saved him a lot of money, I’m sure.  I can’t say that I deserved to live while others deserved to die,  but I can say I’m grateful for the new life I was given. It’s my job to keep him safe and happy and I was given a second chance.  I can't thank either of them enough for that.” He said,  looking back to her who had her head resting in the palm of her hand.  She smiled lightly to him.  

“Then you deserve to stay with him,  end of story.” She smiled before looking to him with a little smirk. “may I ask a more personal question?” She asked.  

Hide looked at her suspiciously.  

“As if the other ones haven’t been personal?” 

“Those weren’t questions,  merely statements of fact.” She replied.  He pursed his lips,  his eyes focusing on the wood grain before looking back up to her.  

“...G ood point.  Alright,  have at it.” He agreed.  She smiled and leaned closer.  

“Have you gotten Intimate with Master Kaneki?” she asked and Hide choked on his coffee.

“Have I what?” He gasped.  

“Have you had sex with Master Kaneki? You two seem awfully close for a hybrid child and master.” She commented and hide leaned back against his chair, looking away as he swallowed some more of his coffee.  

“Well… Yeah?  We’ve been doin’ that kind of stuff for years.” He answered honestly.  

She gave him a look.  

“You know what I mean.” She said and he furrowed his brows,  a warm blush rising on his cheeks but he didn’t answer.  She took that as a yes and clapped her hands lightly.  

“When did it happen? Did it happen recently? Master Kaneki hasn’t looked this happy in ages!” She said cheerfully. 

Hide made a face.  

“What happened to the sweet little innocent Yoriko I used to know?” He asked and she gave him a coy grin.  

“The same thing.  Miss Touka and I have gotten Intimate on numerous occasions. She always seems to be in a better mood after a good orgasm,  and I was just wondering if Master Kaneki was the same.  It appears that this is true.” She said and Hide sunk lower in his seat.  

“I’m uh,  happy for you.” He replied,  not sure he should know about Touka’s intimate affairs. She smiled.  

“As am I for you and Master Kaneki.  Tell me,  did you top or bottom? “ she asked and Hide blushed deeper.  

“I don't think I should tell you that…” he mumbled softly and she giggled lightly before leaning back in her seat as well.  

“You bottomed didn’t you?” 

“Yoriko!” 

She laughed lightly and clapped a little.  

“What? It only makes sense. Don’t worry you’ll get your time eventually.” She said simply and he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I know.  I’m not exactly impatient with it.” He said simply.  “I really enjoyed it actually.” he said,  smiling a little.  She nodded,  her expression thoughtful. 

“I’m happy for you.” She said cheerfully.  He nodded.  

“And i’m happy for you and Touka. I’m happy you two finally see eye to eye.” He said softly.  “Last time we talked you guys were having some trouble right?” he asked.  

She frowned,  looking down.  

“I used to be too robotic for her I believe,  but I have since matured out of that state.” She replied and he chuckled.  

“Clearly.  Good for you.  I’m glad it worked out. Though,  Touka doesn’t strike me as the type to give up on the people she loves.” He said simply.  She hummed in agreement, looking up as Kaneki approached them.  

“Hide you ready to go?” He asked,  not quite looking in Yoriko’s direction. Hide furrowed his brow and looked at his half eaten dish before looking to the woman who sat across from him.  

“Yeah,  sure.  Do you want this?” He asked and she shook her head. 

“No,  but I’ll eat it anyway. It’s nice to see you again Master Kaneki.” She said pleasantly and He jumped a little,  not expecting her to actually speak to him.  

“E-evening Yoriko.  How have you been?” He asked.  She shrugged.  

“I’ve been pretty alright.  I heard you’ve been doing very well. “ she said.  He swallowed and nodded with a small smile.  

“Yeah,  ever since hide came back,  life has been much easier.” He said and Hide smiled gently to him.  Kaneki rubbed his shoulder.  “Yoshimura told me that I don't have to close tonight since Touka is staying late tonight.  Want to go get something to eat?” he asked.  

Hide grinned up to him.  

“Sounds great to me, you pick the place.” He said as he moved to stand, laying some money on the table to pay for his coffees and slice of cake. Yoriko smiled to the both of them before standing and giving hide a gentle hug.  

“Come by more often.  It was nice having another HC to talk to. And thank you again for forgiving me.” She said,  stepping back from him.  He smiled lightly to her.  

“Of course. Take care of yourself,  okay?” He said,  stepping back from her.  She nodded.  

“You as well. See you soon.” She said softly, watching them leave. It was a relief knowing the two of them could be together again. She was happy she didn’t make it so a hybrid child like Hide had to disappear.  She trotted to her mistress and gave her a quick peck on the lips,  taking the broom from her.  Touka blinked at the sudden display of affection and she flushed just a little.  

“What was that for?!” She asked,  taken off guard.  Yoriko simply smiled to her.  

“I just wanted to thank you for loving me Touka. I can never repay what you’ve done for me.” She said softly,  leaning to kiss her again.  

Touka furrowed her brows before sighing through her nose and kissing back gently.  

“You don’t need to thank me for loving you, you idiot...but I appreciate the sentiment.” She said,  touching Yoriko’s hip gently. “Go upstairs and wait for me to close up shop.  I’ll make us something special for dinner tonight.” She said,  kissing her girlfriend on the cheek and making her giggle lightly.  

“Sure thing. See you upstairs.” She smiled before trotting off.  Touka watched her go,  smiling to herself before noticing some of the other workers,  including nishiki giving her a knowing look.  She flushed before stamping her foot.    
“What are you guys staring at!” She snapped and many of them looked away,  laughing lightly.  Touka huffed before continuing to clean, wanting to hurry and get to her girlfriend.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You were pretty hungry weren’t you?” Hide asked,  arching a brow as he carried the leftovers of their dinner in a small to-go box.  Kaneki laughed lightly.  

“I hadn’t really eaten all day.  And you did tire me out this morning.” He pointed out.  Hide hummed. 

“Tired you out? Please,  you were quite ready for another round afterward. Don’t blame fatigue on me.” Hide said and Kaneki sighed contently,  taking hide’s hand in his own as hey walked.  

“I’m glad you're back Hide,  I really did miss this… I missed you.” He said softly.  Hide smiled warmly to Kaneki,  squeezing his hand.  

“You won't ever have to miss me anymore Kaneki.” He said softly,  as they approached their apartment.  Kaneki nodded,  smiling to him before flushing lightly.  

“Hey,  Hide?” 

“Hm?”

“What… What would you say to another round before bed?” He asked softly and hide blinked.  

“Another round… Of Mario Kart?” He asked and kaneki grinned. 

“You know it!” he said with an excited smile as he moved to unlock their door.  Hide followed Kaneki inside,  catching him for one more kiss.  

“And Kaneki, first loser gets to bottom tonight.” He said.  Kaneki smirked at his words,  squeezing his hand.  

“...You're on.”


End file.
